The Footballer and The Physicist

A Physicist explaining football to his son

"It is a very interesting game son . Specially from the point of classical mechanics . 22 Human bodies and 1 spherical object, in a system , not to mention , the supposedly neutral entities called the referees . So many different variables . The speed of the wind, the moisture content, the sound energy disseminated by the cheering fans, what an incredibly dynamic and chaotic system. And amidst all this, the genius of football , the men chasing down a ball , which , to be at the precise moment, has to be in a trajectory towards the goal, such that the paths of the two bodies involved in 3 dimensional motion , namely the goalie and the ball, do not intersect each other, and the goal gets home. It is such marvelous sight, the ball entering the goal in an environment having so many different, dynamic and some times totally independent variables.If you look at it mathematically, the probability that a goal occurs, when you take into account the number of different mutually inclusive and exclusive events, is astounding . That is why my son, Football kicks ass . Everything fits together with such precision . It is an absolute delight for the senses of an individual with a logical and analytical brain , and a keen observation . It is a drug for the brain , the way it makes my brain throb with joy , my child ."

A footballer explaining football to his son

"It is magic my boy . The feel of wind in your face . The roar of the fans . The smell of sweat and dust . The touch of leather against your skin . The clashing bodies . The adrenaline rush . The blood, the crash and the thump . The high of a goal . And the low of a miss . It is almost pulsating with its own life . And at the end of the day, as you strut around the arena like a modern day gladiator , with your opponents bowing, and your fans and team-mates howling with joy, almost orgasmic , it is one of the most wonderful experiences . Every important win and loss, is a triumph of your spirit over life or losing a bit of yourself . It is heavenly, and extremely intoxicating. The best high you can ever get . It is so pure,pristine and beautiful . It is a drug for the heart, the way it makes it soar with joy , son ."


This is how I perceive two people, a footballer and a physicist might explain the game of football to their :
- son
- daughter
- randomStrangerWhoMightExpressInterestInFootball

Two very different perspectives .

And now replace physicists and footballers with Theists/Atheists/Priests/Rabbis/Scientists/Preachers of Different Faiths. And football would be God,the omnipresent,omniscient,omnipotent, entity, the parody of which is the flying_spaghetti_monster , the white bearded gentleman with a big booming voice wearing white robes and a staff of Gold, Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty, the Universal Spirit , the Guy some think is not there , the Guy some think is there but not listening , the Guy whom you guys think wants you to fight over whose way of dialing the Guys number is the best , the Guy who could actually be a Gal OR the Guy who is neither a Guy or a Gal but beyond the triviality of names,images,forms and sex, and yet you still make a big deal of it .

How crazy does it really sound ?