Saturday, June 27, 2009

Jilted Lovers II

Ladies and Gentle Bloggers , Jilted Lovers is back , courtesy some of my female friends . I must say , had I been at the receiving end of these incredible messages , I would have considered castration or a sex change operation .

Lower your IQ , loosen you belt , and laugh out loud ! My comments in italics . :)


hiiii...can be frndzzz do cre to rply...!!!

This guy appears as: I WaNt 2 C MiNe DeATh CerTiFiCaTe:) . I think he needs to see a certificate assuring us of his sound mental health .

Hiii... i i m also a student in gzb. may v frenzzz...

If only all single and desperate to mingle B.Tech students from the IIT's and the NIT's could use this , life would would be a lot rosier for them .

Hi may i frndshp with u

First you mental-checkup-with-loony-doctor .

hi im .. jst cmpltd Msc, wrking fr a s/w cmpny jst saw ur profile yar its interesting... wanna hav friendship with u.. if willing pl reply...

Screw you , I no longer "do friendship" with Software Engineers . Your market value has crashed . Contact me after 2014 , when the Recession is over .

Hi.i cant ask u to b my frend as u know nothing about me.but wud like to talk to u if u dnt mind as i m also frm aligarh n now working in bangalore

I can be a fiend to you , and to all the other losers from Loony-garh working in Bangalore .

well about me i m n i m from Lucknow and and and i have done my Mass Comm from Aligarh Muslim University and i stay at Bangalore and i like mind
ice-cream with cery and i love my cat, and bla bla bla and n urs like n dislike...! n u r college

He likes “mind ice-cream with cery” ! Very scary . Any relation to Dr. Hannibal Lecter ? And how did he end up at AMU ? He did not learn to communicate with a single person , leave alone the masses . He sounds like a total jackass to me . I wish he gets hired by NDTV or CNN-IBN .

This is Chandan ..Working in Air Force...Looking 4 a Sweet friend...So if u wana interested to fly on the wings of friendship Wid me.....get ready den...I am
ready to take off now......

If you friendship is anything like the MiG's , fly solo .

Very soon, i will at bangalore............

You will what , crash land ?

plz do reply ..Waiting for ur positive response...bye...take care

Here is my response > + respone ! :P

This the gem , the master piece , the best and the brightest of the lot -

never think dat i m d type of guy(like oders)who likes 2 talk 2 every gal only bcoz of d reason dat she is a gal....i realy respect gud gals a lot..but today
most of d gals do not understand d diference b/w becoming a modern gal n a vulgar if u r a gud gal den u r most welcome..if not, den stay away 4m
me as i just cant tolerate such shameless gals..(so such gals... dnt send me a frend wil never b accepted) only dose gals(strangers) wil b
geting frend request from my side who seems 2 b gud....dont take me in wrong way....i know how 2 behave wid gals..but 1st become such dat i feel proud 2 say
dat i have a frend who deserves 2 b call a GIRL. now ur wish.......sorry if i hurt anyone....(i know most of d gals wnt like al dis n wil not talk 2 me bcoz
of al dat stuff writen dere....but i also know wat type of gals dose wud it dnst effect i realy luv being hated by such gals..)

Boy oh Boy ! I am stumped . His audacity ! The stink of MCP-ness coming from him . He loves to be hated by "vulgar gals" . He wants "good gals" in his good books, so that he can be proud of them . Is he a member of the SRS ? I think the PCC should be re-launched just to smother him with pink panties .

hiiiiii can u add me ass frdf????????????

How honest of him ! He accepts that he is an ass . "me - ass" !


""friendly 4u"" (

He is friendly . He is sexy . And the extra i's in his Hi account for the number of incompetent idiots he is worth . The number of exclamation marks are the
number of times he was hit on the head with a big fat stick , by some well wisher of his , to knock some sense into him . Did it help ?

"can't we be frnds kya yaar plzz do let me know abut this plzzz

hi hw r u doing?hey can't we be frnds yaar plzz do reply me........will wait for ur reply.

hi hw r u doing?????????can we be frnds????????"

He had been poisoned . The anti-dote to the poison is a chemical called stupidomorphin , which is released when he sends friend requests to random girls . The more loserish he sounds , the more chemicals his body secretes , the longer he lives . Inspired from Crank .

hi n orkut.......welcum buddy...........!!!!!!!!!!!!

His handle was PJ . He has been appointed as the HR/PR/Liaison officer for Orkut , to welcome new members and make them feel welcome . It would be shame of
somebody was friendless even after joining a social networking website , wouldn't it ?

serial kisser - photography is my passion

Yes , his handle is serial kisser ! Need I say more ?

hi friend how r u aur batao kaisi ho aur kya kar rahi ho

Your friend is cursing the day she decided to join this particular social networking website .

hiiiiiiiiii can we be friends

This message was sent by “i am alone... want to be alone”. He is alone , no surprises there . And he wants to be alone, then why does he need friends ?

The Hot chocolate boy

He thinks his handle makes him hot and a boy with chocolatey looks . I think it can also mean a hot chocolate – boy , bole to , one who serves or sells hot chocolate . I bet he didn't think of that .

can v b afrnd?

No comments here

When you are feeling all alone Down-hearted, sad and blue,And you think that there's just no one

Actually , I thought there are no more fools like you , the Universe must have run out of your kind . But I was wrong . And that is why I am blue, sad and down hearted . Alone , waiting for intelligent life on Orkut .


Anonymous said...

ROFL! Are these messages in Orkut? Its amazing! How did you get hold of there :) Truly inspiring I must say - inspires me to avoid Orkut :)

You know, I have had no requests like this! I'm feeling all left out :)

The heights was that MCP fellow! He does have the cheek! Good gals indeed!

ritu said...

he he heeee...:)))) ho ho hoooo..
quite a research and analysis kislay...

Anonymous said...

Kislay, I am laughing out so loud. Hahahahahahahahaha

Gosh! people have so much time for fraaaaaaaaaandships. The weird requests. :))))))

Ordinary Guy said...

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! classic dude classic............

Thank god, I was born an indian male..... :P
so I have not had any "franndship" requests so far :P


Anonymous said...


mee tooo... since I am an Indian male... I have no friends requests either... lol... !!!!

Winnie the poohi said...


Sadly Orky has become too boring. not even such perky scraps worth logging around! :)

Anonymous said...

Kislay, I don't know whether to cry or laugh...These messages are probably the sleaziest I've ever read..."I want to be your friend" is the probably the sleaziest line in the world...Are they from Orkut?

Anonymous said...

Gish this is such entertainment!!! I find the GEM most interesting, he is so mixed up he is worth many blog posts!!

I once was watching a Kiran Kher show on what kind of girls boys like and there was this very guy who did not want a very intelligent wife because she might 'try to dominate him'... Kiron Kher tried to reason with him that an intelligent girl would generally be smart enough not to try to dominate but look for a balanced relationship, bit no way was he convinced, in irritation she asked him if he would like to marry a girl who was mentally challenged. I feel most of these boys are just mixed up... sad for them.
Loved these gems and loved your response lol :)

Anonymous said...

LOL..this is absolutely hilarious...had to wipe off my tears of laughter from the keyboard!! are some of the cheesy ones :)

I m also new, so ........................ friend,

i m frm delhi, ...
am i able 2 become ur frnd ?
1 more thng dat i ws also passed out frm ***** university...
hope u r also ?

hi !!!!!!!!!!!
i just go through ur profile and find it interesting !!!!!
i want to mingle up with u but before that i want friendship with u n relationship develop its own!!!!!
just go through my profile if u think its ok just reply me plz
i m waiting!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...


my fav has to be this simply because of your response :D
Hi may i frndshp with u

First you mental-checkup-with-loony-doctor

LOL!!! simple and to the point! :D

your responses made it so hilarious!!! :D
and one that I received recently and that I shared with you:D

''I wish slavery had not been abolished cuz I would have been your slave''


I let that request stay for at least a week just so I could log in every time and laugh like a loon :D :D

my status was single on my prof..which led to some VERY (VERY!!) bizzare fraandship requests..
so changed it to committed which led to some VERY interesting questions from friends..

now its nothing..
blank..go figure it out..either way I am sick of fraandhips and fraandship wallahs.

PS:- sorry...powercut yesterday in the middle of a laughter fest here while reading this post :D:D

Anonymous said...

random guy: Hi may i frndshp with u
kislay: First you mental-checkup-with-loony-doctor
crafty: fell off chair laughing

good-gal obssesed guy: so if u r a gud gal den u r most welcome..if not, den stay away 4m
me as i just cant tolerate such shameless gals
kislay: Boy oh Boy ! I am stumped
crafty: so so wants to be friends with him, but since he doesn't want bad gals.....sheesh....must fight temptation....gotta keep hands off him.....

*crafty loves her new perfume...Death by Sarcasm* :P

hey kislay....those extra exclamations *crafty looking very uncomfortable* does them all the time :|
*crafty looks around for hiding place*

Kislay: This message was sent by “i am alone... want to be alone”. He is alone , no surprises there . And he wants to be alone, then why does he need friends ?

Crafty: didn't get off the floor for this reason...will roll some more!

tee hee kislay!!!! what a read! :D :D

MaxX said...

hahaha!...dude! word...BRILLIANT!.... 'nuff said!

Anonymous said...

kizlay, wl u plz b my frand....!!!!!!
i think u r 2 funy!!!!!!!!


vimmuuu said...

ROFL!!! I have seen worst in orkut; fortunately not for me! Will send you some when I find them; you should continue this series. LOL. Read both the parts and was carefully looking if at all there were any of my pick up lines. LOL ! Ok, Im kidding. plssss, I have better things to do than finding 'good gals' in orkut !!

Good one buddy, keep 'em coming !

Pinku said...

OH my God...

that was amazing...

Chrysalis said...

Stupidomorphin....LOL I think it releases instantly and into your bloodstream when these 'chippad' guys open account in Orkut..LOL too good Kislay!
I too have seen it all from wanting to be friends becoz of same hometowns to similar professions to simply because "you look hot baby"!!!!!The married status too does not seem to deter these persuasive high on 'stupidomorphin' weirdos.

Pranoy said...

ROFL!! awesome man.... shows the world what orkut has been reduced to.... the world's largest database of idiots! cant wait for part trois!