Thursday, May 6, 2010

My Dear Women

What comes to your mind, when the first thing you read in the morning is about a padeophile who got away? Or when you read gruesome headlines like “ 7 year old girl raped and killed” . 7 year old ? Raped and Killed ? What the FUCK ? What the FUCK is wrong with a society where children , innocent, divine, pristine, and unspoilt, get raped and killed !

From the very day a woman comes to existence, as a being on this Earth, she is the target, assaulted at every stage of her life. From female infanticides, to being raped and killed, no matter how old or young she is. Whether she flaunts her gifts in a bikni or gracefully covers herself with a hijab, whether she wears a saree, salwar,skirt or shorts, no matter what, why or when, she gets hit. The sickness of men when it comes to sharing the Planet with Women is universal , and manifests in many many cruel ways . They are mostly animals, or animalistic at times, at best.

Leave alone Rape and Murder. They are the end of the spectrum. What about being sacrificed for the sake of a mythical honour, being burned for dowry, being abused by the husband, exploited at the Workplace, sold in the market place, molested in a crowded space? What about the myriad other ways, in which, We, men , in general, make things difficult for them?

This huge gap, between the socio-economic status of men and women, will it ever be bridged by Reservations alone? I don’t think so. And neither can we bridge it by special favours and treatments to a few . You think, just because you don’t see it happening around you or with you, the times have changed, and women now walk along men, shoulder to shoulder? If you do, then you are among the lucky few in India for sure. I cannot say what happens in the Western countries for sure .

And to top this fine fettle of affairs, the Media has descended upon Womenkind, as a eco-friendly fossil-free resource, to be used anywhere, and in any way possible to maximize profits. No, it is not just pronography. Pornography is very direct. It is very blunt . What I am talking about, is the multitude of advertisements, that perpetually drive home the insidious message that if you use :-

My Deoderant -> All the Women for You
My Hair Oil -> Hot wife for you
My Cement -> More women . I don’t know how, but more women for you.
My underwear -> A hot woman for you
My pen -> A hot teacher will fall for you
My Car/Watch/Laptop/Mobile/Analgesic/Soda/Umbrell/God-knows-what-else -> Woman, in every nook and corner for you

And I am not counting the tv-shows and cinema.

So what message do I get , on a subconscious level? And why would would I need so many physically beautiful women? Ergo, a woman is an object, to be enjoyed and collected, if possible. And this message is put forward, 24/7.

I can’t understand the way this society wants to function. It is at odds with it self .

It seems to me, that they are trying to go by the following :-

1. I am a Man. I rock. Even if I don’t, let me reiterate. I am a MAN. I rule.
2. I want to sleep with as many women as possible. From my teenage.
3. It is my birthright to molest, eve-tease,grope etc., any woman that dares to step outside.
4. If any other man does the same to my mother or sister, all hell will break lose.
5. When I marry, I want a hot wife who cooks,cleans and bears my child.
6. I want to be paid a certain amount for my masculinity , and the huge responsibility I take on my shoulders, to feed and protect your daughter. ( I forget at times, that I also get a wife, and the mother of my children)
7. If the hot-wife is an only child, I would be very happy. I don’t want her brothers to share her fortune. My fortune is mine. Her fortune is mine as well.
8. My wife should be a virgin, when I marry her.
9. I should have robbed at least one girl of her virginity before I get married.
10. My wife should not ever betray me.
11. I may sometimes sleep around, just to recreate myself.
12. My wife should respect every memeber of my family, no matter how they treat her.
13. Of all the children 50% or more should be sons.
14. If all the children turn out to be sons, I will reward my wife appropriately( depends on the build,complexion, health of the son, and what he becomes) over her remaining less torturous life.
15. If all are daughters, then all hell will break lose.
16. I may decide to kill some of my daughters, even if I dont have many of them, at times. I may kill them at birth, forcefully marry them off anytime I want, virtually killing them, or may kill them if they marry against my divine wish.
17. I may be upsetting the sex-ratio, but fuck that, my honour comes first.
18. Another source of my beatific honour is the possession of sons with beautiful wives.
19. I am extremely aginst homo-sexuality of any kind. Homosexuality of the feminine kind can be condoned provided I am entertained by it.
20. Coming back to my wife, she should take care of all my children. Sons can hang out with me.
21. All my sons, should get ample opprotunity to play with as many other girls as they want.
22. Any woman , my son marries, should be pure, as was mine, and should not have had any affairs prior to the marriage.
23. It is the fundamental duty of the father-in-law of son’s, to pay me back with interest, all money that I ever spent on him. But he does not get my son for it.
24. If my wife or daughter should get raped, I will first try and rule out whether she asked for it.
25. If any family member does that, I may punish, my wife/daughter, depending on what I think happened.
26. My wife/daughters should not step outside, without my direct permission.
27. I want a certain percentage of the women, to be set aside, for my , and my fellow-men’s recreation. These women, will be treated the worst of all, because of what they practice. The sleep with men, for money.
28. There are a few, amongst, many other things that I want from Women. The others escape my mind. So to simplify things, I have the right to impose any rule I like, from flattening breasts to inspecting wheter women are wearing bras or not. So please co-operate. Or else, you know.

Now , you tell me, how the hell will a society be sane, given even half of the above rules are true. Men try to tilt eveyrthing in their favour to such a crazy extent, that things are way out of balance. But we never see the root cause. We suffer, and make women suffer even more. When we don’t get our sons,we kill them. When our sexually frustrated sons, as a result of the disturbing ratio, rape or attack other women, whom do we blame ? Even when we have paedophiles creeping out of many corners, we refuse to find out, why ?

We choose to ignore all of it. Because we are men. We want women to serve us. Till the day we end up killing all of mankind, and all other women and children.


indianhomemaker said...

No words Kislay.
It's good see a guy seeing these things. This is bold and honest.

For example -
There is a certain percentage of women - who only men can interact with. They are not treated like citizens. No laws apply when a crime is committed against them.

'27. I want a certain percentage of the women, to be set aside, for my , and my fellow-men’s recreation. These women, will be treated the worst of all, because of what they practice. The sleep with men, for money.'

indianhomemaker said...

No words Kislay.
It's good see a guy seeing these things. This is bold and honest.

For example -
There is a certain percentage of women - who only men can interact with. They are not treated like citizens. No laws apply when a crime is committed against them.

'27. I want a certain percentage of the women, to be set aside, for my , and my fellow-men’s recreation. These women, will be treated the worst of all, because of what they practice. The sleep with men, for money.'

Indian Home Maker said...

And for all the talk of clothes protecting women or provoking men - rape victims can be male or young children also.

And there is 'bachcha baazi' in Afghanistan.

ramblingsbybones said...

Ah, Kislay, you will make your girlfriend/wife very happy...Not many men are sensitive to women as you are...

BK Chowla, said...

I suppose,unless we ensure education for all in the country, this problem in the society will remain.
There are women who are doing so well.Once one is economically independent,problems start disappearing.

Vetrimagal said...

So long as men like you are also raised, there is hope.
May your tribe increase.

apu said...

Excellent post. Kislay. Glad to see that it's not only women who are thinking about these issues.

Zivana said...

Bravo Kislay! If only more people could think this way..

Most of the men in India practice many of the points you mentioned. What's worse, this kind of society has also conditioned women to think that from the time they are born, they are a liability.

Just finish your biological purpose ( servicing the men and blessing them with sons) and leave.

It's not surprising then, that many women would think that if a man molested or raped them, it might be their fault somewhere.

Great post Kislay, good to see you back :)

Kislay said...


Thanks . I dread coming across such gruesome headlines while reading the paper. It disturbs the hell out of me . Shocking , that there is something called baccha baazi .

@Bones :) You are too kind . But you forget that I am a man as well . I know I will slip at times .

@ B K Chowla : What you say makes sense Sir . But there are certain areas , where even Education and economic prosperity has not helped much . Sexual discrimination at workplace, for instance .

Kislay said...

@Vetrimangal : Thanks . And welcome to my blog .

@Apu : Thanks Apu . One should think about what is going on with the other half .

@Zivana : Thanks Z . I was never gone . ;)

Shail said...

A telling post, Kislay.

Ritu said...

Oh wow! This coming from a man put me off balance! Hats of to you!

SS said...

That was very hard hitting. And so true! The stories about paedophiles is the worst. If you check Sunitha Krishnan's TechEd video, you'll know that girls as young as 3-4 years were trafficked and raped repeatedly by men. Spine chilling!

Kislay said...

@Shail - Thanks

@Ritu - I am a human first . At least I try to be . :) Thanks .

@SS - Welcome to my blog .

7 made me cringe . 3-4 ? I wonder what comes next .

Indyeah said...

Knowing you, not surprised that this came from you.

Surprised perhaps with the way you seem to have understood it all so effortlessly. Never thought it was possible for a guy to understand and write about it SO coherently.

My respect for you just went way up there.

The commodification of women is something that disgusts one and YET you see educated,urbane 'creative' people coming up with one idea after anotehr.

Amazing society we live na?

Cant tell you how good it is to see your words here.
Your blog has missed you friend.

And I too say..may your tribe increase.

R.D.B. said...

I always get amazed after reading your posts related to the issues of women ... Never seen such crisp and clear view coming from a male.
May ur tribe increase :)
I absolutely adore the way you write...

Chrysalis said...

Yesterday night I saw this ad on TV...on a desi channel in UK...scantily clad women dancing to some erotic tune singing "I Love Puree Heera Puree...For God's sake it was an ad for Tomato Puree.
I also saw one selling cement and it had a woman coming out of the water???????????
I am dismayed at the IPL cheerleading squad besides many other things.. I am worried my 3 year old daughter thanks to all the imagery and verbal, non-verbal imagery around her may feel it is vital to have a certain body type, correct clothes to fit in. She will think the more she scantily dresses, the more attractive and emancipated she will be. The more she gyrates and bumps and grinds to some senseless lyrics the more popular she will be. And what a let down it will be when at the end of the day she still is "wrong" or feels "empty and worthless".

Great piece Kislay. Well done yet again !

Kislay said...


Took me quite some to understand , to unlearn and to get rid of some of my prejudices . Its a life long process, cause I was born a man . Don't think too highly of me . :)


Thanks a lot . I am not sure whether this is your first visit , but still , Welcome .


Ahoy ! Welcome back . Cant express well enough how sick I am of the perpetual objectification .

heyithinkthisway said...

Hats Off Kislay..
I am overwhelmed to see a guy expressing such a view..
The post sounds very bold..

writerzblock said...

I can't tell you how much I loved this post. Kislay, you'll have women swooning over you for this post ;-) Just kidding. This was really brilliant. Hit the nail ON the damn head.
But what rankles is the fact that it is not just men who think this way, but women too, who believe the same crap, and ensure they mold their daughters and daughters-in-law into objects, while lividly denouncing any free thought. And I am not even talking about uneducated women. It is the middle aged women of today. Women of our immediate previous generation and the ones before, obviously, who are so narrow minded and cannot bear to see another woman actually living a more meaningful life.

Kislay said...

@Heyithikthisway and WritersBlock

Thanks a lot . :)

starry eyed said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! AWESOME post!!! Echoing everything the other commenters said!

Kislay said...

@Starry Eyed

Thanks :)