Great Indian Leader

This a short story, inspired by Wag the Dog and the brouhaha over Obama's victory , followed by the quest for and debates over an Indian Obama. This is a figment of my twisted imagination , the seed was sown years ago, but it bore fruit now .

About the movie – It is based on 'American Hero', a 1993 satirical conspiracy theory novel written by Larry Beinhart . It speculated that Operation DESERT STORM had been scripted and choreographed as a ploy to get George H.W. Bush reelected to a second term (taking their cues from Margaret Thatcher's similar invasion of the Falkland Islands), while at the same time analyzing exactly why that conflict had been so popular. Starring Robert De Niro and Dustin Hoffman, the movie is about a Washington spin doctor who distracts the electorate from a U.S. presidential sex scandal by hiring a Hollywood producer, played by Dustin Hoffman, to construct a fake war with Albania. The scheme enlists the musician Willie Nelson (who creates a theme song for the 'war').
( Source – Wikipedia)

Wag the dog - To cause a desired result by means other than the obvious or rational method. Imagine you want a dog to wag it's tail. You should make the dog happy, and the tail will wag. If you can't or won't make the dog happy, you can get the tail to wag by "wagging the dog".

“When the college saw that black students were failing Calculus at a disproportionately high rate to their enrollment, they decided to wag the dog by making the tests less difficult.”

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Great Indian Leader

With the aid of a media , how a man of moderate charisma and mediocre talents, as selfish and self-absorbed as the average person, was turned into a magnanimous and magnificent human , a Great Indian Leader . It started of as a bold and imaginative experiment , how a chosen candidate , who had all the right credentials and appearances , was decided upon by the Council to be projected as the next Great Indian Leader . They had nothing to lose if this venture failed , for they would go back to their old barbaric ways, fighting like dogs for votes. This Council comprised not only politicians of the same party , but rather included all the major ones , those who could sway the masses and effectively divide and rule. This may sound strange, but up there, it did not matter who ruled or who did not , they all wielded power and were beyond the rules of a democratic system. They had enough of infighting and fighting amongst each other . It was unanimously decided that the autocracy, anarchy, monarchy and dynasticism that had crept into their system must go . A common goal was agreed upon, a unified vision projected; to introduce an internal democracy. A new constitution which treated each politician equally , which bestowed upon them the right , to share the fruits of the exploit of the masses in proportion of political experience, seniority and the size of the vote bank they controlled . A democracy which would ensure the safety,longevity and security of their lives and political careers, and of their children as well, so that they could go on sucking the blood and life of the populace. The time had come for them to coalesce as a single political unit, driven by their mutual lust for power, they had to evolve for their survival. And the first stage of this process, was this elaborate scheme, a political and sociological experiment . Thus began 'Operation Bharat' . The irony of the name does not do unnoticed.

After an intensive and exhaustive research , after rejecting saffron , green and white candidates , they decided upon one who had none of these, no colour of his own, no personal ideology . They decided to camouflage him so , that to one it would appear saffron , to another green . And some also might see in him , a shade of red . His character was given a design , a diabolical and a genius one . His words and actions were so brilliantly crafted . They had a team of self-styled analysts and 'omniscient' experts to defend his every aspect , who, though professed and preached very differently , yet were on the payroll of the council . They argued and counter argued over whether he was secular or communal , liberal or authoritarian , but in the end they all concurred on his national character , as an agreed upon concession . They created a beautiful multi-hued haze through deception,obfuscation and inveigling, which kept the masses fooled and misled ; while the truth lay hidden comfortably behind the smoke screen . The objective was not at all simple , it was intricate and involved many variables ; to keep the public fooled enough so that they never see him for what he really was , a good-looking and fluent-speaking non-entity , with no flair or flamboyance , no charisma , in fact , nothing extraordinary, and a willing puppet . Through clever campaigning and media management , they made that dog wag* , rather than the tail . His meticulously planned moves ensured that he was in the right place and among right people, at the right time . His popularity was surging , he was headed the right way . He appeared as a messiah for all of them. Suddenly , after a very long time, the people of this land were united , and backed one man , their new Great Indian Leader . It was not as if a few did not see through this mother of all lies, this gigantic farce , but then what can a David do to a hundred Goliaths . The few that rose against them were crushed , their names and reputations destroyed , and they did not hesitate from resorting to brute force, if and when their other methods failed. By hook and by crook , they eliminated their enemies and the rebels. Gradually, they built this seemingly benign Frankenstein, with larger-than-life pieces.

Their Experiment had passed all the tests , now was the time for the acid one , and the strategy employed was unique . Although the GIL was the brainchild of the Council, they decided to launch a political offensive against him , as they would have done against a genuine political opponent .The parties of the council other than the one which fielded this candidate, declared war against him. There was a rhyme and reason behind it. For their efforts to bear fruition, even this impostor had to survive the harshest , had to temper himself in the hell-fire that is the Indian Election , learn how to dance, and make others as well, to the tune of this vibrating democracy. They had never hoped that this would go on forever , but they wanted it to last long enough , to enjoy undisputed , unchallenged power till they possibly could. They were pragmatic realists , and knew greater truths and wisdom than the lies they usually preached and the venom they occasionally spewed . This was the ultimate challenge ,the final hurdle the GIL had to jump , the crux of the entire masquerade . Political Alliances can barely make 5 years , charismatic leaders have made 10 ; if they managed to guarantee even a 15 or 20 year rule , they would be on cloud nine with a rainbow around their shoulders , for a while.

And as it has always happened for this nation , it went the other way . He won . It was a juggernaut. Calling it a landslide would not suffice at all. A single party government , with an overwhelming majority of 400 plus . He was in , and had immortalized himself in the annals of History. The greatest heist of all times had been pulled off, with such suaveness and sophistication, that it would not be even known as one, for a very long time. And considering an average depreciation of a loss of 10% of the seats every year , he had a theoretical shelf life of 25 years . Power breeds power, and the council was confident of stretching this when the time came. After all , they knew all the tricks of this trade. Short of a direct divine intervention, life would be a bed of roses for them, with the occasional thorn .


Politicians - 1 . One fifth of the Humanity - 0 . May be this what the Kali yuga is all about .

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Please feel free to criticize my attempt . And to get back in a lighter mood , read this absolutely KICKASS comical post , News at Nine , by mere azeez dost , Child_of_Adam .It is an awesome read .