Saturday, March 13, 2010

Kislay Calling Kislay

Hi Kislay ,

This is Kislay . You might think 0f it as weird , that Kislay is calling you . And why ? Because aren't you Kislay ? So who the hell is this other Kislay . Well , you know what Quantum Mechanics says , that The Universe is one GOOGLE-ish number of possibilities , and I am one just one of them . To simplify things , you may assume that you chanced upon a futuristic time capsule . Anyways , here is the story .

If you continue doing what you are doing right now , then in some time you are going to end up in a Big Reality TV Show . You know , where in order to achieve the Honour of being the 'Hapest Aind Hapining' , you will have to make 3 pairs of shoes of crocodile leather by hunting 7 ferocious crocodiles , win over Laetitia Casta and Monica Bellucci as well , become the President of your dumb ass Housing Society , Do an Item Number with 6 pack FLABS , Act in a Saas Bahu soap for 7 days ( more than that would critically devastate your psyche , 1 month would wipe the very trace of an alert and aware Consciousness from you , Beware ) , And yes , the one of the prime importance , swear as much as you can , that your words are basically construed as one incoherent string of bleeps and bloops . Kind of like , Bleep bleep is such a bleeping bleepy bleep , by Bleep ! Bleep ! Bleep ! :D

And by the way , you will also change your fairness cream . For nowadays , the World and their husbands including grand parents and children , they all bleeping bleep use , the Plasma of Life . This is not your ordinary , two bit , mutation inducing cream , that will alter your genes to become a Melanine free cancer prone version of a Caucasian in just 93.62 bleeping hours ( Not that all Caucasians are cancer prone ) , but it is one which even God uses while he goes tanning( Essentially proving that God is white , ergo he needs a fashionable tan :P ) . It is a God Tanned Cream ! More about it later .

And yes, you will also start dressing like an English Man . For Bhura Indian Research Institute has just declared , breaking news style , that for the diverse Indian weather , the only one complete range of suitable apparel for it is what the English wear ( Technically , any white person would do ) . So get your homburg and tweed and Italian hand crafted shoes ready chappie , jaldi karo .

And one very very important thing . Now you are no longer single . Well , actually you our are not even a couple dude , or a triple , or any number in the vicinity , for your life changed . You are the proud Master of some 7272 women . And all of that happened when you started using Axe , wearing Armani , applying Fair and Handsome , brushing your teeth using Close Up , painting your house with Asian Paint , wearing Macro Man's , using Naughty Rabbit shaving foam, and finally , when you built your home using a bleeping HDFC home loan , with, JK Cement . This became possible through the boundless efforts of Biologists and Statisticians , who conclusively proved that Men think the best , when their blood is somewhere else , which inspired diabolically Genius Marketing Executives to come with all these awe inspiring sex life changing products ( in some cases , they alter sexual preferences ) . Therefore , all men now have not even an iota of any inhibition , run after beautiful women/men all the time . Ah , Finally simpler times . :) My Male Chest is Puffed , with pride . :)

So you understand Kislay , that if you continue to be the over thinking over analysing , as Tool says , and a fool of the first water , as Wodehouse very nicely puts , the future holds all these nice things for you . And listen you nincompoop . I can't get to you if you don't use Vodafone , I don't trust the others . And if possible , use a mid-to-high end Nokia set with 3 G and Wire Less capability . It puts a lot less strain on me , considering that I am a kind of an astral being mate . So take a chill pill , ok ?

And one very important last thing . Sorry for dragging it on yaar . You absolutely must give up Mik and Milk Products , and live soley on Diet Soda and TGIF Cocktails . All that paneer, milk , cheese , curd and shakes your fat behind and rotund tummy feasted on has made me Lactose Intolerant . It is against the law now to break wind , neither in public , nor in private , thanks to exceptional sociological and sociopathic brilliance of the Indian Moral Police Force . Seriously , Kislay , you need to get a grip on just this one tiny little problem of yours . The rest is a smooth sail . And btw , don't squeal it to your room mate .

So do as I say . I will be calling regularly to check on you . Pay your bleep-damned bleeping bills on time .


Kislay ( v4.22+e26FF )

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Atheist , The Man of God and the God Man

The very concept of God is so overly anthropomorphized, that some of the mentally strongest, the most intelligent, and the most rational of our species ends up disbelieving in it. I think that this anthropomorphizing stems out of a very human urge, to see God as a human, with superhuman abilities, all stemming out of the belief that “God made Man in his image”. So if any other species apart from human were to develop a brain sizeable enough to interpret divinity, will they perceive God as some sort of a super-animal ? I am not kidding at all , that was a very serious question . Say , if Lions had an average IQ of a human , will their society depict God as a Mega Lion ?

The very existence of light, gravity and matter, and the universe which encompasses it all cannot be denied. And neither can the existence of the source or rather the origin of all energy, whose different manifestations are absorbed by all our senses. If some us fail to see God, in all likelihood the cause could be those who try to force their knowledge upon us. If someone is an atheist, maybe he is so because all his life so far, he has seen it as nothing but an evil influence, either directly or indirectly , the greatest excuse ever to shed blood . If an atheist defies religion and God, then those who don’t must acknowledge, that is takes courage to go against a prevalent and widespread social belief and custom and considerable mental verbosity to proclaim your iconoclastic beliefs.

Let's say an atheist was explained Life , Evolution , The Universe , the Big Bang and the concept of Consciousness in as a scientific manner as possible . And then, he is told that there is a theory which points towards a common factor binding it all together. Something on the lines of the Unified Field Theory. And we call it the G.O.D. factor. What will he believe then ? And what will he challenge ?

The following is a comment left on one excellent post by Chrysalis by a close friend of mine, Dj.

“Amazing post....very rationally written! Could'nt have agreed more wth u..... i guess there are very few existing on this planet in the present "kali yug” who truly understand the notion of "I" and "GOD", and you sure r one of them.

I too was born in a religious family, on occasions over religious. Could never grasp the rationality of pomp and meaningless rituals, hence almost turned atheist. But whatever Vedic texts, quantum physics I have read and blogs like this one draw me back to the concept of "I" and "God". Would love to read another such post on these lines. Please keep writing.”

As Dj says, he almost turned an atheist. And why? Because it was expected of him, to believe in the notion of God and practice his religion, on its face value, to synchronize himself with it , just for the sake of it . But the scientist in him could not let him go astray, he almost rejected it. It was only when he started discovering the spiritual aspects of it, he moved further towards it. He is trying to understand God through Quantum Physics, Vedas and Rationality. Whether he fails or succeeds is immaterial because the path he is treading on is right. That is what religion, “the way to the Almighty”, is , and should be according to me . Dogmas, Rituals and vengeful Personal Gods is what it has been reduced to . From Millitant GodMen , to Proselytizing GodMen , with the Horny & Profiteering GodMen thrown in the middle. My usual angry self, lets out a disgruntled sigh every now and then, at the religion coated bull shit thrown in my face. But more than that, what hurts is that why does no University have a course on becoming a successful GodMan.

These are the visible flaws of Religion. Leave alone the fact whether God exists or not for a moment. As I said earlier, if you just consider the amount of blood that has been shed in the name of God, don't you think many sane, rational, and good people will become atheistic?

One last thing that DJ said, an experiment he proposed years ago from now , back in the Golden Days. The idea is to raise a child in an environment where he is not subjected to the notions of theism or atheism. No mention of the existence or absence of God at all. And then you wait, to find out whether this child does ever go down that road? Does he ever ask those impertinent questions? The experiment bears a stark resemblance to The Truman Show.And it would a cruel experiment to carry out.

The most irritating and intolerant aspect of this rigmarole is the ceaseless arguments, bickering, fights and bloodbaths, over convincing each other of the existence of our own personal Gods, our different versions of him. The most exasperating part is the need to get acknowledgement for our own beliefs from people, who may think or perceive very differently, and so, would obviously misconstrue or not construe at all , of what we do. It is like an Arab fighting with a Hindu, where the Arab is willing to behead the other, and the Hindu eager to burn him alive, for what the Arab calls “aab” is referred to as “jal” by the Hindu, and the two are completely oblivious of the fact that no matter what you call it or how you see it, it is Water.

I have come across quite a few communities in Orkut, where there is an ongoing war-of-the-word between theists and atheists. I have seen some of these battles take place on the blogosphere as well. And I try to stay away from them now, for neither will my arguments serve any purpose, neither will I change my belief system. Change is brought about by self realization, and everything else can be nothing but a catalyst or an influential agent. The manner in which members of both the schools of thought, keep trying to convince the other about their misconceptions, would shame the most passionate of all zealots.

So you believe in God, or you don’t. Cogitate, contemplate, debate, retrospect and introspect! Make your decision, and please live with it in peace. But why force your belief down somebody else’s throat. What I fail to understand is that why can't it be left to me and me alone to decide whether I bow before a God or not. I like most devout Hindus do bow before an Idol out of reverence, love, awe and sometimes fear. As a child, the Holy Trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh were super men who created, preserved and destroyed. The Mother Goddess was a fiery and ferocious, yet a very loving and nurturing mother, all of humanity being her children. As an adult, I sometimes feel that the Holy Trinity is nothing but the process of creation, preservation and destruction, the source of those fundamental processes . The Mother as once pregnant with the seed of the life, the point of singularity for the Big Bang, and nurturing the Universe since its conception . I believe so, because of the way I was raised. And I do not think it has impaired my judgment or reasoning.

As I developed my own thought process, I have questioned my own beliefs, tested them, and drew my own conclusions. And this process of design, development and testing is an ongoing one, and never shall it cease, even if I come to disbelieve. I am not inspired by the way I practice my faith to kill, rape, murder or maim. If, I am vengeful or murderous, if I harbor hatred and negative sentiments for my fellow beings , it is more due to the shortcomings in me as a human and a man, rather than the work of the Big Guy. For I am the product of my own deeds, my very own actions have shaped my character, my life and destiny.

Now it won't make much of a difference if I perceive that God as personal or impersonal, whether I envision Him as the expanding and contracting Universe or just a scintillating source of light. I do NOT like being labeled delusional. And as far as evidence or proof of the existence of God is concerned, does the absence of evidence imply the evidence of absence? It is positively insulting to be told that my belief in a higher power suggests that I have a closed mind. That function is governed by weltanschauung of the individual. Freedom to Believe in God or Not is one of the most fundamental of all liberties, and it should be treated like one. As I see it, the myriad schools of thought in this World pertaining to the matters of existence and/or absence of God, could be envisioned as lenses of different tints and hues, and nature, convex, concave, spherical or cylindrical. Light cannot be but seen in different ways through them.

I, for one, believe that no faith is totally good or bad as such. Using the water example here again, religion like water is tasteless, colourless and odourless. So it is the followers who spice it up, aggrandize it, embellish it appeal to their own taste buds, sometimes so, that it doesn’t appeal to the other fool.

"Religion is the opium of the masses”. And how do most drug addicts end up ?

Coming back to atheism, I truly and sincerely respect some of them. If I dislike a few, it is because they are no different from a religious fanatic, perpetually busy shredding every damn thing that Religion touches or inspires. I hope the Atheistic movement does not become another Organized Religion without a God. I fervently hope that the day never comes, when they too become one of the enemies of Humanity, not unlike the many religious extremists plaguing the Planet right now. The intelligent indifference of Atheism should never become the murderous zeal of a Fanatic.

To Believe or Not to Believe, is a very personal and individual choice. You have the right to shred, demolish and question my belief system, but no right to judge or annihilate me for being an adherent, provided it is not the direct or indirect agent of death, destruction and chaos.

A theist and an atheist, once saw the glimpse of entire universe, in its enormity and magnificence, and were awed beyond expression by it. The theist yelped, “Oh My God! This is Him!” The theist interjected in an equally wondrous, yet a slightly rational tone, “No, my good man. That is nothing but the Universe. And it is incredible.”

P.S. : Why the hell did I not think of becoming a God Man ? It hurts to realize that I will have to start as a novice in this Industry , and then gradually work my way up , even though I keep yapping about Religion and Philosophy most of the time . So please pray for me . I promise you , I swear I will not succumb to Horniness , and I will treat all men,women,children and animals,and certain inanimate objects with the Total Respect . Pray for me , so that one day I can quit my job and become Super Shree Sanganak Swamy Manipal Maharaj . To SMSize it , sm42_Baba . What say you ?

P.P.S. Do think about your belief system , and compare it with others .