Friday, November 25, 2011

Who is a Mother ?

I think Motherhood is NOT the defining feature of Womanhood, but one of the many defining features. But who is a Mother? Is she a woman who gave birth to a child, and then raised it? Yes, if you go by how a dictionary defines her. But something as great as motherhood should not be constrained by the biological act of giving birth, however noble and painful it maybe. A mother is a woman who offers love that is pure as it can ever be and that comes from the spring of her soul. A mother is the one who sacrifices very selflessly and very willingly. A mother nurtures Life, like nothing else does. But, it is not just the child that she bore which brings out the Mother in a woman. The object of her love can be anyone, her child, a child, a friend , a family member, even a complete stranger. It could quite possibly be a dog, a cat, or any other pet, or even an idea or a belief. What makes her a Mother is the way she loves what she loves. That, I believe is Motherhood. And women start being mothers from a very early age, don't they?

p.s. And this, is my hundredth post :)

Monday, October 3, 2011

Becoming Superhuman

"Of all the superheroes in popular culture, I’ve always been most drawn to Batman. While many superheroes come by their superpowers through genetic blessing or freakish accident, Batman is a regular guy who gained his superhuman abilities on his own. He studied science, perfected his body, sharpened his mind and powers of deduction, and utilized technology. He became superhuman through his own effort, adding to his powers element by element"

Seriously. Batman is SO possible.

The Whole Man

Becoming superhuman involves reaching for ever greater heights in all areas of our lives: physical, mental, moral, and spiritual.

The average man spends his days as a sedentary lump; the superhuman man strives to keep himself in peak physical condition.

The average man rarely cracks open a book after college; the superhuman man is dedicated to lifelong learning, constantly feeding his mind with books, magazines, and newspapers and studying a wide variety of topics.

The average man cheats and fudges here and there; the superhuman man makes his word his bond and lives every day with integrity.

The average man is content with surface pleasures and material goods; the superhuman man explores the greater depths of life through meditation or prayer.

Well, the author defined superhuman-ness for a Man . It is my unequivocal belief that this is what a Superman is, and more importantly, through persistence and determination, we can get closer to it every day. Now, Let me define superhuman-ness for a Woman in a different way, albeit what the author says is applicable in its entirety to women as well.

The average woman is NOT a feminist . The Superwoman fights for her soul's right to breathe relentlessly, tirelessly and fearlessly. 

The average women rarely questions why Men are so hell bent upon controlling her, why Societal traditions mostly favor men and why is she perceived more as an object and less as a human . The Superwoman is hell bent upon annihilating anything and everything that challenges her right to be a  free and independent spirit .

The average women adjusts, and compromises and builds up her endurance for abuse . The Superwoman fights , ferociously . Whether it is mental or physical, the battles are long-drawn-out, hard and courageously won by her.  

The average woman lets some spineless, worthless, pseudo-masculine and inherently insecure excuse for a man dominate her. The Superwoman is indomitable.

The average woman probably does not know what balls are . In all likelihood, she has been taught that sex is sinful( unless she gets married ), and that her body should be cloaked modestly because - If an extremely horny man is turned on by looking at her anterior or posterior and decides to molest/rape her, she would be tainted and forever held responsible because she, in the first place should have magically transformed into an ugly, toothless,stinking man before the red-blooded men had a chance to lust at her. 

The Superwoman knows what balls are, and how they can be used as a terrific weapon, against men, bringing down the most masculine and mightiest of them on their knees withing seconds. She also knows that sex is neither sinful nor unnatural, but rather a genuine need which is to be take care of by her in the way she deems fit. And most importantly, she is never ever ashamed of her body, of the way she has been designed by Mother Nature, of the way she talks or walks, and she knows that it is her and her curvaceous body alone, which cradles Life .

The average woman is content to play the roles that the Society imposes upon her. She willingly believes in the virtues of marriage, virginity, motherhood, superiority of males and her own subservience to them . She never questions why she is supposed to be NOT good at Mathematics, Driving or Technology . She favors a life of cloaked security over open rebellion . And she gives beauty much more , than is due to it . 

The Superwoman is openly defiant and rebellious. She is exceedingly difficult to handle or to control, as a child, as a wife, as a sister, a daughter, an employee or as a citizen. She is demanding and vehemently outspoken . She is a die hard feminist. She knows she not inferior to any damn one . She has a beautiful and brilliant mind, and is the master of her own body. She is great at what she wants to be good at. She immensely values the beauty of the mind and the soul ,a lot more than the beauty that is merely skin deep. She loses her virginity because it is her's, in the first place. She marries because she needs a Life partner. She is not vessel for harvesting some capon's seed ! She is a mother because she is so full of Love and affection, that it cannot but manifest into a pristine and lovely child . The Superwoman kicks ass ! The Superwoman lives her Life .

The Superwoman and the Superman, complement each other, make one complete whole . They constitute Life .

p.s. The word average here does not imply that most women behave or act that way. Rather, it is just a way to represent the norm, which can be observed in many instances .

The source of the content in italics : Becoming superhuman in 2011

Friday, August 26, 2011

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels ......

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify and vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as crazy, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” ( Think Different, Apple)

Anna Hazare, and his A team ,are one such bunch of crazies .And if they fail, they will be the first to acknowledge that, and the first to stand up again, and fight some more. It is easy for some of us to dismiss them. For it is not easy to believe in something to extent, that you are willing to take a Government head on, and fast for so many days. But then, to believe in something that badly, is as good as being mad. That is why, the rest of us have labeled ourselves sane. That is precisely why a Bhagat Singh, a Bose or a Gandhi is not born everyday .

Long live the Revolutionary !

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Forsaken Childhood

It was not God forsaken, to tell you the truth. It was fine, in most respects. Quite a few ups, a few downs, it was a roller coaster ride I thoroughly enjoyed. When it got over, I saw this child striving to be a man, who turned out to be fine though. He is not a perverted, self centered, sadistic and chauvinistic pig, but rather a decent and generously flawed human being. I am very grateful for that. But, for many years, I could not remember the child I was. The recollection was hazy at best. That pained me a lot. You should never ever forget the child you were. You should never let  those memories fade away. If you can't relive a few moments from your childhood, if you can't be that kid again, even for a few fleeting moments, you lose a part of yourself. And the process of regaining that lost part is very long, arduous, excruciatingly painful, and at times, insurmountable. But it is worth every wail and every tear. Every bit of that anguish is worth it. Reclaiming my childhood has healed me, incredibly inspired me, and made me whole again. There are still many a gaping holes. Many bridges need to be built again. But I have the blue print, the gist of it. I had forgotten who I was. I did not believe. Rather, I refused to believe. But, slowly and steadily, it is all coming back. Like a giant jigsaw puzzle getting the most important chunks. The mist lifts, with each day. The journey of rediscovery is an absolute delight. To restore the never-say-die spirit, when the fight was worth it. To be possessed by the exuberance. To be happy for the tiniest of reasons. To be insatiably curious and ever bright eyed. Again. Forever.  
I am going to be who I was was. I am reclaiming my forsaken childhood. I will be damned, if I don't. 

"When I was a child, I was a superman. Now, I am just a man" 

p.s The title of the post, is a book bearing the same name, written by a great and tireless soul, a close friend of mine and one of the best human beings I have ever known. 

Friday, June 10, 2011

Gadhnier Fultooskis

Gadhnier Fultooskis :- Gone are the days when we could spare a moment to oil our hair. Or shampoo it. Or use a conditioner. Or soap our bodies while showering. Or brush our teeth. Or use mouthwash . Or a moisturizer . Or apply fariness creams. Life has become so hectic, that we barely have time to do one, leave alone the rest. With this in mind, the legendary Gadhnier have come up with the new and improved, all in one, Fultooskis . All one needs to do, is pour one cap full of it over one's head. And then, magic happens. The super charged nanomites contained in this fine product take care of you, from scalp to sole, and that too in a few seconds.Cleaning, massaging, oiling, shampooing, fairnessing, brushing, washing, and moisturizing every thing. Literally. So throw out the dozen or so bottles of junk on your shelf , and bring home the Fultooskis . Take care .

Saturday, May 14, 2011

How to be a Rockstar

Get some pain .
Its all around you .
Feel it . Breath it .
Let it seep through your body .
Suffer . Be miserable .
In a state of mental anguish .
Wail , if you can .
Scream . Rant . Whine .
The monkey chatters too much ?
Then tug hard at the reins .
Smoke . Smoke up . Get drunk .
Fight the pain .
Fight it with all your might .
Then give up .
Try and live with it .
Pull out your hair .
Sob like a child .
Inhale . Snort . Inject .
Deject . And reject .
Fight some more .
Doesn't work ?
Re strategize .
Wallow in the misery of others .
At least, give it a try.
Learn to exploit .
To cheat . To connive .
To survive . To thrive .
Get some religion .
Or a new age vibe .
Talk to Him . Pray to Him .
Curse Him . Blame Him .
Then Seek forgiveness .
Slash your wrists .
Or think about it , at least .
Its unbearable, right ?
Then take a deep breath .
And as you exhale ,
See through the fine mist ,
Of bull shit and lies .
Do you hear the cacophony ?
Of hypocrites and fakers .
There could be an epiphany .
Or just a shallow surmise .
Do remember ,
That the pain won't go away, ever .
But now , when it gushes through ,
Realize . And channelize .

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Little Boy is dead

The Little Boy is dead
He died a slow and horrible death
Choked on his own tears
Gasping for freedom
Drowned in his fears
Craving for fun
He was forced to run
He ran, but got astray
Where to go? Which way?
The path he chose was his own
But it wouldn't get him there, they said

Grow up, they said, and run that way
Look at his shiny car, bright and red
And she bought a bungalow with 17 beds
Measure your worth, compared to theirs
Run, run faster, run harder
And find a good stead
Keep running, till there is no one in sight
Keep running, because there is no end
Keep running, till there is no one behind or ahead

But he couldn't live that way
So the Little Boy killed himself
He strangled himself with a noose
Made of dead and dried up dreams
But he wasn't buried or cremated
Now, his corpse runs the race instead

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bhaartiya Naari

It is 2111 AD. India is the largest economy in the world. It is also the most populous nation, overtaking China decades ago. But, sadly the sex ratio is skewed beyond imagination. There are now only 100 women to every 1000 men. Even though 25% of men are homosexuals and legally married to another 25% of them, that still leaves around 400 men desperate for a mate,  for every 1000 of them. To cater to this huge market, Manav Technologies,  a Bio-engineering firm, has come up with a revolutionary product, engineered to perfection, designed to satisfy the Indian male. 

In a huge auditorium, in front of 500,000 eagerly anticipating men, the CEO and founder of Manav Technologies, Mr. Manav Chandra Parameshwar, unveils a product even Apple would be envious of. They have already booked 50 million pre orders for it. 

MCP : Gentlemen. Tonight, is the night. Your wait is over. I apologize for the delay, but you can’t come up with a product like this that easily. 

(The crowd goes wild, cheers enthusiastically)

MCP : I give you, the “Bhaartiya Naari” !

( 3 BN’s walk on the ramp . They look like supermodels. The guys go crazy ) 

MCP : Now now, gentlemen. Calm down. I know you all want to play, but will you have to wait for your BN’s. I know you did not have to wait long for your iPad, but this is way better than any tablet, or gadget you know.

( As the crowd subsides, the stage is prepared for a QNA . Journalists from all leading media houses get ready to shower the CEO with questions )

Journalist : You say that the BN is better any gadget, can you tell us why?

MCP: (Sniggers) That is a very obvious question. Does she look like any gadget to you, although we do plan to market the BN as one ( winks, and laughs at his own joke) . These ( pointing to the 3 BN’s who haven’t stopped smiling ) are living breathing human beings. But they have been engineered to be what most Indian men want her to be. She can talk. She can cook. She can jump into the bed whenever you want her to. She can think to a level decided by you. She can clean, sew and do a host of other things. And the best part is , she can’t nag, whine or cry, ever. How great is that?

(The crowd gasps. The journalist shuts his gaping mouth after a few seconds)

Journalist : That is incredible Sir, if what you claim is right. Tell me more. Why are the 3 women so fair? Don’t you have any models in darker shades?

MCP : (Laughs out loudly) Which country are you from Sir? 

( The crowd laughs at the joke)

We are currently offering 3 skin shades that is fair, Kashmiri fair and Caucasian fair. We absolutely do NOT cater to the market seeking wheatish or brown skin tones. And there is NO market for any darker shades. One huge advantage of our product is that their fairness level never falls throughought their lifetime. So there goes the expense of applying fair creams and lotions.

( A collective sigh of relief is heard ) 

 Journalist (a little fazed) : Can the models be of any desired height? What about hair color and length? 

MCP : The dream woman comes in 3 standard heights , 5’2 , 5’4 and 5’6 , given the average Indian male is 5’6’’ tall and has a fragile ego. For the unusually tall men, taller models can be availed at a request for customization. We offer many different shades of hair colors, but only 3 different kinds of hair lengths. We have designed the hair in a way that won’t need any shampoos or conditioners and will be strong and shiny forever. So there goes the need for shampoos and conditioners. Is the BN a money saver or what? 

(The crowd cheers, again) 

Also, the hair lengths have deliberately kept long, the shortest being a feet long, so that you can grab her by the hair easily and land her a few juicy ones whenever you are frustrated. We do try and cater to all the needs of our customers, you know. 

(The crowd gasps in amazement , and then cheers )

 Journalist: About the last part, Sir. How abuse resistant is the model? How much can she take?

 MCP: Oh, don’t you worry about that. You can kick, slap and punch as much as you want. Remember I told you she can’t cry, whine or nag. Well, she can’t a file a complaint either. Remember Assimov’s law for Robots( and winks again) . More importantly, these domestic abuse laws are applicable on real women, not genetically engineered ones. (Laughs, and so does the crowd) Well, if you are too rough on her and she does get a little bent or out of shape, just send her to our service stations and we will fix her up in no time. In fact, the first 3 are absolutely free. 

(The crowd cheers, and claps)

Journalist: What other great features does the BN have ?

MCP: Oh many. One cool feature is that the BN is programmable. You can program her to carry out your instructions to the letter. And no, you don’t need to learn Java or C++, even though half the country already knows it. You can program the BN using voice instructions. Say, you want your BN to take your bag when you are back from work, get you out of your work clothes, get you in your casual wear, give you a chilled beer and snacks, switch on the TV for you and massage your feet while you watch it, you just need to say so, in the language you speak. As in, “ every day, after I come from work, do so and so” . You see, it is so simple. We pride ourself on the user friendliness of our product.

Journalist : You claim that the BN is a human, a female? Is it capable of reproduction? 

MCP : She is as female as one can get, designed for red blooded male ( and winks ) As far as reproduction is concerned, the BN does better than that. It is not just capable of reproduction, it has been designed for selective reproduction. I mean, who the hell wants a woman who gives birth to children of both sexes? ( The crowd laughs) If that were the case, Thailand would not have built its economy on those baby boy labs. The BN is a boys only mother. Let me explain how it works. 

When you get a BN, a tubectomy is performed on it before it is delivered to you. So that you don’t have to bother with a condom every time you have sex. The BN does not have a normal menstrual cycle. For all practical purposes , it is turned off. The hormone level stays uniform, preventing any discomfort to you that could have been caused otherwise. When you are ready to bring your heir on Earth, just send the BN to our service stations, where we activate the procreative function. Now that she is ready to receive your blessed seed, just keep doing what you usually do. If and when , a female foetus is formed, it is auto aborted, and you won’t even have to hear or worry about it. In time, you will be proud father of a boy. Isn’t that genius? Now, nobody can blame you for not fathering a son!

Journalist: (Eyes wide open) But how is that possible? This is unbelievable!

MCP : ( Laughs condescendingly ) Why don’t we just give you the complete design of the BN? Then you can figure it all out. 

(Laughs , and the crowd goes crazy ) 

Journalist : ( Pretending to be unfazed ) So what else can the BN do ? 

MCP : Well, she knows cooking, cleaning, knitting, sewing etc. She can take care of the children and the elderly with ease. She can walk your dog and do your laundry. And she is well versed in Vatsayana’s legendary book. Guaranteed satisfaction. 

( Thunderous applause from the crowd ) 

And, when you get tired and bored of your old model, she can be exchanged for a brand new one. 

( Standing ovation for the CEO , people are clapping without a pause ) 

MCP : ( Trying to look modest, but can’t stop grinning like an ape ) That’s all Gentlemen. We have tried our best to satiate your ego. We look forward to your feedback. Enjoy the Bhartiya Naari. 

( When the dust finally settled 2 men, talking amongst themselves, as they leave the auditorium. )

Guy 1 : Wow. Manav Tech has finally accomplished what Men have been attempting throughout human history, the total objectification of women. Seriously, this guy has done a great service to Man kind. He should be given a Bharat Ratna. I can’t wait till I get mine. 

 Guy 2 : You Lucky bugger! What do I do? I am stuck with that whore, my not-perfect-at-all human wife. How the hell do I get rid of her, and get a BN of my own? But seriously, I second you. Three cheers to Mr. MCP. He is my new role model . 

Guy 1 : Why don’t you try for a job in Manav Tech? You have years of product testing experience, don’t you? And just imagine, the different ways in which you get to test the BN, if you know what I mean . 

( And the two men laugh boisterously )

p.s. This is a satire, just in case some one missed that. 

Thursday, February 24, 2011

An ode to Life

Death is inevitable.
This journey will end.
Your body will breathe its last and wither,
But not your immortal spirit , never !

But you do die, in your lifetime.
Many a times. Many a deaths.

You die when you are weak.
You die when you are a coward.
You die when you doubt your self.
You die, slowly and painfully,
When you are inert and full of sloth,
Motionless, lifeless, afraid to go forth. 
When you say I can't, I can't, I can't !

But each such death must lead,
To a new life, 
A new beginning where,
Courage is Life! 
Strength is Life ! 
Self-belief is Life !
And you, bustling and brimming with energy,
Thundering ahead with the all the might your spirit can muster,
Are the embodiment of Life,
And in this lifetime,
Avow, to never ever give up, to never ever say die !

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  - Eleanor Roosevelt

“Stand up, be bold, be strong. Take the whole responsibility on your own shoulders, and know that you are the creator of your own destiny” – Swami Vivekananda

Dedicated to the Butterfly. I wait for it to spread its wings, and fly. 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Let the Tricolor unfurl

I hope to see the National Flag of India, hoisted at Lal Chowk, which still is Indian territory, even though the initiative is taken by the much reviled and communal BJP. If there was no hue and cry when the Paki flag was planted there, why the hell should we be afraid or ashamed of doing it now? It is high time we reclaimed what is our own.