Saturday, August 29, 2009

My sentiments have been hurt

Christians in Ferozepur violently protest against the use of napkins with a Cross on it .

Hindu priests are mad at Vishal Bhardwaj , for in his latest movie Kaminey , there is scene in which "Apna haath jaganaath" is written on a door, with a picture of a scantily clad girl next to it . It hurt their religious sentiment .

My sentiments have been hurt as well

I would like a ban on Khuswant Singh and all his books, specially The Company of Women . Why ? How dare you ask me ? Is it not enough that he was written a story about a man who just doing it, left, right and center ? I mean, what about my culture ? Promoting promiscuity, is what it is. But if that is not good enough for you, I will give you one concrete reason. The name of the character, the guy who has sex with so many woman and ultimately dies of AIDS, is Mohan Kumar. You still don't get it ? . Mohan is one of the names of our Lord and Saviour, Shree Krishna. Khushwant Singh , has taken a shot at an avtaar of the Vishnu, the Preserver, and this is not acceptable under any circumstances. I want a ban ! My sentiments have been hurt! So what if I read the book 3 years ago ? It took me some time to realize that his book actually intended to hurt Hindu sentiments. But better late than never. So give me my ban, or else you know what happens.

And this was a teaser . What follows , is the movie .

I have decided to protest against all of humanity for desecrating two of my Gods , namely Vayu , the Lord of Winds and Varuna , the God of Oceans . Humanity , on a daily basis uses air and water , the way they want , and more often than not, they end up polluting it . We ingest air and water , we release it out of our system through the process of excretion , we spit , gargle and break wind . Our cars and our factories pollute. We pollute it when we smoke. We pollute when we are done with our morning ablutions. It is all so insulting and derogatory . It is desecration. It is absolute blasphemy . Therefore, I want a ban on the use of air and water , by humans . Every time, when I see some one wash his dirty hands with water, or hear some one burp loudly after a heavy meal, it makes my blood boil. My religious sentiments have been hurt, and I want this ban to be imposed asap..I am a citizen of secular and democratic republic, and justice can not be denied unto me. I rest my case . And mind you, I chose just two. If I had done my research properly, I am pretty sure the list would have been much longer.

By the way , my sentiments were NOT at all hurt when a 10 year old girl was beaten black and blue, and burned by a TV actress . I mean, who cares. Why the fuck should any one care ? Does it say anywhere in any holy book, explicitly , that “Soap opera stars can not hire 10 year old girls as maids and not hit them or burn them if they are caught eating” ? Does it ? Nope, I don't think so .

I know, I know. Another satire. But what can I do, when life around me appears as a big joke? I promise the next post will definitely not be a satire, unless, Behenji decides to have a swayamvar of her own.

p.s. Is there a God of Trees and WildLife in Hinduism ? Cause my religious sentiments have been hurt that way as well !


Mavin said... sorry if your sentiments have been hurt further because of my loud laughter...

You are so right. We should ban life itself. :-)

Kislay said...

This is just the tip of the ice berg . I could write a book on it . Is there a God of Trees and Wild Life in Hinduism ?

manju said...

You are now officially the King of Satires, Kislay!

BTW- Does anyone actually read anything by Khushwant Singh any more? :)

J P Joshi said...

Agree with the comment by Manju. You are very good at this. The issues that you have raised are also very relevant. It is evident that issues that can be used for politics are more important than issues that are definitely going to affect life on this planet in the not too distant future.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha...You rock at satire...Please keep your posts flowing!

BK Chowla said...

I know it hurts.But it is stupid.These are the people who are responsible for the religious problems we have amongst different group of people.
Best is to ignore them.They don't deserve attention.

Anonymous said...



yes yes... hurt sentiments!!!!

loads of it! for all the stupidest reasons....

we shud be worshiping Gods, but isn't a better form of worship to respect and be compassionate towards our fellow humans and other creatures we share this world with?


God of Trees and Wildlife!!!!

*from the bottom of my heart hugs*

Me too needs an answer to that Question Kislay! Me too!!!!

this was quite a read. Satire.... i can live my life on that...pliss to keep gping with it, okies?


Anonymous said...

Why stop there? Let's take it further. There should be a contest in India to see who can come up with an excuse to ban a film/book/independent thought/common sense first :P

Kislay said...

Thank you
Thank you
Thanks . But the next one can NOT be a satire . :)
@B K Chowla
They keep pulling off stunts like these to grab attention .
Thanks :) People are misinterpreting things at the drop of a hat .
Great Idea M . We can actually have a contest .

Anonymous said...

The Hindu Preists... never mind them...

i mean... i would like to give some real foul language to them... bah..

Kislay said...

I think anyone who tries to pull off stunts like these , "hurt sentiments at the drop of a hat" , needs a strong dose .

Charakan said...

Good post Satire Guru

A Girl from Timbuktu said...

Good satire :)

Also hindu priests really don't mind numerous mutthadheeshs (supposedly the highest authority of mutth) going around molesting young girls / boys, or minting money in the name of religion. Not to forget the dirty courtyards of numerous temples, where people stick bananas, laddus and gud (jaggery) on the mouth of diety (If you don't feed the deity directly, how can you be assured of the divine blessings...GODs remain hungry for these tidbits, and it becomes more appetizing when flies swarm on their faces).

Everything is fine in the 'name of religion'.

Anonymous said...

Hey I'm still thinking about a contest.What do you think would be the prize for such a catch? A special new quota? Fifteen minutes of fame in a reality show?

Pranoy said...

haha... well written indeed...hurt sentiments!!... if i had a rupee for every time sentiments were hurt... aahh! if wishes were horses...

Solilo said...

Now I am hurt too. Let us cry foul together. :)))))

Good one Kislay Don!


Kislay said...

@Charkan,Timbuktu Girl , Solilo
I don't know , something stupid I guess .

vimmuuu said...

You hurting my sentiments by not moving to wordpress !!! :D :D :D

sixtyfourarts said...

Vanaspati, I think is the god of wildlife. Literally, that's what it means.

Anonymous said...

I love this cause, my sentiments are hurt too!! I will join you Kislay, I am sure to find names of other deities used for all the numerous female characters :)

Loved this satire! Look forward to more of these :)

Anonymous said...

I am sorry, you have no right to demand that a book be banned for hurting your religious sentiments. Why? Because you have actually read the book.

The next time you want a book banned, don't read it. Just burn some property, assault some people, and the government will ban it.


Quirky Indian

Child Of Adam said...

we are rapidly evolving into quite an intolerant society man... sadly,dats also coz we depend too much on the religious heads and believe whatever they say... wonder whatever happened to the Human Reason!!

Anonymous said...

reminds me of that quote '' Where they burn books..they will also in the end burn human beings''

agree with MAnju's comment :D thats a hUGE resounding NO to MAnju's question as well :D:D

you know what galls me even more?the fact that the morons who seek to whip up a frenzy in the name of this imagined hurt caused by a book/movie/play/whatever are not even caught ..they are just left loose upon the populace to wreak whatever havoc they want..and within days..hell within hours!! one finds tensions climbing so high that this country reaches a boiling point!

This is why I always have a problem when governments sit like stupid moronic spectators and when idiots hijack creativity...
so where does the vicious circle stop?
thats the only question..
the day the law of the land holds firm..and governments do what they are supposed top DO no artist will EVER have to fear for his/her life..

till that day comes carry on debating the non existential hurt is all one can say in despair to idiots!!

Kislay? sLik member:) it feels good to be back in your world of satire my friend:)) really good:))

your wit was missed:)

Indyeah said...

also darn interested in knowing the reasons behind the tree wildlife thing :D:D
and who hurt your sentiments there now?:P

BTW saw the mail... thought will drop in asap and that will be response enough:D:D:P
now need to read the earlier one as well:) and long discussion on psychology:)))
keep smiling:)