Friday, August 7, 2009

The Death of My Childhood

Friends,
Bloggers ,
Countrymen ,
Countrywomen ,
in short , members of my blogging family

Of late , I have been busy working . No , I did not pick up my toilet and kitchen brush to clean the muck around us . That would require a lot more effort , and I will take a shot at it at a later stage in my life , God willing . To cut a long story , short , I was really working , and that is why , I have hardly replied to your comments . I have missed out on reading some of your posts . I have missed out on exchanging thoughts with you on some of your posts . The few that I have published , were written , long back , when I was not so busy . Thank God for that , at least my blog is not that stale . I almost didn't see the incredibly funny and imaginative posts Vimmu,OG , Solilo and the others came up with (Cross Border Terrorism and Sachai ka Saamna ) ! What I am trying to say is that , I get a little time to peek into the Blogosphere , but I will be back in full swing , soon . That is the hope . My apologies for not contributing to the blogging buzz . And this partial absence has taken a toll on me as well , for , All work and no blogging makes Kislay a dull jackass . I know I am a jackass , my friends and colleagues will surely agree with this one. :) But a tired and a dull one now , and my braying is minus the zest it usually has . I am learning to live life , and how to be an adult , who has to balance work , and life apart from work . And as a member of the IT Industry , I know it won't be easy . But I am trying .

A few weeks ago , I , Kislay Chandra , all of 25 years and a few months old , suddenly realized that my childhood is over . Yes . I know . It took me 25 , instead of your normal 15 to 20 . But then, that is how I am . For me , it was still going on , till I was struck by the thunderbolt of realization, that I cried a little bit , in private. Of course , the child in me is not dead yet. I still hog chocolates , fight for ice cream , jump and shout like a kid , hop around in my home in a vest and old shorts, air guitar like a loon when I listen to rock and try to sing as well, do bakar(a derogatory term for fooling around , doing nothing , but talking,laughing and pulling your friend's legs as hard as you can )as if my friends and I were still in College. Inside , I am still a kid . As they say , the difference between a boy and a man , is the price of his toy . The carefree child in me comes out , plays with his new toys, bikes, cell phones and videogames, the latest being a blender , which I use to make different kinds of shakes and stuff :) ,but not that often. I guess that is how it works . This is what growing up must be all about . Trying to make more money , and discovering new ways to save taxes , rather than coming up with new ways to spend it . I guess that is why childhood is such an innocent and pure stage, you get joy out of things so trivial, insignificant and ordinary, that it cannot but baffle most adults. For me, the death of a person is not the day when he or she breathes the last, it is the day when the child in you , the last bit of pristine is gone.

When I was a kid , my grandfather explained to me the concept of pooja or aradhana . There is the ritualistic version , the meditative way and the one where you try to connect with the Almighty by serving others selflessly. And then , there is your work . He said , and very explicitly , that "if you do your work , with the utmost sincerity and devotion, you need not visit a temple , or offer flowers and burn incense sticks in front of the many forms of God that we bow to" . I knew that all along, but never really did it . I am trying to do it now. And every prayer I offer , ends with a request for subuddhi and shakti to do my work as it should be done .

That was my short story , about me . I am a little down , cause I am still not used to a lot of work , but I will be up soon , as it becomes a habit . And I may be down, but I am never out. Mean while , you keep blogging .


“In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play” - Friedrich Nietzsche

“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.” - Walt Streightiff

“When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood” - Sam Ewing

“When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell. That is why we dread children, even if we love them, they show us the state of our decay.” - Brian W. Aldiss


p.s. It was 2 AM . I had just come out of my office building . The cool breeze was reinvigorating . And that gave me an idea for - Elixir . :)

14 comments:

Vinod_Sharma said...

The death of childhood is effectively the death of man. I am many, many years your elder. But, sometimes you may find that hard to believe!

Grow, but not old. Work, but forget not play. Get serious, but forget not the innocent fun that you feel when the child inside you speaks.

You don't want to become that adult "corpse" that Aldiss has spoken so profoundly about. If you so love the child in you, you can keep him alive...at least till you get married, for then a lot will depend on the state of the child living in your life mates heart!

craftyshines said...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{super tight hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

We don’t have to grow up kislay, our child in us too can live. I know, we gotta hold of our lives, I so agree with that….

Kislay……. U just described….well …
super tight hugs kislay!!!! I was in same place few weeks back, my reason to take a sabbatical….
Ok….wanna say…..but not here, will mail u okies?

I hope the child in u smiles and jumps very soon……till then, u got us here na?

Don’t be lonely ever!

Luvya!!!

vimmuuu said...

Ok, we forgive you and thats only because you wrote such a sweet post (no satires for a change :D )

I know, whats the point in growing up if you cant be childish sometimes? (ok, thats another quote, in our case, it should be childish most of the times :D :D)

Winnie the poohi said...

Childhood never dies. It lies in dormancy .. If you observe old ppl.. they are like children.. so childhood visits us when we have no other responsibility. Wait for that :-)

insanityincorporated said...

I have been having almost similar thoughts lately..you have echoed my thoughts completely..

p.s. don't ever let the child in you die...keep it alive forever..

Saima

destinationinfinity said...

I agree with Vinodji :-) I liked your point on making money without being able to spend it for any useful purpose. It is an irony, that we do so much to make money but plan absolutely nothing when it comes to spending it! Spending money is also a skill and an art, which we need to dedicate time to ;-)

Destination Infinity

manju said...

Childhood never has to end, Kislay. Childhood doesn't only mean eating chocolates and hopping around.

Childhood means getting up in the morning and looking at the world with wonder. It means not getting jaded.

It means feeling indignant when you see an injustice. It means not losing hope.

From what I know of you through your posts, Kislay, I don't think you need to worry. The child in you can never die.

Solilo said...

Kislay, Cheer up buddy! it's okay to be busy. We all are here. What are friends for? We wait for our friends to be free. :D

As for childhood ending. It never does. We mature...we change. We have to but the child in us stays somewhere inside us. That is what keep our innocence alive.

ramblingsbybones said...

Kislay, childhood never ends - it's in your mind...If you think you are old, you will feel old so cheer up!

Thanks for taking that site off...As you can, now I can read your posts...

indianhomemaker said...

Stay a child Kisaly though I don't think adults are corpses...


I read some of the comments above and what a heart warming bunch of wonderful blogging friends you have Kislay, you can never grow really old no matter how hard you work or how expensive your toys become, they will drag you right back to your childhood!

indyeahforever said...

Of course , the child in me is not dead yet. I still hog chocolates , fight for ice cream , jump and shout like a kid , hop around in my home in a vest and old shorts, air guitar like a loon when I listen to rock and try to sing as well, do bakar(a derogatory term for fooling around , doing nothing , but talking,laughing and pulling your friend's legs as hard as you can )as if my friends and I were still in College. Inside , I am still a kid . As they say , the difference between a boy and a man , is the price of his toy . The carefree child in me comes out , plays with his new toys, bikes, cell phones and videogames, the latest being a blender , which I use to make different kinds of shakes and stuff :) ,but not that often.
there is hope yet then:))))

for, some have forgotten even this:))


you had written about your grandfather earlier too:) you remember him with a lot of fondness:)

And every prayer I offer , ends with a request for subuddhi and shakti to do my work as it should be done .
what else is belief and prayers but this?:)

I like this definition(I just made it a definition:D)


the quotes you have shared?
beautiful!


“When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood” - Sam Ewing

And someday I want to write about it too:)of how I went back and the house still stood but so much had changed..mainly me...

“When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell. That is why we dread children, even if we love them, they show us the state of our decay.” - Brian W. Aldiss

this was scary to read...frightening...yes it is like this..and somehow a few lucky ones..fortunate few escape this fate...


you will come out of this soon:)
you cant stay bogged down for long..I know:)))

take care:) and keep that smile in place:))

signing off
yours truly
a member of THE SlIK ;)))

writerzblock said...

That was such a sweet post. Indeed, gone are the days of innocence and childhood. Gone is the carefree life we revelled in! Today life is about work and responsibilities (and yeah, swine flu!). Still, life is beautiful!!
Hoping to have you back on blog-o-track soon :-)
Blogrolling ya :-)

Anrosh said...

if the child in you dies you are dead ..

Next time when a politican takes a press conference, the questions should be asked by the kids --

destinationinfinity said...

The last quote is just too good! But in a sense, it is good that we come out of our illusion and face what is, the real world! Instead of learning in class rooms, we actually learn outside.

Destination Infinity