Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Why do we cry?

Why does a new born cry?
It’s the cry of life, filled with air,
Loud and clear, sans fear,
The beginning of a new journey!
A journey towards his childhood!
But then, why does a child cry?
Pangs of hunger, away from mother,
Scary monsters, spooky ghosts,
Or lost in a crowd of unknown hosts,
A pet died, a broken toy,
Or Just for the sheer joy!
Then he moves on to be a teen,
Thirteen, Fourteen …Eighteen, Nineteen,
So why does a teen cry?
Crazy Hormones driving him mad,
Could not hang on to a new fad,
Misunderstandings and misgivings,
Infatuations, oh that confusion, never ending!
Or enough of immaturity he had!
Then you to step into adulthood!
Young Blood! On Top of the World!
College’s Cool! End of School!
And why do you cry then?
Failed a test? What a pest!
Made a wrong career decision,
Hurting more than any incision!
Got dumped, your heart broke?
Or couldn’t get your heart throb?
Sick and tired of your job,
Couldn’t get married, or just got,
Or because this world is just a plain rot!
You grow older everyday,
As the life’s clock eternally ticks away!
With every day, you get another reason
More pain, more tears and more treason,
Facing love, hate, birth and death,
Fighting against all with all your breath,
And life goes on, on and on,
And then you reach the final stage,
Where you suffer from old age!
Gray hair and weaker limbs,
Addled brain, your vision dims,
Decay working with all its might!
For some it’s the kidney, lungs or liver,
Or at times it’s the old faithful ticker!
And if its not health or wealth that’s gone,
Then for those departed, you write a song,
Of those hearts that do not beat,
Or vanished forever in hasty retreat!
Metaphorical or literal, you got kicked!
Ignored and neglected, deprived and deceived,
You wished to God you were dead,
And then you cry, once again,
More tears you shed, yet nothing you gain!
All your life you have been crying,
Longing or needing, cursing and sighing!
For once, give it a rest!
Why don’t you look down the memory lane?
And Thank Him for the gift of life,
Its only when you’re dying,
You realize that you were lying,
Yes, there were times when you had to cry,
But weren’t there, too, moments of love and joy?
Through all the twists, turns, curves and bends,
You lived to see your rightful end,
You passed the Almighty’s test!
And its time now to leave this world,
And sojourn amidst the stars above,
Do it with a smile and a brave heart,
The immortal soul, your departs,
While the withering body rots and rusts,
From ashes to ashes, dust to dust!!

Kislay Chandra

When are you in love?

When your heart aches for her day and night,
When anything without her just doesn’t seem so right,
When your heart skips a beat at her sight,
When your soul craves her with all its might,
When you want to hold her hand all day long,
When you look in her eyes to read the unsung song,
When you want to feel her breath on your lips,
When her absence makes your heart flip,
When you want to touch her, caress her and smell her self,
When you want to feel the wind blowing her hair at your face,
When nothing pleases you other than her embrace,
When you want to cry when she is not near,
When her voice to you is sweeter than sugar,
When the touch of her skin sets you on fire,
When you want her even when there’s no desire,
When you don’t have words to speak out your heart,
When you want her sleeping besides you every night,
When you still love her after you had a fight,
When you want to make love to her alone,
And accept the changes in her without any groan,
When she is the air you breathe, the world you see,
When she is your sun, moon and your galaxy,
When she is with you, you feel like a king,
With her by your side, you fear nothing,
When she makes a journey uphill a joyride,
When you got hurt and she cried
When you feel that she is the One,
With whom you’ll go till the end of thine,
Leaving your imprints on the sands of time,
When she is all in this world you need,
When the thought of losing her is the most you dread,
When you’ll sacrifice anything for her,
Then, I believe, you are in Love!

Composed by Kislay and improved by Siddhartha


A riot broke in my land
Blood flowed and flooded,
through every hand ,
Man slaughtered man, and,
In vengeance was butchered by him.
A father and son were amongst those,
One perished, the other vowed revenge.
But when the time to kill came,
He heard the cries of a weeping mother,
All around him were grieving losers,
Their cries pierced the depths of heart,
The tears were many, the anguish same,
His hands froze, the malevolence maimed,
In death, he saw us all as one,
For they had no religion,
once they were gone.

How I landed in MIT !

Every body cries when they are born. That cry is what gives us our first gulp of air, and a new life begins. Sometimes when the new born is too lazy, some bozo slaps the child’s behind to remind him of its importance and all is well. My mother tells me that was not the case with me. I was very prompt in making my voice heard, and so loud was I, that even the deaf heard me. No body’s hand even hovered near my precious little butt. Little did I know what the future had in store for me? So, life went on till the day came, when I had to make a decision regarding my career. I must have been high, or have had brain fever or something when I chose engineering. I guess it could have been possible that aliens abducted me and did experiments on me (Have seen X-Files/Taken , Big Fan !). My room mate has a firm belief in the fact that it happened and the experiment was a horrible failure. That would explain a lot of things! Anyways, engineering it was! Hell, I even dropped a year for it. I actually didn’t study PCM(that’s physics, chemistry and mathematics ,for those infidels who have never lurked near the temple of science!) but a lot of other things, for instance, every novel I could lay my hand on. So much for my hard work. And as it was to be, I missed everything by miles and my engineering career was about to end before its beginning. My guardian angel must have been working overtime or something! But then the wheels of my fortune turned around. This still remains one of the unexplained mysteries of the world as to how the hell did I secure a rank, measly, though still enough to get me a place in MIT.Bad Karma, I guess! That event freaked out my entire family. So I left home with my lock, stock and barrel for “engineering” college. But let me tell you something, from the time I cleared UGET to the day I gave my first sessional I was on Cloud Nine. Not exactly what I seem to be suggesting. But then I am pretty sure it was not me. It was possibly drug induced, a mental disorder or one of the side effects of alien abduction. I was free from the clutches of my family(as they were always nagging me to “study”, the importance and benefits of this occupation I realize now!), I was in Manipal , and I was having a good time. To cut a long story short, I had so much fun that I ended up getting a year back. Yes sire, the loss of another year that would make it two.So, instead of earning a B.E. in 4 years like a regular person, I would eventually get mine in 6 years. A dual-degree! One in B.E. and the other, a masters in “How not to do anything and waste your time and your father’s money and still be happy-go-lucky “! If any of you non MITian non-engineers happen to read this, you cannot possibly imagine what a colossal procrastinator and how severely retarded you need to be to fucking fail in my college ! Well then , that’s that ! I guess I needed that mega-nudge ( It nudged me 365 days out of my orbit) . Anyways, I am trying to change my self, turn over a new leaf . By the way , if I haven’t mentioned this , my name , Kislay , it means a bud or a new leaf . Striking co-incidence ! Bitter irony ! Or what ?

P.S. I cannot possibly explain why I started writing this in the manner I did , and then ended up writing about something totally different ! Deranged ? Severe side-effect de-rustifying your once-grey cells ? Pressing the mental accelerator a bit too hard ?

Facing Death

I never had to stare at the wrong end of the gun .I do not suffer from any terminal disease. Never ever faced death. My only real sufferings in the 23 years I have walked this earth were the brutal asthmatic attacks. Everyone in my immediate family is alive and kicking, thanks to Him. In fact, I have never really suffered. But I have seen others suffer, people who are close to me. And I have seen their loved ones dying. I could not even offer one decent word of condolence. Leave alone empathy, I could barely offer sympathy. Death makes me so uncomfortable, I get so embarrassed by the thought of approaching person who lost someone and say a few comforting words. It’s not because I don’t want to or I do not care. I do feel for their loss from the bottom of my heart, but I just can’t. The very thought makes my throat go dry and mind numb. Dumb as a dodo! And it has happened so many times. There was this uncle of mine, who was shot to death. He was only 19. I was 12, I saw his father cry his heart out. It can be said that I was too young to offer anything. And then when I was a bit older, 18, the mother of a friend of mine was murdered. It was so bloody shocking. Another friend of mine asked me to accompany him to his home. I was scared shitless. I chickened out. What do you say to a person who’s lost his mother at such a young age, in such a violent manner?” I am sorry for your loss”? Will that suffice? Will it make any difference? He eventually got over it, and I guess is quite happy now. Praise be to the Almighty! .There were two more deaths in my family, one unexpected and one expected. An uncle of mine lost her mother, old age got to her. An aunt of mine was suffering from a very serious disease and did not have very long to live. My father asked me to go and see her, pay my homage. Made a real crappy excuse.” I think it would be more sensible if you go and see her, after all you are her brother and much closer to her than I am”, was the sad-ass reply I gave. How pathetic! Chickened out again. And when she passed away, I didn’t say a word, as usual. The three sons she left behind, my cousins, who are close to my heart did not even get a call from their brother. I haven’t discussed it with them as yet. Not even mentioned a word. When I saw the eldest of them, seeing that he getting on with his life, I pretended as if nothing had happened. What am I afraid of? Why am I so scared?

Monday, March 26, 2007

About Me

A word of advice: The following is to be read if you can really spare the time and are not averse to reading! 784 words of whatever-you-feel-like-labeling it (For e.g. Pure BS, sheer genius etc. etc.) .Feel free to comment, if I don’t like it, I will delete it!

Dear Reader,
My XXXL size “about me” will definitely bring out some exclamation or the other from you, though in different tones and degrees. Most of you will think I have written a bit too much, and you might think of me as a narcissistic, egoistic (even egotistic!) and an eccentric individual, but, this section, it’s about “me”, and so, I will write about myself as much as I bloody please! It’s really difficult to write, describe or define you in a few words, and I am definitely not one of those gifted people. My humble apologies for committing the sin of prolixity. If I was forced to use as few a words as possible, I would say I am human and humane, but at the same time I do not think words are ever going to be enough. Each one of us is infinite and at the same time infinitesimally small. It’s the paradox of being a human. Well then, about me! I am funny, and I try to be funny at times, with disastrous consequences (Don’t even get a whimper of laughter I was trying to get from my audience).I love laughing and I laugh quite often and quite loud. I am easy going and easy to please, the number of movies I did not like and the number of times I actually felt that the food I ate sucked would support this theory. I hate hurting anyone, and am deeply disturbed when I do so. I am friendly to most of the people most of the times, and it’s only when my self-respect or sense of justice is hurt that I resent someone for sometime (you do need some time to cool off). But I bitterly hate the very sight and question the very existence of those I do not like, and there a few such people in my “shit” list and I would definitely say “GO GO GO” to God if he offered to wipe these scumbags just to please me. I could be the first one to extend an olive branch, and bury the hatchet, and I can forgive but I can never forget. I have a firm and unshakeable faith in God , and have never doubted His existence. I love my country, I dream about its glorious and magnificent past, I fantasize about its ascent to glory in the future, but I cannot call myself a true patriot till I have actually done something for her, directly or indirectly. I love my religion and I have a deep reverence for its philosophy. .I love my language and admire its richness and strength. I love my state but I am saddened by the fact that most of the people from my state do not have sense of sub-nationalism. My favorite word in the English language is “imagine” and I have a really wild and crazy imagination. I am toooooo ambitious for the amount of drive I have. I love even numbers and am amazed, intrigued and enamoured by Prime numbers. I love dogs, deeply despise cats and love animals that roam and prowl in the wild, the predatory type. I am fascinated, captivated by and intensely desire for “Sex and Violence”, the two basic and primary shades in the panorama of human emotions. Public Display of Emotions makes me really hot under the collar. I am honest and loyal though sometimes foolish . Hot-blooded and stubborn, I could unconsciously be rude. I delve quite often into philosophy and love to think about things which leave perturbed and in a chaotic state of mind.Shy,reserved,moody,splenetic,craving peace ,tranquility and absolutely zero human contact is one side of me , while the other one is a cheerful,care-free,comical,hyper,weird,joker who likes to be in the thick of the things, the cynosure of all eyes! And I think there is a streak of brutality and violence in me , which has surfaced a few times . I believe in the goodness of my fellow man .I also believe that violence is an integral part of nature, of survival , and it cannot be avoided . The human ability I admire and respect the most is Intelligence , and the Geek shall inherit the Earth ! So , have I really said something about myself ? Or is it just a drop of the ocean ? Each day you discover something new, about the world around you as well as yourself. And there’s so much left, untouched and unexplored .Every person is a book, the deeper he is, more the number of pages. I guess I will make it as a short-story or a novella! If you have reached this far, I must congratulate you for perseverance and thank-you for your patience. Good day to you!

P.S. My Orkut profile’s ‘about me’ is the edited version of this! Edited to make it fit there.

Dumb Love

Dumb love

I saw her today, again
For the umpteenth time, it caused pain
Stinging, burning, blinding
And I felt a deep shame
A loathing, hate for my self
For I could never gather enough courage
To speak out her name
For countless days and sleepless nights
I have dreamt of her
But couldn’t even get near
We pass by each other
Sometimes, our eyes meet
So mesmerizing I find them
That time will freeze
And I daren’t smile
For will she smile back at me?
I am a mere stranger for her
With an unknown, yet familiar face
How shall I tell her the tale of my heart?
When I can’t even break the ice
She once sat besides me
Which sent me on cloud nine
Between stolen glances and fleeting glimpses
I conjured a reason to speak
But words failed to come out
And didn’t even meet those eyes
Fearing I’ll give myself away
I lost it to my weak
I hear her laughter, her voice
I see the glow in her face
I crave for her warmth, her scent
Surging towards her, I stop
And resignedly look away
Foolishly believing that it’s not meant to be
While the clock slowly ticks away

Kislay Chandra


"There is no act of faith more beautiful than generosity from the very poor"

Gregory Roberts

"You cannot categorize people by their religion,colour or nationality , but by their actions which are either good or bad "
Not Without My Daughter
Betty Mahmoody

Verses from Dead Poets Society

But only in their dreams
Can men be truly free
It was always thus
And always thus will be

Show me the heart unfettered by foolish dreams
And I will show you a happy man

Gather your rosebuds while you may
All time is still a flying
For this flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying

I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately
I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life
To put to rout all that was not life
And not when I had come to die
Discover that I had not lived

To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering - these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love - these are what we stay alive for

Carpe Diem! Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary