Orange

Who is a Mother ?

2011-11-25T17:02:00.001+05:30

I think Motherhood is NOT the defining feature of Womanhood, but one of the many defining features. But who is a Mother? Is she a woman who gave birth to a child, and then raised it? Yes, if you go by how a dictionary defines her. But something as great as motherhood should not be constrained by the biological act of giving birth, however noble and painful it maybe. A mother is a woman who offers love that is pure as it can ever be and that comes from the spring of her soul. A mother is the one who sacrifices very selflessly and very willingly. A mother nurtures Life, like nothing else does. But, it is not just the child that she bore which brings out the Mother in a woman. The object of her love can be anyone, her child, a child, a friend , a family member, even a complete stranger. It could quite possibly be a dog, a cat, or any other pet, or even an idea or a belief. What makes her a Mother is the way she loves what she loves. That, I believe is Motherhood. And women start being mothers from a very early age, don't they?

p.s. And this, is my hundredth post :)

Becoming Superhuman

2011-10-03T09:49:00.000+05:30

"Of all the superheroes in popular culture, I’ve always been most drawn to Batman. While many superheroes come by their superpowers through genetic blessing or freakish accident, Batman is a regular guy who gained his superhuman abilities on his own. He studied science, perfected his body, sharpened his mind and powers of deduction, and utilized technology. He became superhuman through his own effort, adding to his powers element by element"

Seriously. Batman is SO possible.

The Whole Man

Becoming superhuman involves reaching for ever greater heights in all areas of our lives: physical, mental, moral, and spiritual.

The average man spends his days as a sedentary lump; the superhuman man strives to keep himself in peak physical condition.

The average man rarely cracks open a book after college; the superhuman man is dedicated to lifelong learning, constantly feeding his mind with books, magazines, and newspapers and studying a wide variety of topics.

The average man cheats and fudges here and there; the superhuman man makes his word his bond and lives every day with integrity.

The average man is content with surface pleasures and material goods; the superhuman man explores the greater depths of life through meditation or prayer.

Well, the author defined superhuman-ness for a Man . It is my unequivocal belief that this is what a Superman is, and more importantly, through persistence and determination, we can get closer to it every day. Now, Let me define superhuman-ness for a Woman in a different way, albeit what the author says is applicable in its entirety to women as well.

The average woman is NOT a feminist . The Superwoman fights for her soul's right to breathe relentlessly, tirelessly and fearlessly.

The average women rarely questions why Men are so hell bent upon controlling her, why Societal traditions mostly favor men and why is she perceived more as an object and less as a human . The Superwoman is hell bent upon annihilating anything and everything that challenges her right to be a free and independent spirit .

The average women adjusts, and compromises and builds up her endurance for abuse . The Superwoman fights , ferociously . Whether it is mental or physical, the battles are long-drawn-out, hard and courageously won by her.

The average woman lets some spineless, worthless, pseudo-masculine and inherently insecure excuse for a man dominate her. The Superwoman is indomitable.

The average woman probably does not know what balls are . In all likelihood, she has been taught that sex is sinful( unless she gets married ), and that her body should be cloaked modestly because - If an extremely horny man is turned on by looking at her anterior or posterior and decides to molest/rape her, she would be tainted and forever held responsible because she, in the first place should have magically transformed into an ugly, toothless,stinking man before the red-blooded men had a chance to lust at her.

The Superwoman knows what balls are, and how they can be used as a terrific weapon, against men, bringing down the most masculine and mightiest of them on their knees withing seconds. She also knows that sex is neither sinful nor unnatural, but rather a genuine need which is to be take care of by her in the way she deems fit. And most importantly, she is never ever ashamed of her body, of the way she has been designed by Mother Nature, of the way she talks or walks, and she knows that it is her and her curvaceous body alone, which cradles Life .

The average woman is content to play the roles that the Society imposes upon her. She willingly believes in the virtues of marriage, virginity, motherhood, superiority of males and her own subservience to them . She never questions why she is supposed to be NOT good at Mathematics, Driving or Technology . She favors a life of cloaked security over open rebellion . And she gives beauty much more , than is due to it .

The Superwoman is openly defiant and rebellious. She is exceedingly difficult to handle or to control, as a child, as a wife, as a sister, a daughter, an employee or as a citizen. She is demanding and vehemently outspoken . She is a die hard feminist. She knows she not inferior to any damn one . She has a beautiful and brilliant mind, and is the master of her own body. She is great at what she wants to be good at. She immensely values the beauty of the mind and the soul ,a lot more than the beauty that is merely skin deep. She loses her virginity because it is her's, in the first place. She marries because she needs a Life partner. She is not vessel for harvesting some capon's seed ! She is a mother because she is so full of Love and affection, that it cannot but manifest into a pristine and lovely child . The Superwoman kicks ass ! The Superwoman lives her Life .

The Superwoman and the Superman, complement each other, make one complete whole . They constitute Life .

p.s. The word average here does not imply that most women behave or act that way. Rather, it is just a way to represent the norm, which can be observed in many instances .

The source of the content in italics : Becoming superhuman in 2011

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels ......

2011-08-26T16:51:00.002+05:30

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify and vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as crazy, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” ( Think Different, Apple)

Anna Hazare, and his A team ,are one such bunch of crazies .And if they fail, they will be the first to acknowledge that, and the first to stand up again, and fight some more. It is easy for some of us to dismiss them. For it is not easy to believe in something to extent, that you are willing to take a Government head on, and fast for so many days. But then, to believe in something that badly, is as good as being mad. That is why, the rest of us have labeled ourselves sane. That is precisely why a Bhagat Singh, a Bose or a Gandhi is not born everyday .

Long live the Revolutionary !

Forsaken Childhood

2011-06-14T12:30:00.000+05:30

It was not God forsaken, to tell you the truth. It was fine, in most respects. Quite a few ups, a few downs, it was a roller coaster ride I thoroughly enjoyed. When it got over, I saw this child striving to be a man, who turned out to be fine though. He is not a perverted, self centered, sadistic and chauvinistic pig, but rather a decent and generously flawed human being. I am very grateful for that. But, for many years, I could not remember the child I was. The recollection was hazy at best. That pained me a lot. You should never ever forget the child you were. You should never let those memories fade away. If you can't relive a few moments from your childhood, if you can't be that kid again, even for a few fleeting moments, you lose a part of yourself. And the process of regaining that lost part is very long, arduous, excruciatingly painful, and at times, insurmountable. But it is worth every wail and every tear. Every bit of that anguish is worth it. Reclaiming my childhood has healed me, incredibly inspired me, and made me whole again. There are still many a gaping holes. Many bridges need to be built again. But I have the blue print, the gist of it. I had forgotten who I was. I did not believe. Rather, I refused to believe. But, slowly and steadily, it is all coming back. Like a giant jigsaw puzzle getting the most important chunks. The mist lifts, with each day. The journey of rediscovery is an absolute delight. To restore the never-say-die spirit, when the fight was worth it. To be possessed by the exuberance. To be happy for the tiniest of reasons. To be insatiably curious and ever bright eyed. Again. Forever.

I am going to be who I was was. I am reclaiming my forsaken childhood. I will be damned, if I don't.

"When I was a child, I was a superman. Now, I am just a man"

p.s The title of the post, is a book bearing the same name, written by a great and tireless soul, a close friend of mine and one of the best human beings I have ever known.

Gadhnier Fultooskis

2011-06-10T18:41:00.000+05:30

Gadhnier Fultooskis :- Gone are the days when we could spare a moment to oil our hair. Or shampoo it. Or use a conditioner. Or soap our bodies while showering. Or brush our teeth. Or use mouthwash . Or a moisturizer . Or apply fariness creams. Life has become so hectic, that we barely have time to do one, leave alone the rest. With this in mind, the legendary Gadhnier have come up with the new and improved, all in one, Fultooskis . All one needs to do, is pour one cap full of it over one's head. And then, magic happens. The super charged nanomites contained in this fine product take care of you, from scalp to sole, and that too in a few seconds.Cleaning, massaging, oiling, shampooing, fairnessing, brushing, washing, and moisturizing every thing. Literally. So throw out the dozen or so bottles of junk on your shelf , and bring home the Fultooskis . Take care .

How to be a Rockstar

2011-05-13T23:44:00.000+05:30

Get some pain .
Its all around you .
Feel it . Breath it .
Let it seep through your body .
Suffer . Be miserable .
In a state of mental anguish .
Wail , if you can .
Scream . Rant . Whine .
The monkey chatters too much ?
Then tug hard at the reins .
Smoke . Smoke up . Get drunk .
Fight the pain .
Fight it with all your might .
Then give up .
Try and live with it .
Pull out your hair .
Sob like a child .
Inhale . Snort . Inject .
Deject . And reject .
Fight some more .
Doesn't work ?
Re strategize .
Wallow in the misery of others .
At least, give it a try.
Learn to exploit .
To cheat . To connive .
To survive . To thrive .
Get some religion .
Or a new age vibe .
Talk to Him . Pray to Him .
Curse Him . Blame Him .
Then Seek forgiveness .
Slash your wrists .
Or think about it , at least .
Its unbearable, right ?
Then take a deep breath .
And as you exhale ,
See through the fine mist ,
Of bull shit and lies .
Do you hear the cacophony ?
Of hypocrites and fakers .
There could be an epiphany .
Or just a shallow surmise .
Do remember ,
That the pain won't go away, ever .
But now , when it gushes through ,
Realize . And channelize .

The Little Boy is dead

2011-04-27T19:17:00.000+05:30

The Little Boy is dead
He died a slow and horrible death
Choked on his own tears
Gasping for freedom
Drowned in his fears
Craving for fun
He was forced to run
He ran, but got astray
Where to go? Which way?
The path he chose was his own
But it wouldn't get him there, they said

Grow up, they said, and run that way
Look at his shiny car, bright and red
And she bought a bungalow with 17 beds
Measure your worth, compared to theirs
Run, run faster, run harder
And find a good stead
Keep running, till there is no one in sight
Keep running, because there is no end
Keep running, till there is no one behind or ahead

But he couldn't live that way
So the Little Boy killed himself
He strangled himself with a noose
Made of dead and dried up dreams
But he wasn't buried or cremated
Now, his corpse runs the race instead

Bhaartiya Naari

2011-03-10T21:23:00.000+05:30

It is 2111 AD. India is the largest economy in the world. It is also the most populous nation, overtaking China decades ago. But, sadly the sex ratio is skewed beyond imagination. There are now only 100 women to every 1000 men. Even though 25% of men are homosexuals and legally married to another 25% of them, that still leaves around 400 men desperate for a mate, for every 1000 of them. To cater to this huge market, Manav Technologies, a Bio-engineering firm, has come up with a revolutionary product, engineered to perfection, designed to satisfy the Indian male.

In a huge auditorium, in front of 500,000 eagerly anticipating men, the CEO and founder of Manav Technologies, Mr. Manav Chandra Parameshwar, unveils a product even Apple would be envious of. They have already booked 50 million pre orders for it.

MCP : Gentlemen. Tonight, is the night. Your wait is over. I apologize for the delay, but you can’t come up with a product like this that easily.

(The crowd goes wild, cheers enthusiastically)

MCP : I give you, the “Bhaartiya Naari” !

( 3 BN’s walk on the ramp . They look like supermodels. The guys go crazy )

MCP : Now now, gentlemen. Calm down. I know you all want to play, but will you have to wait for your BN’s. I know you did not have to wait long for your iPad, but this is way better than any tablet, or gadget you know.

( As the crowd subsides, the stage is prepared for a QNA . Journalists from all leading media houses get ready to shower the CEO with questions )

Journalist : You say that the BN is better any gadget, can you tell us why?

MCP: (Sniggers) That is a very obvious question. Does she look like any gadget to you, although we do plan to market the BN as one ( winks, and laughs at his own joke) . These ( pointing to the 3 BN’s who haven’t stopped smiling ) are living breathing human beings. But they have been engineered to be what most Indian men want her to be. She can talk. She can cook. She can jump into the bed whenever you want her to. She can think to a level decided by you. She can clean, sew and do a host of other things. And the best part is , she can’t nag, whine or cry, ever. How great is that?

(The crowd gasps. The journalist shuts his gaping mouth after a few seconds)

Journalist : That is incredible Sir, if what you claim is right. Tell me more. Why are the 3 women so fair? Don’t you have any models in darker shades?

MCP : (Laughs out loudly) Which country are you from Sir?

( The crowd laughs at the joke)

We are currently offering 3 skin shades that is fair, Kashmiri fair and Caucasian fair. We absolutely do NOT cater to the market seeking wheatish or brown skin tones. And there is NO market for any darker shades. One huge advantage of our product is that their fairness level never falls throughought their lifetime. So there goes the expense of applying fair creams and lotions.

( A collective sigh of relief is heard )

Journalist (a little fazed) : Can the models be of any desired height? What about hair color and length?

MCP : The dream woman comes in 3 standard heights , 5’2 , 5’4 and 5’6 , given the average Indian male is 5’6’’ tall and has a fragile ego. For the unusually tall men, taller models can be availed at a request for customization. We offer many different shades of hair colors, but only 3 different kinds of hair lengths. We have designed the hair in a way that won’t need any shampoos or conditioners and will be strong and shiny forever. So there goes the need for shampoos and conditioners. Is the BN a money saver or what?

(The crowd cheers, again)

Also, the hair lengths have deliberately kept long, the shortest being a feet long, so that you can grab her by the hair easily and land her a few juicy ones whenever you are frustrated. We do try and cater to all the needs of our customers, you know.

(The crowd gasps in amazement , and then cheers )

Journalist: About the last part, Sir. How abuse resistant is the model? How much can she take?

MCP: Oh, don’t you worry about that. You can kick, slap and punch as much as you want. Remember I told you she can’t cry, whine or nag. Well, she can’t a file a complaint either. Remember Assimov’s law for Robots( and winks again) . More importantly, these domestic abuse laws are applicable on real women, not genetically engineered ones. (Laughs, and so does the crowd) Well, if you are too rough on her and she does get a little bent or out of shape, just send her to our service stations and we will fix her up in no time. In fact, the first 3 are absolutely free.

(The crowd cheers, and claps)

Journalist: What other great features does the BN have ?

MCP: Oh many. One cool feature is that the BN is programmable. You can program her to carry out your instructions to the letter. And no, you don’t need to learn Java or C++, even though half the country already knows it. You can program the BN using voice instructions. Say, you want your BN to take your bag when you are back from work, get you out of your work clothes, get you in your casual wear, give you a chilled beer and snacks, switch on the TV for you and massage your feet while you watch it, you just need to say so, in the language you speak. As in, “ every day, after I come from work, do so and so” . You see, it is so simple. We pride ourself on the user friendliness of our product.

Journalist : You claim that the BN is a human, a female? Is it capable of reproduction?

MCP : She is as female as one can get, designed for red blooded male ( and winks ) As far as reproduction is concerned, the BN does better than that. It is not just capable of reproduction, it has been designed for selective reproduction. I mean, who the hell wants a woman who gives birth to children of both sexes? ( The crowd laughs) If that were the case, Thailand would not have built its economy on those baby boy labs. The BN is a boys only mother. Let me explain how it works.

When you get a BN, a tubectomy is performed on it before it is delivered to you. So that you don’t have to bother with a condom every time you have sex. The BN does not have a normal menstrual cycle. For all practical purposes , it is turned off. The hormone level stays uniform, preventing any discomfort to you that could have been caused otherwise. When you are ready to bring your heir on Earth, just send the BN to our service stations, where we activate the procreative function. Now that she is ready to receive your blessed seed, just keep doing what you usually do. If and when , a female foetus is formed, it is auto aborted, and you won’t even have to hear or worry about it. In time, you will be proud father of a boy. Isn’t that genius? Now, nobody can blame you for not fathering a son!

Journalist: (Eyes wide open) But how is that possible? This is unbelievable!

MCP : ( Laughs condescendingly ) Why don’t we just give you the complete design of the BN? Then you can figure it all out.

(Laughs , and the crowd goes crazy )

Journalist : ( Pretending to be unfazed ) So what else can the BN do ?

MCP : Well, she knows cooking, cleaning, knitting, sewing etc. She can take care of the children and the elderly with ease. She can walk your dog and do your laundry. And she is well versed in Vatsayana’s legendary book. Guaranteed satisfaction.

( Thunderous applause from the crowd )

And, when you get tired and bored of your old model, she can be exchanged for a brand new one.

( Standing ovation for the CEO , people are clapping without a pause )

MCP : ( Trying to look modest, but can’t stop grinning like an ape ) That’s all Gentlemen. We have tried our best to satiate your ego. We look forward to your feedback. Enjoy the Bhartiya Naari.

( When the dust finally settled 2 men, talking amongst themselves, as they leave the auditorium. )

Guy 1 : Wow. Manav Tech has finally accomplished what Men have been attempting throughout human history, the total objectification of women. Seriously, this guy has done a great service to Man kind. He should be given a Bharat Ratna. I can’t wait till I get mine.

Guy 2 : You Lucky bugger! What do I do? I am stuck with that whore, my not-perfect-at-all human wife. How the hell do I get rid of her, and get a BN of my own? But seriously, I second you. Three cheers to Mr. MCP. He is my new role model .

Guy 1 : Why don’t you try for a job in Manav Tech? You have years of product testing experience, don’t you? And just imagine, the different ways in which you get to test the BN, if you know what I mean .

( And the two men laugh boisterously )

p.s. This is a satire, just in case some one missed that.

An ode to Life

2011-02-24T12:57:00.000+05:30

Death is inevitable.

This journey will end.

Your body will breathe its last and wither,

But not your immortal spirit , never !

But you do die, in your lifetime.

Many a times. Many a deaths.

You die when you are weak.

You die when you are a coward.

You die when you doubt your self.

You die, slowly and painfully,

When you are inert and full of sloth,

Motionless, lifeless, afraid to go forth.
When you say I can't, I can't, I can't !

But each such death must lead,

To a new life,
A new beginning where,

Courage is Life!
Strength is Life !
Self-belief is Life !

And you, bustling and brimming with energy,

Thundering ahead with the all the might your spirit can muster,

Are the embodiment of Life,

And in this lifetime,

Avow, to never ever give up, to never ever say die !

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

“Stand up, be bold, be strong. Take the whole responsibility on your own shoulders, and know that you are the creator of your own destiny” – Swami Vivekananda

Dedicated to the Butterfly. I wait for it to spread its wings, and fly.

Let the Tricolor unfurl

2011-01-25T20:04:00.000+05:30

I hope to see the National Flag of India, hoisted at Lal Chowk, which still is Indian territory, even though the initiative is taken by the much reviled and communal BJP. If there was no hue and cry when the Paki flag was planted there, why the hell should we be afraid or ashamed of doing it now? It is high time we reclaimed what is our own.

Get an Idea

2010-12-22T22:41:00.001+05:30

Me : Hi Abhishek
AB : Hi Kislay
Me : Say, I watched your latest flick (KHJJS) , and I was a little disappointed .
AB : Any idea why ?
Me : Ha ! Plenty . I could not make my peace with the over benaglification of words . I could not understand why the romantic twist had to be added . And once I picked up the book, Do and die, your entire character , with whom I was not totally convinced to begin with, fell apart.
AB : *sheepish*
Me : Never mind . How is the Big B ?
AB : He is fine
Me : I hope Mrs. Jaya and Mrs. Ash are well too.
AB : They are , thanks for asking .
Me : If you don't mind, I had a rather impertinent question to ask of you .
AB : Go ahead
Me : Would you agree that your father is a Legend ?
AB : Yeah . Duh . What kind of a question is that ?
Me : Pardon me . Would you agree that even your mother kicked serious ass when it came to acting ?
AB : Of course . She rocked .
Me : And your wife, the wondrous Miss Aishwarya has also established herself as quite an actress , right ?
AB : What do you mean by "established herself" ?
Me : Well, she was a model. No offence intended but it did take her a while to get the hang of it. Even though I don't like the way she giggles , I think she can be counted as an actress now.
AB : *Looking a little worked up, grunts* Hmmm
Me : Please, I beg your forgiveness, I did not mean to hurt your feelings, and I did point out that the question was impertinent .
AB : *Sighing impatiently* But what the hell is the Question ? You have asked 3 so far . And you already had the answers .
KC : Well....., Hmmm...... , how do I put it ? Ahem ......... Okay ..... Do you have any idea why 3 out of the 4 members of your happy family consists of 2 great and 1 good actors? Do you have any idea about why they are able to convince the audience ? I mean, do you know why they click as actors ?
AB : *With the contorted facial expression of I-am-trying-to-solve-a-partial-differentiation-equation-in-my-head *

17 minutes later

Me :Well ?
AB : Errr....... Hmmmmm ....... This one is a thinker. What makes an actor click ?
Me : If I wanted to know what made an actor click , I would have gone to FTII Pune. Tell me why do your parents and wife click ?
AB : * After scratching his head for a while* I am not saying this is my final answer, though it would have helped if this question could be rephrased in the form of an MCQ .........
Me : Whoa . Whoa . Dude . KBC is over . Relax , huh ? Give me it .

13 minutes later

AB : *Dejectedly* No idea
Me : *With jaws dropping and eyes popping* Really ? NO IDEA ! NO BLOODY IDEA ! WTF ! I will be damned !
AB :Eh ?
Me : Cheerio ! * And starts exiting cautiously , while AB is back in regurgitation mode*

A few minutes later, I heard the shouts of AB, in indignation, imploring me to come back, shaking his fists in the air. "Run faster" , was the Idea that my brain came up with. And I did.

p.s. Totally fictitious, a figment of my twisted imagination. Do I even have to say that ? And just in case somebody did not notice, it is partially inspired by the latest Idea ad campaign in which AB is asking everyone to "Get Idea" .

Ghost of a Dead Belief

2010-12-08T22:07:00.001+05:30

I Believed .
Those Beliefs are now swimming in front of my eyes.
Dripping in blood.
Their heads hacked off.
For a while I thought it was over.
And off I went, to cremate my dead belief.
There were others there too.
Like me and unlike me.
Friends and foes.
They are burning, faces in fire,
Melting, losing shape,
Consumed, but not purged,
It is strange.
The Beliefs were all colored.
But the ashes , an indifferent gray.
With the dying embers, I said a prayer,
"May its soul rest in peace",
But I had burnt the soul a long time before.
With this thought in my mind,
I made my way out,
Out of heaven's doors.
What I didn't notice, was the Ghost.
Following me, was the Ghost of my dear old friend !

By Stuti Chandra

This is a poem by my sister, who blogs here.

Humara Nayak Nitish

2010-11-24T15:57:00.000+05:30

Humara Nayak jeet gaya.

Our hero won. I am not sure about this claim of mine, but I think he won like no one has ever before. I , like millions of other Indians, am ecstatic. I say Indians, and not Biharis, for I truly believe that his Victory is not only hailed by the Indians from Bihar, but from all over India. For a change, the right man won, for the right reasons and at the right time [ Don't misinterpret the use of the word right here ;) ] . For me, it is akin to the Victory of Good over Evil, like the radiant and resplendent Sun dispelling the clouds of darkness and doom. It is as if our Nayak borrowed Shri Ram’s bow, and chopped off not ten, but multi-headed Raavan’s in Bihar. I see the hand of the Divine Mother, blessing our Nayak with her Shakti, to gore all the Mahishasur’s to death. The Raavan’s are still there, fewer in number though, the Mahishasur’s have not been annihilated to oblivion, but the Battle is on, and you know who is gaining. It feels like Holi, Dusshera and Diwali, all rolled into one. You can say that today, I am on cloud nine, with a rainbow around my shoulders.

One might wonder that what is the big deal about Nitish jee’s re-election. He won in 2005 with a good majority, didn’t he? He worked for the development of the State, didn’t he? Logically speaking, he would have won anyways. And that is where being a Bihari, and having lived in the Dark Ages, gives you the insight that how Logic and Reason had been condemned to hell for 15 years. Unless, you have seen it, heard about it, and experienced it from a close range, you cannot imagine the fear that gripped us all. The perpetual state of disarray that we all lived in, the despair and gloom that had become a part of Life, the notion that one had to leave this damned state for a better Life, and the further you went, the better it was.

When he held the reins in 2005, it was the proverbial sliver lining. But that fear did not go away completely even when he came into Power. Every now and then, the dark thought of his losing in the upcoming elections troubled me. An irrational fear, that nothing good can ever happen in Bihar, that we are doomed forever, that no matter what, the Dark forces will employ diabolical means to usurp power once again. I wonder whether there are others who thought on the same lines, but I had this nagging doubt. It always lurked in my mind, and sent shivers down my spine. Today, his victory has brought with it, the hope and promise for a change that will be lasting and persistent. The landslide is like the proverbial nail in the coffin of the Lords of Misrule. This victory is also a sign of a desperately needed Social change. A change in the mindset of the populace, to rise above caste and religion, to value development and peace over anything else. I do not claim that Biharis are done with caste and religion, or that this change will take place overnight. It a long and arduous process. But with Nitish jee as the Captain, the ship will sail through, and be a shining example of a Nav Bharat.

Our Nayak was not backed by MY or Your people. He was backed by the forward and the backward, by the Hindus and the Muslims, by the hope and trust of the once doomed, who now have a chance to experience Progress for a considerable period.

Today is a great day for India, and for our democratic system. This victory, and the previous one, are in the annals now, and they will be quoted as an example of a turnaround for many years to come. When a state as large and populous as Bihar gets a push in the right direction, it cannot just benefit the people from that state alone. I am no social scientist or a student of economics, but yet, I know and I am so sure of this belief, that the benefits reaped off from the leadership of our Nayak, will affect a lot more people than the 10 crore Biharis.

As Bob Dylan said, the times, they are indeed a changing.

Jai Hind.

p.s. Did any one of you laugh out loud when the Gandhi clan tried hard to impress the Junta, and claim that there has been no development in Bihar, completely ignoring the fact that it was their beloved ally who was responsible for that?

The Might of the X Chromosome

2010-11-12T15:50:00.001+05:30

As most you already know, it takes a X and a Y chromosome to be a guy, and 2 X's to be a gal. Now, this Y chromosome has received much more than its share of attention , and its demand has shot so much in our country , that it led to a pre-premature demise of 5 million girls , and though not as many but quite a few mothers as well . There was a time when the Mother was blamed for giving birth to a daughter, people being completely oblivious of the Male's contribution in the form of a Y chromosome . Well, maybe people know a little more than before now, but I bet most of them don't know the following :-

1. The default gender setting for a child is to be a girl. The Y chromosome acts as a trigger to switch the gender. So all MCP's and men-who-think-women-are-inferior, you were all set to be a girl but for the Y .

2. The X chromosome has about 1200 to 1500 genes . Guess how many genes does the Y have ? Only 100 , and the number is going down .

3. The X chromosome encodes the information for about 1200 different proteins . The majority of these protein sequences are involved in brain development and adult brain function . If this does not make you bow before the Mighty X, then what will ? If it were not for your mommy, you would be blithering dithering idiot ! :D

4. Males are a lot more vulnerable to being mental ( for quite a few mental disorders) , as compared to females because while men have only one X , women have a backup . So if you thought being a guy was all fun and games, think again, for there might come a day when you wouldn't be able to think straight . ;)

In my opinion, the above mentioned facts conclusively prove the might of the X . :) And God save the Y chromosome, the poor thing is dropping genes , thanks to some rapid evolution , that it just might disappear one fine day . I bet that would make a lot of women happy . :D

p.s. My source : Brain Rules by Dr. John Medina . A really great read, if you want to know about how does your brain work , and how can you make it more productive and efficient . And anyone with a basic knowledge of Biology can read and understand it .

My Dear Women

2010-05-06T00:09:00.001+05:30

What comes to your mind, when the first thing you read in the morning is about a padeophile who got away? Or when you read gruesome headlines like “ 7 year old girl raped and killed” . 7 year old ? Raped and Killed ? What the FUCK ? What the FUCK is wrong with a society where children , innocent, divine, pristine, and unspoilt, get raped and killed !

From the very day a woman comes to existence, as a being on this Earth, she is the target, assaulted at every stage of her life. From female infanticides, to being raped and killed, no matter how old or young she is. Whether she flaunts her gifts in a bikni or gracefully covers herself with a hijab, whether she wears a saree, salwar,skirt or shorts, no matter what, why or when, she gets hit. The sickness of men when it comes to sharing the Planet with Women is universal , and manifests in many many cruel ways . They are mostly animals, or animalistic at times, at best.

Leave alone Rape and Murder. They are the end of the spectrum. What about being sacrificed for the sake of a mythical honour, being burned for dowry, being abused by the husband, exploited at the Workplace, sold in the market place, molested in a crowded space? What about the myriad other ways, in which, We, men , in general, make things difficult for them?

This huge gap, between the socio-economic status of men and women, will it ever be bridged by Reservations alone? I don’t think so. And neither can we bridge it by special favours and treatments to a few . You think, just because you don’t see it happening around you or with you, the times have changed, and women now walk along men, shoulder to shoulder? If you do, then you are among the lucky few in India for sure. I cannot say what happens in the Western countries for sure .

And to top this fine fettle of affairs, the Media has descended upon Womenkind, as a eco-friendly fossil-free resource, to be used anywhere, and in any way possible to maximize profits. No, it is not just pronography. Pornography is very direct. It is very blunt . What I am talking about, is the multitude of advertisements, that perpetually drive home the insidious message that if you use :-

My Deoderant -> All the Women for You
My Hair Oil -> Hot wife for you
My Cement -> More women . I don’t know how, but more women for you.
My underwear -> A hot woman for you
My pen -> A hot teacher will fall for you
My Car/Watch/Laptop/Mobile/Analgesic/Soda/Umbrell/God-knows-what-else -> Woman, in every nook and corner for you

And I am not counting the tv-shows and cinema.

So what message do I get , on a subconscious level? And why would would I need so many physically beautiful women? Ergo, a woman is an object, to be enjoyed and collected, if possible. And this message is put forward, 24/7.

I can’t understand the way this society wants to function. It is at odds with it self .

It seems to me, that they are trying to go by the following :-

1. I am a Man. I rock. Even if I don’t, let me reiterate. I am a MAN. I rule.
2. I want to sleep with as many women as possible. From my teenage.
3. It is my birthright to molest, eve-tease,grope etc., any woman that dares to step outside.
4. If any other man does the same to my mother or sister, all hell will break lose.
5. When I marry, I want a hot wife who cooks,cleans and bears my child.
6. I want to be paid a certain amount for my masculinity , and the huge responsibility I take on my shoulders, to feed and protect your daughter. ( I forget at times, that I also get a wife, and the mother of my children)
7. If the hot-wife is an only child, I would be very happy. I don’t want her brothers to share her fortune. My fortune is mine. Her fortune is mine as well.
8. My wife should be a virgin, when I marry her.
9. I should have robbed at least one girl of her virginity before I get married.
10. My wife should not ever betray me.
11. I may sometimes sleep around, just to recreate myself.
12. My wife should respect every memeber of my family, no matter how they treat her.
13. Of all the children 50% or more should be sons.
14. If all the children turn out to be sons, I will reward my wife appropriately( depends on the build,complexion, health of the son, and what he becomes) over her remaining less torturous life.
15. If all are daughters, then all hell will break lose.
16. I may decide to kill some of my daughters, even if I dont have many of them, at times. I may kill them at birth, forcefully marry them off anytime I want, virtually killing them, or may kill them if they marry against my divine wish.
17. I may be upsetting the sex-ratio, but fuck that, my honour comes first.
18. Another source of my beatific honour is the possession of sons with beautiful wives.
19. I am extremely aginst homo-sexuality of any kind. Homosexuality of the feminine kind can be condoned provided I am entertained by it.
20. Coming back to my wife, she should take care of all my children. Sons can hang out with me.
21. All my sons, should get ample opprotunity to play with as many other girls as they want.
22. Any woman , my son marries, should be pure, as was mine, and should not have had any affairs prior to the marriage.
23. It is the fundamental duty of the father-in-law of son’s, to pay me back with interest, all money that I ever spent on him. But he does not get my son for it.
24. If my wife or daughter should get raped, I will first try and rule out whether she asked for it.
25. If any family member does that, I may punish, my wife/daughter, depending on what I think happened.
26. My wife/daughters should not step outside, without my direct permission.
27. I want a certain percentage of the women, to be set aside, for my , and my fellow-men’s recreation. These women, will be treated the worst of all, because of what they practice. The sleep with men, for money.
28. There are a few, amongst, many other things that I want from Women. The others escape my mind. So to simplify things, I have the right to impose any rule I like, from flattening breasts to inspecting wheter women are wearing bras or not. So please co-operate. Or else, you know.

Now , you tell me, how the hell will a society be sane, given even half of the above rules are true. Men try to tilt eveyrthing in their favour to such a crazy extent, that things are way out of balance. But we never see the root cause. We suffer, and make women suffer even more. When we don’t get our sons,we kill them. When our sexually frustrated sons, as a result of the disturbing ratio, rape or attack other women, whom do we blame ? Even when we have paedophiles creeping out of many corners, we refuse to find out, why ?

We choose to ignore all of it. Because we are men. We want women to serve us. Till the day we end up killing all of mankind, and all other women and children.

Kislay Calling Kislay

2010-03-13T01:26:00.000+05:30

Hi Kislay ,

This is Kislay . You might think 0f it as weird , that Kislay is calling you . And why ? Because aren't you Kislay ? So who the hell is this other Kislay . Well , you know what Quantum Mechanics says , that The Universe is one GOOGLE-ish number of possibilities , and I am one just one of them . To simplify things , you may assume that you chanced upon a futuristic time capsule . Anyways , here is the story .

If you continue doing what you are doing right now , then in some time you are going to end up in a Big Reality TV Show . You know , where in order to achieve the Honour of being the 'Hapest Aind Hapining' , you will have to make 3 pairs of shoes of crocodile leather by hunting 7 ferocious crocodiles , win over Laetitia Casta and Monica Bellucci as well , become the President of your dumb ass Housing Society , Do an Item Number with 6 pack FLABS , Act in a Saas Bahu soap for 7 days ( more than that would critically devastate your psyche , 1 month would wipe the very trace of an alert and aware Consciousness from you , Beware ) , And yes , the one of the prime importance , swear as much as you can , that your words are basically construed as one incoherent string of bleeps and bloops . Kind of like , Bleep bleep is such a bleeping bleepy bleep , by Bleep ! Bleep ! Bleep ! :D

And by the way , you will also change your fairness cream . For nowadays , the World and their husbands including grand parents and children , they all bleeping bleep use , the Plasma of Life . This is not your ordinary , two bit , mutation inducing cream , that will alter your genes to become a Melanine free cancer prone version of a Caucasian in just 93.62 bleeping hours ( Not that all Caucasians are cancer prone ) , but it is one which even God uses while he goes tanning( Essentially proving that God is white , ergo he needs a fashionable tan :P ) . It is a God Tanned Cream ! More about it later .

And yes, you will also start dressing like an English Man . For Bhura Indian Research Institute has just declared , breaking news style , that for the diverse Indian weather , the only one complete range of suitable apparel for it is what the English wear ( Technically , any white person would do ) . So get your homburg and tweed and Italian hand crafted shoes ready chappie , jaldi karo .

And one very very important thing . Now you are no longer single . Well , actually you our are not even a couple dude , or a triple , or any number in the vicinity , for your life changed . You are the proud Master of some 7272 women . And all of that happened when you started using Axe , wearing Armani , applying Fair and Handsome , brushing your teeth using Close Up , painting your house with Asian Paint , wearing Macro Man's , using Naughty Rabbit shaving foam, and finally , when you built your home using a bleeping HDFC home loan , with, JK Cement . This became possible through the boundless efforts of Biologists and Statisticians , who conclusively proved that Men think the best , when their blood is somewhere else , which inspired diabolically Genius Marketing Executives to come with all these awe inspiring sex life changing products ( in some cases , they alter sexual preferences ) . Therefore , all men now have not even an iota of any inhibition , run after beautiful women/men all the time . Ah , Finally simpler times . :) My Male Chest is Puffed , with pride . :)

So you understand Kislay , that if you continue to be the over thinking over analysing , as Tool says , and a fool of the first water , as Wodehouse very nicely puts , the future holds all these nice things for you . And listen you nincompoop . I can't get to you if you don't use Vodafone , I don't trust the others . And if possible , use a mid-to-high end Nokia set with 3 G and Wire Less capability . It puts a lot less strain on me , considering that I am a kind of an astral being mate . So take a chill pill , ok ?

And one very important last thing . Sorry for dragging it on yaar . You absolutely must give up Mik and Milk Products , and live soley on Diet Soda and TGIF Cocktails . All that paneer, milk , cheese , curd and shakes your fat behind and rotund tummy feasted on has made me Lactose Intolerant . It is against the law now to break wind , neither in public , nor in private , thanks to exceptional sociological and sociopathic brilliance of the Indian Moral Police Force . Seriously , Kislay , you need to get a grip on just this one tiny little problem of yours . The rest is a smooth sail . And btw , don't squeal it to your room mate .

So do as I say . I will be calling regularly to check on you . Pay your bleep-damned bleeping bills on time .

Cheerio

Kislay ( v4.22+e26FF )

The Atheist , The Man of God and the God Man

2010-03-06T23:24:00.000+05:30

The very concept of God is so overly anthropomorphized, that some of the mentally strongest, the most intelligent, and the most rational of our species ends up disbelieving in it. I think that this anthropomorphizing stems out of a very human urge, to see God as a human, with superhuman abilities, all stemming out of the belief that “God made Man in his image”. So if any other species apart from human were to develop a brain sizeable enough to interpret divinity, will they perceive God as some sort of a super-animal ? I am not kidding at all , that was a very serious question . Say , if Lions had an average IQ of a human , will their society depict God as a Mega Lion ?

The very existence of light, gravity and matter, and the universe which encompasses it all cannot be denied. And neither can the existence of the source or rather the origin of all energy, whose different manifestations are absorbed by all our senses. If some us fail to see God, in all likelihood the cause could be those who try to force their knowledge upon us. If someone is an atheist, maybe he is so because all his life so far, he has seen it as nothing but an evil influence, either directly or indirectly , the greatest excuse ever to shed blood . If an atheist defies religion and God, then those who don’t must acknowledge, that is takes courage to go against a prevalent and widespread social belief and custom and considerable mental verbosity to proclaim your iconoclastic beliefs.

Let's say an atheist was explained Life , Evolution , The Universe , the Big Bang and the concept of Consciousness in as a scientific manner as possible . And then, he is told that there is a theory which points towards a common factor binding it all together. Something on the lines of the Unified Field Theory. And we call it the G.O.D. factor. What will he believe then ? And what will he challenge ?

The following is a comment left on one excellent post by Chrysalis by a close friend of mine, Dj.

“Amazing post....very rationally written! Could'nt have agreed more wth u..... i guess there are very few existing on this planet in the present "kali yug” who truly understand the notion of "I" and "GOD", and you sure r one of them.

I too was born in a religious family, on occasions over religious. Could never grasp the rationality of pomp and meaningless rituals, hence almost turned atheist. But whatever Vedic texts, quantum physics I have read and blogs like this one draw me back to the concept of "I" and "God". Would love to read another such post on these lines. Please keep writing.”

As Dj says, he almost turned an atheist. And why? Because it was expected of him, to believe in the notion of God and practice his religion, on its face value, to synchronize himself with it , just for the sake of it . But the scientist in him could not let him go astray, he almost rejected it. It was only when he started discovering the spiritual aspects of it, he moved further towards it. He is trying to understand God through Quantum Physics, Vedas and Rationality. Whether he fails or succeeds is immaterial because the path he is treading on is right. That is what religion, “the way to the Almighty”, is , and should be according to me . Dogmas, Rituals and vengeful Personal Gods is what it has been reduced to . From Millitant GodMen , to Proselytizing GodMen , with the Horny & Profiteering GodMen thrown in the middle. My usual angry self, lets out a disgruntled sigh every now and then, at the religion coated bull shit thrown in my face. But more than that, what hurts is that why does no University have a course on becoming a successful GodMan.

These are the visible flaws of Religion. Leave alone the fact whether God exists or not for a moment. As I said earlier, if you just consider the amount of blood that has been shed in the name of God, don't you think many sane, rational, and good people will become atheistic?

One last thing that DJ said, an experiment he proposed years ago from now , back in the Golden Days. The idea is to raise a child in an environment where he is not subjected to the notions of theism or atheism. No mention of the existence or absence of God at all. And then you wait, to find out whether this child does ever go down that road? Does he ever ask those impertinent questions? The experiment bears a stark resemblance to The Truman Show.And it would a cruel experiment to carry out.

The most irritating and intolerant aspect of this rigmarole is the ceaseless arguments, bickering, fights and bloodbaths, over convincing each other of the existence of our own personal Gods, our different versions of him. The most exasperating part is the need to get acknowledgement for our own beliefs from people, who may think or perceive very differently, and so, would obviously misconstrue or not construe at all , of what we do. It is like an Arab fighting with a Hindu, where the Arab is willing to behead the other, and the Hindu eager to burn him alive, for what the Arab calls “aab” is referred to as “jal” by the Hindu, and the two are completely oblivious of the fact that no matter what you call it or how you see it, it is Water.

I have come across quite a few communities in Orkut, where there is an ongoing war-of-the-word between theists and atheists. I have seen some of these battles take place on the blogosphere as well. And I try to stay away from them now, for neither will my arguments serve any purpose, neither will I change my belief system. Change is brought about by self realization, and everything else can be nothing but a catalyst or an influential agent. The manner in which members of both the schools of thought, keep trying to convince the other about their misconceptions, would shame the most passionate of all zealots.

So you believe in God, or you don’t. Cogitate, contemplate, debate, retrospect and introspect! Make your decision, and please live with it in peace. But why force your belief down somebody else’s throat. What I fail to understand is that why can't it be left to me and me alone to decide whether I bow before a God or not. I like most devout Hindus do bow before an Idol out of reverence, love, awe and sometimes fear. As a child, the Holy Trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh were super men who created, preserved and destroyed. The Mother Goddess was a fiery and ferocious, yet a very loving and nurturing mother, all of humanity being her children. As an adult, I sometimes feel that the Holy Trinity is nothing but the process of creation, preservation and destruction, the source of those fundamental processes . The Mother as once pregnant with the seed of the life, the point of singularity for the Big Bang, and nurturing the Universe since its conception . I believe so, because of the way I was raised. And I do not think it has impaired my judgment or reasoning.

As I developed my own thought process, I have questioned my own beliefs, tested them, and drew my own conclusions. And this process of design, development and testing is an ongoing one, and never shall it cease, even if I come to disbelieve. I am not inspired by the way I practice my faith to kill, rape, murder or maim. If, I am vengeful or murderous, if I harbor hatred and negative sentiments for my fellow beings , it is more due to the shortcomings in me as a human and a man, rather than the work of the Big Guy. For I am the product of my own deeds, my very own actions have shaped my character, my life and destiny.

Now it won't make much of a difference if I perceive that God as personal or impersonal, whether I envision Him as the expanding and contracting Universe or just a scintillating source of light. I do NOT like being labeled delusional. And as far as evidence or proof of the existence of God is concerned, does the absence of evidence imply the evidence of absence? It is positively insulting to be told that my belief in a higher power suggests that I have a closed mind. That function is governed by weltanschauung of the individual. Freedom to Believe in God or Not is one of the most fundamental of all liberties, and it should be treated like one. As I see it, the myriad schools of thought in this World pertaining to the matters of existence and/or absence of God, could be envisioned as lenses of different tints and hues, and nature, convex, concave, spherical or cylindrical. Light cannot be but seen in different ways through them.

I, for one, believe that no faith is totally good or bad as such. Using the water example here again, religion like water is tasteless, colourless and odourless. So it is the followers who spice it up, aggrandize it, embellish it appeal to their own taste buds, sometimes so, that it doesn’t appeal to the other fool.

"Religion is the opium of the masses”. And how do most drug addicts end up ?

Coming back to atheism, I truly and sincerely respect some of them. If I dislike a few, it is because they are no different from a religious fanatic, perpetually busy shredding every damn thing that Religion touches or inspires. I hope the Atheistic movement does not become another Organized Religion without a God. I fervently hope that the day never comes, when they too become one of the enemies of Humanity, not unlike the many religious extremists plaguing the Planet right now. The intelligent indifference of Atheism should never become the murderous zeal of a Fanatic.

To Believe or Not to Believe, is a very personal and individual choice. You have the right to shred, demolish and question my belief system, but no right to judge or annihilate me for being an adherent, provided it is not the direct or indirect agent of death, destruction and chaos.

A theist and an atheist, once saw the glimpse of entire universe, in its enormity and magnificence, and were awed beyond expression by it. The theist yelped, “Oh My God! This is Him!” The theist interjected in an equally wondrous, yet a slightly rational tone, “No, my good man. That is nothing but the Universe. And it is incredible.”

P.S. : Why the hell did I not think of becoming a God Man ? It hurts to realize that I will have to start as a novice in this Industry , and then gradually work my way up , even though I keep yapping about Religion and Philosophy most of the time . So please pray for me . I promise you , I swear I will not succumb to Horniness , and I will treat all men,women,children and animals,and certain inanimate objects with the Total Respect . Pray for me , so that one day I can quit my job and become Super Shree Sanganak Swamy Manipal Maharaj . To SMSize it , sm42_Baba . What say you ?

P.P.S. Do think about your belief system , and compare it with others .

How to dismantle a terrorist camp

2010-01-24T20:38:00.000+05:30

Question : What do you get when you attack a major Indian city using 10 misled youth , take it hostage for a few days while slaughtering hundreds over the period ?

Answer : You get 11 frustrated Pakistani Cricketers , and , I still can't believe it though , a retributive Pakistani Government . "We will pay you back in kind" was what they have said .

Wow.

And you get this after 1 year, 1 month and 27 days. Well, isn't payback a bitch ? :D We all must be so proud and happy that justice has been served , at last .

But the kind of sick,twisted and vindictive person I am , I am not even close to being content . I want the Lions of our GoI to ban the export of Tea and Fairness cream to Pakistan . That would be a more befitting reply . Yeah . Let those Paki's simmer for a while without fairness creams and Indian tea as well . Let's show them who has got the balls .

And if you take a few more stringent measures like these , then the giant and intricate terror breeding network , and the hate-mongering nation of Pakistan will be on its knees , gasping for a chance to participate in IPL , among many other things .

That is how you dismantle a terrorist camp , and eventually a terrorist state . :D

Math, God and Time Travel

2010-01-14T17:00:00.000+05:30

1 and 0.

1 is Force.

0 is energy.

They exist as 11, which is when force is in abundance, and destroys.

When energy is added to force, when zeroes are added at the end of a 1, we all know what happens. And everything can be expressed in terms of 1 and 0 .

They exist as 00, when an abundance of energy creates.

And they exist in the quantum state of 10 or 01, which their simultaneous and balanced existence, also known as the state of preservation.

When there is a balance between the two, then it is said to be in a state of preservation. The three of them co-exist, as the Trinity in Hindu Philosophy, as the 3 physical dimensions, as the biological processes of birth, life and death, and in many other unseen, unheard or inexperienced ways.

Force needs energy. It is the concentrated form of energy. Energy is channel less without force. What will energy ride, in absence of force? But what does not ride, and cannot be rode, what needs no medium, no complementing entity, is Time.

Force is 2 dimensional. It is a vector. Energy is 1 dimensional. It is a scalar. Together, they are the third dimension. Time is like the blanket wrapped around the three dimensions. It is always there, containing it all. For can you ever tell when was there no time?

Force and Energy together create what we can see, touch and hear as the 3 dimensional structures we are and contained in , and the World around us is permeated by what we cannot see, hear or touch, by what we only have a limited sense of, Time.

That’s God. And it manifests itself in so myriad ways, and that it would be foolish attempting to quantify it. And it is expressed in so many different languages, by so many different religions and is so many different shades and hues. What else can it be but God? And an Avatar of God seems to be the incarnation of a balanced form of Force and Energy. I do not know whether the physical manifestation of an Avatar can be substantiated or not, but the concept exists.

Suddenly time travel makes sense. Say, there is a very small, but very discrete unit of time. Something a lot smaller than a second, say t. Then at the end of some duration of t, something which is sort of like a snapshot of our 3 dimensional World is being saved. So, we have a super map, which contains every moment. We need to figure out how to map our sense of space and time, say 15th August, 1947 A.D. at the Red Fort, New Delhi, to find out the right co-ordinates from that super map, so that we can reach there. And this is for going back into the past. The future would be a lot more difficult, because we need to figure out the how, as well as the where, which region of the super map. Now, what all the Sci-Fi books and movies have been trying to show makes sense. :) Warp time.

Reflect on the Genius of Einstein. He gave us the equation of energy. E equals mc squared. That IS mind blowing. And theoretical explanations of time travel are supported by his theories.

What inspired what I wrote above? Flat Land. Read about it and check it on you tube. It blew me away, because may be, deep down, I am in love with Mathematics, but I just cannot express it the way Mathematicians do. And I apologize if I wasted your precious time.

Why ?

2009-12-23T05:59:00.000+05:30

Why ? Why the fuck do these questions , which have so many different answers come to my mind ? What the hell should I strive for ? Peace of mind ? A fatter wallet ? Should I do what my parent's want me to do ? Or should I do what I want to do ? Live peacefully in a picturesque village ? Struggle in a bustling city ? Drink hard water , eat semi poisoned food and breath toxic fumes ? Savour the city life at the cost of my dwindling health ? Or pass my life in perpetual tranquility in some remote corner of the world , while enjoying the pristine Nature ? Should I marry ? Should I not , for the fear of incompatibility ? Should it be out of obeisance or my own will ? Should I try to change this fucked up world ? Or should I just try my damndest to get the best deal out of it ? Should I pray for a female offspring , cause the way women are treated sends shivers down my spine (that bastard DGP, for one) ? Or should I devote to the "worthy cause" of obtaining a son , when the time comes ? Should I measure my success in rupees or in terms of people who care for me ? What will make me happy ? Do I want to be happy , the way this world defines it , or for that matter , even sane ?

It seems as if the only thing I can do , is handle what is on my plate right now , to the best of my abilities . Will everything else fall in place ?

Where is Indyeah ?

2009-12-11T21:29:00.003+05:30

Where is she ? She has been AWOL for long . And I say this without a doubt , each and every one of us , members of our blog samaaj , must be missing her presence .

Where is this fellow gang member of mine ?

Where is that bubbly,cheerful,strong and sensible poetess ?

Where is that artist who paints pictures of different hues and shades with words ?

Where is Indyeah ?

If any one of you knows about her whereabouts , please share with us .

Death to Pakistan

2009-11-25T22:06:00.004+05:30

Death to Pakistan !

Death to Pakistan !!

Death to Pakistan !!!

Death to Pakistan , for all the innocent blood they have shed , and tried to pawn it of as an act of faith . I can not possibly believe , that a rather large bunch of Grade A idiots could manage to shadow such a widespread faith . I cannot possibly fathom , that even though they are in huge numbers all over the world , those idiots still feel threatened , and end in up in making significant contributions towards the general "well being" of people like them and people not like them , all around .

Death to Pakistan .

I desire the death of Pakistan , the idea , the ideology , the Frankenstein it is , not the death of all its citizens . I desire the the end to the failed experiment , and seek the destruction of all its evil creations . I desire the death of Pakistan for the sake of our freedom , and the freedom of its own people , from the pathetic state it is in .

Death to Pakistan .

Death to Fundamentalism .

Only a misguided fool will hope for living under the shadow of "one" great faith , nestled by "one" great culture , and speaking "one" great language , rather than bask in the warmth emanating from a number of great faiths , cultures , languages and nations.

For the faith is great only when the faithful are great as well . And I truly believe that there are great people all over the world .

Death to fundamentalism .

Death to any damn thing , that forces the human spirit to be molded by a set of rigid , inflexible , illogical rules , rather than allowing the liberty , to breathe and realize life , in diversity .

Death to all Fundamentalism .

Son of the Soil

2009-11-16T01:06:00.006+05:30

Howdy everyone ! Its been long . Nearly one and a half months since I lasted bored you all with my rants :) . I hope some of you still remember me though .

I bet you all must have seen the Abu Asim Azmi Vs Raj Thackeray , aka Sainiks Vs Samkavadis BS being aired all over . Leave alone the debates , where Ivy League educated politicians talk as if they were schooled and force fed all the words a night before . All theory , all technical terms , full of "We shoulds and we should nots" kind of crap , cliched and over cliched . The issue itself is so damn idiotic . Who asked you to force one language on another ? And more importantly , who the hell asked you puff your chest and proclaim your solidarity with the "national language" . I wonder how familiar is that person , truly , with Hindi . And boy oh boy , do check his wikipedia bio . If the parties involved were so sorely seeking participation in contact sports , they could have easily done it in a better and more dignified manner . But NO . This is INDIA ! A gyrating democracy . Not vibrating , but gyrating , to different tunes . So this had to happen .

But this issue is just an off shot of the real issue , the Son of the Soil theory . I wonder why the name stuck , the only soil I know is the Indian one , the idea of Tamil , Gujerati , Manipuri or Kashmiri soil sounds unreal and nonsensical to me . Anyways, we all have heard about it , since it all started in 08 . What happened then bothered me a lot , and it still does . But what bothers me even more , is the undivided attention , the Hindi and English language media showered on MNS and Mr. Thackeray alone . Sure , he is wrong on many fronts . Undeniable . But how many of the news channels and journalists ever turned the limelight on the politicians and the pace of the development of the states from where all the "undesirables of Mumbai" come from ? Why aren't they portrayed as darkly as Raj Thackeray , who is nothing but one side of the coin ? Why ? Is it deliberate , a part of some sort of a super conspiracy theory , to bring him out in the open , and as no publicity is bad publicity , fuel his growth ? Or is it that English and Hindi media took it personally , and decided to just focus on the side of the story they don't like ? I want to know why . Honestly . For will I not accept this argument forever , that any Indian can settle anywhere he wants , no matter what . Some things matter . Like the fact , that two of the most populous states cannot be underdeveloped for long without having its repurcussions . The fact , that a country as huge as ours cannot do with a handful of good cities . And migration must have its optimum levels ,everything in and around us operates on that logic. And who do we blame ? The people of those states ? The people of the states that has the migrant population ? The respective leaders ? The Central Government ? Who , the fuck , is responsible , and answerable ? And more importantly , even if only theoretically speaking , how do you redesign the system , to ensure uniformity , and to restore balance and order ?

But I guess Raj Thackeray alone is enough to push the TRP up . Why bother , huh . Some of us will be happy watching the English/Hindi reporting on him . Some of us , will get a reason to pent up some anger , and might vote for him the next time . Many of us , would process it as reality tv/modern age entertainment , and live with it , till it directly crosses our path .

Please , share with me , if you have any answers .

Show them no fear

2009-10-02T09:49:00.003+05:30

A violent method constitutes the act of inflicting or the threat to inflict physical harm to a person, a larger group or some inanimate object of use or importance to those people. There are times, when committing such an act, becomes unavoidable, given the circumstances. The need for peace in a longer term sometimes warrants that we have a war, now. This is not a bad method. In fact, in the human history , this has been used many a times, and good results have come of it. But, there has been a man, whose approach was as courageous as the violent and life endangering one, yet it differs so much that it is the other end of the spectrum . I need not mention his name; we all know who he was. What struck me now is that even his non-violent method had the intent to attack, destroy or break the enemy. But the object of destruction here is not the body but the mind. It is the spirit of the enemy that needs to be crushed, and if you crush that, you crush the enmity in him, not the enemy. It is very simple, yet profound. It is very human, and at the same time very divine.

Go back a few decades. Imagine a situation where a gora is threatening you with a big fat stick. He is visibly belligerent, itching to use his baton on your brown behind. But you still don’t budge. The gora sniggers, “Wait, till I land a juicy one on the spot”, says he. And his hand comes down. Wham! You are hit, and hurt. You are bleeding. It knocked the living daylights out of you. You almost peed. But deep down, you know that you cannot let go. The enemy must go down. You muster all the strength you can, and you get up. And when you stand on your feet again, look at the gora, defiant, rebellious , proud and indefatigable, not at all vanquish able , what do you think will happen? The gora might strike again. In fact, he might descend on you with untold savagery, a few more times. And if you come back up, like a hit-me-doll, resilient as the phoenix, every time, his spirit will be crushed. He will give up.

“What is going on? What the bloody hell is going on? I hit, and I give it to him hard, and he still doesn’t run away, like he is supposed to do. He should either run away with his tail between his legs, or he should fight back. He doesn’t run, but he doesn’t retaliate as well. What kind of bravery is this? I am so bloody confused. Bloody hell! This guy has got some bollocks. “ I think some similar thoughts will run through his mind . :)

That is true victory. He might still wave the baton at you, threateningly, every now and then. He will curse and spit at you, for that is all he can do. But he dare not hit you again. He is mentally weak, exhausted. His mind is panting. He is afraid, and confused. You are almost invincible to him. That is what a non-violent struggle is all about , the way I see it .

That is the brilliance of a great man. The first one of his kind. And a kind nobody has ever come close to. That is why the World knows him. And if a few, or rather quite a few of Indians swear at him or his methods, it is not because it didn’t or won’t work. It is more because they do not understand it. The same can be said for those, who utter his name at the drop of a hat, and pretend to follow his ways. They do not understand his methods as well. And I cannot start on how his name is being cashed these days.

No matter what happens, you have to fight back, injustice, inequality, persecution, aggression, whatever may it be. But you have to fight it. Neither do you wear the badge of belligerence, and be bellicose all the time, nor do you cloak it under cowardice, and label it as peaceful and non-violent . You fight back, the way you can. The natural urge, being the animals we are, is to resort to brute force. But if your spirit and intelligence is human, you will know what to do. As any method, it has its pros and cons. The pro is that it is the best, in terms of human suffering. The person, suffering the violence will get stronger if he survives. The person inflicting the suffering, will resist or completely stop it. And look at how, even here, there is an act of violence involved. The con here is that, it is slow, it involves patience on your part, and the strength to bear the pain you experience.

Imagine a virtual world , where two warriors are battling against each other, using mental and not physical force . Picture that their light sabers are powered and maneuvered not by the muscles but by their spirits .

It is that simple. The both have certain flaws, they both work, but one, is better than the other, given how humane it is.

I must add, that had I been born in 1914, I would have hitched myself to Bose or Bhagat Singh & Azad. That is what I want. It doesn’t imply that I do understand what “Satyagraha” is all about. And Bhagat Singh and his gang of brave men, did practice the non-violent method, before and after Saunder’s death and the assembly blast incidents, when they were protesting with Lalajee and when they went on a 114 day hunger strike. Do not curse Him, because you love Bhagat Singh, and his kind of revolutionaries. Do not look down upon these young men or dismiss their struggle as a lesser one, just because you worship Him. It saddens me so much, when people compare them with the intent of labeling one as a better or greater one. It breaks my heart that Bhagat Singh jee’s birthday went unnoticed.

We must fight, whenever life puts in such a situation. We must engage the enemy, whenever or however he strikes at us. But we must do it the way we deem fit.

To the Great Man . It took me a while to understand his method.

My lecture on “Violence and Non-violence is over”. If you still can not figure out who is He, please , for the love of Mother India and Humanity, end your life, as non-violently as possible.

Love, Marriage, Philosophy and Physics

2009-09-12T01:04:00.003+05:30

You won't believe it that I wrote this. Me, who worships the Gods of Bachelorhod every day . The guy who cannot bear to be addressed by honeyed words of the “honey,sweetie,cutie,babe” kind. Yes . I did write this . Stuff about love and marriage. At the cost of being banned for life from ze Cool Boys Club, I did write this.

A nocturnal conversation between the man who is my father, my teacher and my best friend, and yours truly , imbibed me with the following facts, mythological facts if you want it that way. And I digested them, and came up with this .

Ram is known as Marayada Purushottam Ram, the ideal man . Ideal man , he WAS , but the ideal husband he wasn't . He failed to perform his “patni-dharma” , and their marriage was tested and failed . It is as simple as that . There is nothing blasphemous about it . No Sir . No religious sentiments can be hurt by this one . This is the way it happened . And the conclusion is , that ideal man he was, he could not be the ideal husband. He loved her, but the affairs of his kingdom caught with him, and ruined his marriage.

The day , and I don't what day is it or what is it called , on which Ram and Sita were married is considered to be the unholiest day for marriage . Now don't go on shredding this logic by asking for scientific facts supporting this argument . Just look at it, as abstractly as possible , by believing in what happened rather than how did it happen , and you will see .

And the day the Destroyer married the Source of All Energy, the day Shiva married Parvati , is considered to be the holiest and the most auspicious day to marry. Mondays, as a day to fast, are very popular young single women seekking a kickass husband, because it is the day of the King of the Dancers, Mahesh . And why, because he WAS the ideal husband. He did not fail his wife, unlike Ram . Bhole Baba is a true Rockstar .

And don't look at this story as one from Hinduism. Abstraction again, look at what happened, and not where it happened. It just makes a lot of sense to me, in a very different way. They explain to me, the notion of marriage and the concept of love.

An ideal man can never be the ideal husband, and the ideal husband can never be the ideal man . It is like the concept of duality , they both co-exist and mutually .

Sometimes, and I don't know why, Hindu Mythology seems like Physics to me, told like a story or as a poem. I see Creation, Destruction, Preservation, Energy, Mater, Antimatter, Quantum Mechanics and what not. I can't really find out all the physics in it, but I can get the hang of some of it , some of the times .

p.s. Thou shall not blame the author if you were quietly scratching your head , or hurling abuses at me , after reading this . :)

My sentiments have been hurt

2009-08-29T19:00:00.004+05:30

Christians in Ferozepur violently protest against the use of napkins with a Cross on it .

Hindu priests are mad at Vishal Bhardwaj , for in his latest movie Kaminey , there is scene in which "Apna haath jaganaath" is written on a door, with a picture of a scantily clad girl next to it . It hurt their religious sentiment .

My sentiments have been hurt as well

I would like a ban on Khuswant Singh and all his books, specially The Company of Women . Why ? How dare you ask me ? Is it not enough that he was written a story about a man who just doing it, left, right and center ? I mean, what about my culture ? Promoting promiscuity, is what it is. But if that is not good enough for you, I will give you one concrete reason. The name of the character, the guy who has sex with so many woman and ultimately dies of AIDS, is Mohan Kumar. You still don't get it ? . Mohan is one of the names of our Lord and Saviour, Shree Krishna. Khushwant Singh , has taken a shot at an avtaar of the Vishnu, the Preserver, and this is not acceptable under any circumstances. I want a ban ! My sentiments have been hurt! So what if I read the book 3 years ago ? It took me some time to realize that his book actually intended to hurt Hindu sentiments. But better late than never. So give me my ban, or else you know what happens.

And this was a teaser . What follows , is the movie .

I have decided to protest against all of humanity for desecrating two of my Gods , namely Vayu , the Lord of Winds and Varuna , the God of Oceans . Humanity , on a daily basis uses air and water , the way they want , and more often than not, they end up polluting it . We ingest air and water , we release it out of our system through the process of excretion , we spit , gargle and break wind . Our cars and our factories pollute. We pollute it when we smoke. We pollute when we are done with our morning ablutions. It is all so insulting and derogatory . It is desecration. It is absolute blasphemy . Therefore, I want a ban on the use of air and water , by humans . Every time, when I see some one wash his dirty hands with water, or hear some one burp loudly after a heavy meal, it makes my blood boil. My religious sentiments have been hurt, and I want this ban to be imposed asap..I am a citizen of secular and democratic republic, and justice can not be denied unto me. I rest my case . And mind you, I chose just two. If I had done my research properly, I am pretty sure the list would have been much longer.

By the way , my sentiments were NOT at all hurt when a 10 year old girl was beaten black and blue, and burned by a TV actress . I mean, who cares. Why the fuck should any one care ? Does it say anywhere in any holy book, explicitly , that “Soap opera stars can not hire 10 year old girls as maids and not hit them or burn them if they are caught eating” ? Does it ? Nope, I don't think so .

I know, I know. Another satire. But what can I do, when life around me appears as a big joke? I promise the next post will definitely not be a satire, unless, Behenji decides to have a swayamvar of her own.

p.s. Is there a God of Trees and WildLife in Hinduism ? Cause my religious sentiments have been hurt that way as well !

Miss Universe

2009-08-24T16:57:00.007+05:30

And the new Miss Universe is, hold you breath, and wait for it, Miss India . Hell yeah, sadi chori , Ekta Chaudhary , from India . And a nation of 1.2 Billion erupts with joy . News channel go crazy . Sarkha, Turedesai and their ilk go berserk . PFBS(People full of BS , i.e. Bhartiya Sanskriti) are ecstatic , as they will be invited to dozens of debates hosted by pompous TV anchors , where the topic would be - "The intricate relationship between Beauty Pageants and Indian Culture and their effects ( ill and otherwise) on the Socio Economic factors contributing to the stability of Modern Indian Society" . Indra Dev is pleased . He is wondering how to woo this apsara to convince her to join his entourage . And it starts raining , ending the drought in parts of our country . Swine Flu patients bounce back to health , as the sudden patriotic surge gave their immunity a much needed boost . A visibly humiliated China, whose contestant could not even make it to the semi final round , drops its plans to surround India with naval bases , and instead , sends a request to the Indian Embassy requesting assistance in increasing the per capita Beauty Quotient . The top brass of the country's most popular brand of fairness cream, The Fair and The Idiot , are gleefully rubbing their hands, their sales sky rocketed , in just one night . "Super Blogger" Kislay, with tissues in his left hand, tears of joy in his both eyes,furiously starts typing with his right hand, composing a 7628 word long post, on how this inspiring moment is going down in the annals of History, and how will it the change the course India takes. Annu Bhai is listening to Iron Maiden , for the movie that will be soon coming out starring the new Miss Universe , needs to have a heavy metal inspired background score , so said KJo to him . Himesh Bhau gets the encouragement and inspiration he was looking for, to contest in Mr. Universe. The grandiose members of the grand old party of India, congratulate each other , Sonia jee and Rahul jee, and stake a claim , in this awe inspiring achievement by a fellow Indian . The media is a little stumped, as to how can they can they label this victory , as one of Secularism over Saffron Fascism , and taunt the BJP . But wait , they are in a mess of their own right now, so let them stew in it for a while. And little and not-so-little girls all over the country , start using cosmetics , think about designer dresses , and practice their "look of utter bewilderment when they are crowned" , as they dream of becoming Miss Muzzaffarnagar Municipality -> Miss Tiruvanathapuram ->Miss Chhattisgarh -> Miss Rupa(Briefs&Vests) India -> Miss Universe(Only for Planet Earth) ! So that , one day , when the country is struggling , and battling as usual , for its existence , they will solve all its problems , by winning a beauty pageant. At least for a while .

So you can imagine how devastated and heart broken I was , when a bored friend casually mentioned that Miss Venezuela ( or did I see it in the daily rag I subscribe to ? ) won the contest . Never mind . We will win it the next year , when our beloved brothers from across the border will be back in action , after a reinvigorating vacation ( courtesy , the GoI ) , and start bombing the shit out of us . Yep . I think so . What do you think ?

p.s. A possible outcome of the Miss Universe/World/Earth/India/Nukkad/Mauhalla/Khet/Khalihan/Municipality contests – I assume that all of these bright and beautiful ladies do wish for “World Peace” . Well, the Gods in the heavens above , might grant them their wish , if they asked for it just after the swim suit round . I would , if I was God . No kidding ! And I bet the soul of Alfred Nobel must be wondering “ Did I miss out on something ? I mean , Math was not practical enough for a prize , but Beauty ? Hmmm . I hope the dudes in charge of my moolah think of this soon enough and introduce a Nobel Beauty Prize . It would shoot the TRP of the ceremony as well , if its aired ” .

p.p.s. No disrespect intended towards the lady who represented India . The satire is directed at everything but her .

Freedom

2009-08-14T13:25:00.003+05:30

Well, I am not going to rant and rave about how hard our freedom fighters fought for it , and how most of the young do not get what it means to be free from oppression and slavery , as they take our freedom for granted . My only wish is that people understand the significance of having an Independence Day . Having said that , I would like to share two great songs, that Freedom, Independence and Brutality of the British remind me of .

The first song is by Iron Maiden , called The Clansman . If revolutionaries like Shaheed Bhagat Singh and Shaheed Chandrashekhar Azad had been into Rock , and if you replace clan with India , then this could have been there rock anthem . To them .

Wake alone in the hills
With the wind in your face
It feels good to be proud
And be free and a race
That is part of a clan
And to live on highlands
And the air that you breathe
So pure and so clean

When alone on the hills
With the wind in your hair
With a longing to feel
Just to be free

Is it right to believe
In the need to be free
It's a time when you die
And without asking why
Can't you see what they do
They are grinding things down
They are taking our land
That belongs to the clans

Not alone with a dream
Just a want to be free
With a need to belong
I am a clansman
Freedom !

It's a time wrought with fear
It's a land wrought with change

Ancestors could hear
What is happening now
They would turn in their graves
They would all be ashamed
That the land of the free
Has been written in chains

And I know what I want
When the timing is right
Then I'll take what is mine
I am the clansman

And I swear to defend
And we'll fight to the end
And I swear that I'll never be taken alive
And I know that we'll stand
And we'll fight for our land
And I swear that my bairns
Will be born free

And I know what I want
When the timing is right
Then I'll take what I want
I am the clansman
Freedom !

No, no we can't let them take anymore
No we can't let them take anymore
We've the land of the free
Freedom !

Is it right to believe
In the need to be free
It's a time when you die
And without asking why
Can't you see what they do
They are grinding things down
They are taking our land
That belongs to the clans

Not alone with a dream
Just a want to be free
With a need to belong
I am a clansman

And I know what I want
When the timing is right
Then I'll take what is mine
I am the clansman
Freedom !

And I know what I want
When the timing is right
Then I'll take what is mine
I am the clansman.

The Clansman on YouTube with scenes from the movie Braveheart , as the backdrop

And this one , again by Iron Maiden , makes some sense as well . The song talks about the forced expulsion of Native Americans to the western United States, presumably during the presidency of Andrew Jackson when the moves were enforced by the U.S. Army ("soldier blue in the barren wastes"). (Wikipdia) . But doesn't it fit ?

Run to the hills

White man came across the sea
He brought us pain and misery
He killed our tribes, he killed our creed
He took our game for his own need

We fought him hard we fought him well
Out on the plains we gave him hell
But many came too much for cree
Oh will we ever be set free?

Riding through dustclouds and barren wastes
Galloping hard on the plains
Chasing the redskins back to their holes
Fighting them at their own game
Murder for freedom a stab in the back
Women and children and cowards attack

Run to the hills run for your lives
Run to the hills run for your lives

Soldier blue on the barren wastes
Hunting and killing their game
Raping the women and wasting the men
The only good Indians are tame
Selling them whisky and taking their gold
Enslaving the young and destroying the old

Run to the hills run for your lives

Run to the hills on YouTube

Image source - www.santabanta.com

The Death of My Childhood

2009-08-07T15:40:00.005+05:30

Friends,
Bloggers ,
Countrymen ,
Countrywomen ,
in short , members of my blogging family

Of late , I have been busy working . No , I did not pick up my toilet and kitchen brush to clean the muck around us . That would require a lot more effort , and I will take a shot at it at a later stage in my life , God willing . To cut a long story , short , I was really working , and that is why , I have hardly replied to your comments . I have missed out on reading some of your posts . I have missed out on exchanging thoughts with you on some of your posts . The few that I have published , were written , long back , when I was not so busy . Thank God for that , at least my blog is not that stale . I almost didn't see the incredibly funny and imaginative posts Vimmu,OG , Solilo and the others came up with (Cross Border Terrorism and Sachai ka Saamna ) ! What I am trying to say is that , I get a little time to peek into the Blogosphere , but I will be back in full swing , soon . That is the hope . My apologies for not contributing to the blogging buzz . And this partial absence has taken a toll on me as well , for , All work and no blogging makes Kislay a dull jackass . I know I am a jackass , my friends and colleagues will surely agree with this one. :) But a tired and a dull one now , and my braying is minus the zest it usually has . I am learning to live life , and how to be an adult , who has to balance work , and life apart from work . And as a member of the IT Industry , I know it won't be easy . But I am trying .

A few weeks ago , I , Kislay Chandra , all of 25 years and a few months old , suddenly realized that my childhood is over . Yes . I know . It took me 25 , instead of your normal 15 to 20 . But then, that is how I am . For me , it was still going on , till I was struck by the thunderbolt of realization, that I cried a little bit , in private. Of course , the child in me is not dead yet. I still hog chocolates , fight for ice cream , jump and shout like a kid , hop around in my home in a vest and old shorts, air guitar like a loon when I listen to rock and try to sing as well, do bakar(a derogatory term for fooling around , doing nothing , but talking,laughing and pulling your friend's legs as hard as you can )as if my friends and I were still in College. Inside , I am still a kid . As they say , the difference between a boy and a man , is the price of his toy . The carefree child in me comes out , plays with his new toys, bikes, cell phones and videogames, the latest being a blender , which I use to make different kinds of shakes and stuff :) ,but not that often. I guess that is how it works . This is what growing up must be all about . Trying to make more money , and discovering new ways to save taxes , rather than coming up with new ways to spend it . I guess that is why childhood is such an innocent and pure stage, you get joy out of things so trivial, insignificant and ordinary, that it cannot but baffle most adults. For me, the death of a person is not the day when he or she breathes the last, it is the day when the child in you , the last bit of pristine is gone.

When I was a kid , my grandfather explained to me the concept of pooja or aradhana . There is the ritualistic version , the meditative way and the one where you try to connect with the Almighty by serving others selflessly. And then , there is your work . He said , and very explicitly , that "if you do your work , with the utmost sincerity and devotion, you need not visit a temple , or offer flowers and burn incense sticks in front of the many forms of God that we bow to" . I knew that all along, but never really did it . I am trying to do it now. And every prayer I offer , ends with a request for subuddhi and shakti to do my work as it should be done .

That was my short story , about me . I am a little down , cause I am still not used to a lot of work , but I will be up soon , as it becomes a habit . And I may be down, but I am never out. Mean while , you keep blogging .

“In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play” - Friedrich Nietzsche

“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.” - Walt Streightiff

“When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood” - Sam Ewing

“When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell. That is why we dread children, even if we love them, they show us the state of our decay.” - Brian W. Aldiss

p.s. It was 2 AM . I had just come out of my office building . The cool breeze was reinvigorating . And that gave me an idea for - Elixir . :)

Mad World

2009-08-02T11:13:00.002+05:30

A tall dark and handsome man entered the room. He was musing over his dark complexion, regretting that he never ever applied the skin whitening cream in his youth. His eyes went up to the bent figure sitting , or rather slumped over the chair. The prisoner looked up, cringed, and cursed himself. “Why the hell did I not take my daily dose of Parle G. I would have been out these shackles by now. But I, like a total moron, had to fall for the coke-ke-saath-dost free crap. And that blunder made me forget about my super-power biscuit.”,he thought. His eyes caught his would be tormentor’s glare. He shivered in fright, those cold eyes froze your soul. He had been trained well, even to bear the harshest of the tortures. He even had his macro-man vest on. But he wondered whether he would be able to fend off this fiend’s attempts. The tormentor switched on the TV. “May be , they are going to give me a test of some sorts”. The colors came on. As his eyes adjusted to the brightness of TV, he started feeling an increasing sensation of numbness. And then it hit him, like a blitzkrieg, and he was fading away. The last word he heard was “Jai Shree Krishna Baa………”.

He was in a semi-comatose state. He had this weird nightmare, in flashes of, pasty faced over made up woman, dressed in expensive sarees. There were a lot of families involved. And almost all of them looked the same age , he couldn’t make out mother form daughter. He passed out again.

He came to his senses. His head felt heavy. He tried grapple with the situation. It took him a while to recall the events before the black out. It seemed that he had a memory loss of some sorts. He retched. His vision was blurry . It took him some effort to open his eyes. The TV was still on . Some young people were arguing with each other on this show. He couldn't make out half of what he said, the other half was beeped. As he watched more and more of it, the dull throbbing which had started in his head, turned into a splitting head-ache. He tried to figure out what was going on . Even in his own mentally disheveled state, he could figure out that a bunch of demented but stylish young men and women were involved in some extremely imbecilic and asinine acts , which obviously did not involve the use of one's brain. 10 minutes into the show, the prisoner just collapsed . His captor grinned, his teeth shining out . He was a Colgate man, and never missed to brush his teeth with the best Oral care had to offer, certified by dentists all over. He was wondering whether to bunk this interrogation session or not, as he nursed a bottle of Fanta in his hand. His techniques were not working, so far the prisoner had just drifted in and out, and showed no signs of surrender . “Eh”, he said,” Let's wait a while, and while I am waiting, I can help some poor villager get some power”. With these words, he turned on his new Voltas AC. As the AC started regurgitating power, he fell into a reverie . He wondered whether to buy some vaseline body lotion for his teenaged daughter. He wanted her to be a better tennis player, and so far , actually working on playing better tennis had not helped her. His son was still hopeless. Even the liberal doses of Mentos didn't help him pass a single subject. He wondered why every product he had ever used never worked as the advertisement promised it would . Perplexed, and tired, he fell asleep.

******************************************************************************

To be continued , whenever I can garner some patience, better words and enough exasperation as a result of watching incredibly dumb advertisements, news anchors, and glimpses of TV shows . Par aap dekhna mat bhoolna , “Rakhee Sawant ka Swayamvar” . And if I were the producer of that show, I would introduce two new rounds to this kickass(so bad , that you want to kick your own butt) modern day “real life” drama .

1.So dumb that you should die round – This will be offered to the contestants . I would approach them personally , and offer them a desert eagle with enough bullets to end their existence , as they chose to be on of the suitors. It is not Rakhee , it is more so because this nautanki will be aired on TV , and they have no qualms about it .

2.Everyone-should-get-a-second-chance-and-die-now-or-die-painfully-later-round – This will be offered to the winner . The lucky man , will be asked to end it right here, right now, before he actually gets married . Since this man refused the first offer, this time, I will offer him a sword or a long dagger , as he deserves to die a slightly painful death, for humiliating himself.

I must add, that though I am not a fan of Ms. Sawant , I think she has guts. And the satire was directed more at the audience willing to gobble up Grade A Horse Shit like this, and then asking for more.I am not calling for a ban on shows like these . I hate them , it is my personal view , and obviously I don't watch it . But what is more infuriating , and dumber , is the debates on whether shows like these should be aired in India or not . There was one going on the yesterday, on some we-are-the-only-credible-source-and-we-are-so-full-of-ourselves English news channel . Pooja Bedi was one of the debaters . Mahajan Junior another . And the most important and the most intelligent one, according to yours truly was a guy , who was , I guess the representative of the PFBS , i.e People Full of BS , i.e Bhartiya Sanskriti . I don't want to write down everything he said or why I disagree with it . Just one would be enough . He said "Humare yahan , jab koi aurat pregnant hoti hai , to hum yeh nahi kehte ki woh pet se hai , hum yeh kehte hain ki uska paanv bhari hai . Yeh hai Bhartiya Sanskirit " . I was stumped after hearing this . I mean , how is it the term used to describe a woman who is carrying a new life related to Bhartiya Sanskriti ? I mean , WTF . Am I an idiot that I don't get it ? Do you get it ? What was he trying to say ? I still don't get it . Please , for the love of BS , tell me . And Pooja Bedi was in hysterics .

One last thought . The way things are , please do not feel surprised if one fine day , the ignoranuses(ignorant assholes) who debate on such stupid topics , make an issue out of Western style toilets . They might come up with something like - "As a western toilet is too comfortable for ablutions , it makes the Common Indian Man/Woman forget , that he/she has to struggle everyday for existence , and so is against the ethos of Bhartiya Sanskriti " , or words to that effect . Or , if not this , then something worse than this , which would be - "Woman should not be allowed to use Western toilets , as the seat is on a higher level compared to the desi one . And , as men are inherently superior to woman , only they should be allowed to relieve themselves comfortable , and from a higher plane " , or some more BS to that effect . You think I am crazy , huh ? Wait for the day .

After all, it is a Mad World .

Mercurial

2009-07-23T09:13:00.002+05:30

Ever wondered when did the phrase “India-Pak match” became synonymous with a “fierce battle between two groups perceived as radically different from each other, where defeat is unacceptable, and even if the victory is Pyrrhic” ? When did it become a symbol of the clash of the arch-rivals, mortal enemies, of friends and foes ? Since when did it symbolize aggressive conflict, violent and red ?

It is most interesting , that when an actual India-Pak match does take place, even the most apathetic person to this game turns into a cricket-is-my-religion type super patriotic fan who swears by the game. In all likelihood, they have never played, they don't know much about it , they don't give a rat's ass usually, and yet, you find them at the edge of their sweats, jeering the other team more than cheering their own. For this brand new fan of this sport, it is no longer a war of the bat,ball and human spirit; but of pride and religion. Winning is of the utmost importance because it wounds the pride of the other. It is no longer a game but it is War between the very Gods they worship. If you have heard the crass jokes on it , you would know what I am talking about. For them, their religion comes before the nation. For they cannot conceive the notion that both were a part of a larger nation. They shed blood through halaals and jhatkas for a victory .

I guess, it was their kind, who could not see beyond their “own”, and in their short sightedness , upset the equilibrium established by time and fate. All they ended up with was a deep rift , ever widening . And just imagine how much more colorful life would have been , if there were more pieces in this picture, more characters in this play, more nations carved of the old one, a multi-national tournament of blood and feud .

Leave them aside, the actual fans of the sport, living for the next match, practicing their yells. Those who think of themselves as patriot-cum-jingo's, where in fact , all they are capable of is shout harder,swear sharper and burn more fat and blood. They are the ones whose “patriotic feelings” disappear like some cheap,fast vaporizing deodorant, drowning gradually, in the stench of sweating over the contest. When the match gets over, it fades out of existence. From “Go India Go” to “Who cares , as long as it doesn't affect me directly” . You might say, why the pretense to be so overly patriotic , when they actually aren't ? Because deep down , they know the truth , but to drown the voice of their conscience with their pretentious over enthusiastic screams , which gives some gratification . The heat of their passionate cries warms them up somewhat, for sometime.

When the match gets over, they go back then to their lives, back to their squabbles. They look for a common enemy to unite them , rather than accepting differences among their own. They go back to surviving and profiteering, the real fans and the fake ones . Living as they do , till the next Indo-Pak match , or whatever pumps them with their periodic dose of Patriotism .

Elixir

2009-07-16T20:37:00.002+05:30

At last, he found a place. It was dark,dingy and shabby, but it would do. He locked the door. The cubicle was air tight. Although he was sweating profusely and slightly out of breath, he couldn't care less. The release would come soon. He had been looking forward to it, all day long. His excitement was visible, like the child who enters an ice cream shop. He was palpitating .

With unhurried hands, he took it out gingerly, and put it into the conical chamber. It would be ready in a while. He let out a slightly impatient sigh, as he went over his day. It had been very long , and very hard. Grueling to the gills. The fact that he needed his fix every now and then didn't help at all. And to add to his woes, he was an asthmatic . But what is a man supposed to do ? How can you handle the dreariness of daily life , when you are so accustomed to it ? His brain craved for it. It almost shut down every now and then . His skin showed the signs as well .

The light had turned green. The vapour was ready to be inhaled. He decided to save some in his flask, for a later dose. And then, he dove in.

A few seconds later, he was on cloud nine, with a rainbow around his shoulders. Euphoric . Ecstatic . Elated. Pleased . Content . Relaxed . He could feel it in his head and heart . And his lungs too. So pure and pristine was the pleasure he experienced, that he almost passed out.

It was, an elixir. He stayed there for an hour. And then left, a relatively happier man. He knew he couldn't live without it , and looked forward to the next rendezvous.

It was 2049 , A.D. He came out of the roadside artificial oxygen booth.

*************************************************************************************

p.s. How many of you thought that my character was a drug addict ? :) And pardon the scientific inaccuracies , if any . And I guess , the moral of my story is clear enough . To those who didn't get it , what drug are you on ? ;)

The Cook and The Janitor

2009-07-07T17:57:00.003+05:30

Thanks to Smitha and Indyeah :)

Religion is like a kitchen . The food for your soul is cooked . It should be the food for your soul , cooked by people who should be well versed in that art . The different religions/faiths/schools of thought could be the different cuisines . It caters to different kinds of people with different needs . A good cook would be the one focusing on cooking a nutritious meal , without making a song and dance about the ingredients , the utensils or the people who eat it . He wouldn't force the food he likes down anyone's throat . He wouldn't decide whom to feed or not. He would also check his own recipe if people have an upset stomach or food poisoning .

Politics is like a toilet . It has devolved into this state . A dirty , filthy , stinking toilet . One that needs to be clean for the general well being for our society . One that is responsible for the many diseases that our society suffers from . A toilet , that is should be cleaned and maintained by custodians, chosen by us , but they usually end up doing something else , many a times in cahoots with , or under the influence of some really crooked cooks . That is why a person , who enters politics with very pure intentions , would be nothing short of a great social worker , willing to manage and clean the society's sewage .

Now what happens when you don't separate the kitchen and the toilet ? What happens if the janitor and the cook start messing with each others work ? First , you get some really bad food . Let's say , you some how digest it . When the time for your ablutions come , all you have is a dirty toilet ? And heaven forbid , if you are sick , then you are screwed . Picture the janitor promising good food, or the cook directing you to choose a particular janitor , or the janitor favouring a particular kitchen . How bloody disturbing and messy does it all sound ! I can picture the cook and the janitor running to and fro , from the kitchen and the toilet . And what happens when the cook starts cleaning or the janitor starts cooking ?

Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh !!!!!

Secularism is a must , in its pure and unadulterated form .

Param Veer

2009-07-02T11:17:00.003+05:30

Vivek Pradhan was not a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the air conditioned compartment of the Shatabdi express could not cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and still not entitled to air travel. It was not the prestige he sought; he had tried to reason with the admin person, it was the savings in time. As PM, he had so many things to do!! He opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use."Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop.Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car. "You people have brought so much advancement to the country, Sir. Today everything is getting computerized.""Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a look. He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and well built like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school.He probably was a railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.

"You people always amaze me," the man continued, "You sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside." Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naivety demanded reasoning not anger. "It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it." For a moment, he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Lifecycle but restrained himself to a single statement. "It is complex, very complex." "It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid," came the reply.

This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence crept into his so far affable, persuasive tone. " Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in. Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office, does not mean our brows do not sweat. You exercise the muscle; we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing." He could see, he had the man where he wanted, and it was time to drive home the point."Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centres across the country.Thousands of transactions accessing a single database, at a time concurrently; data integrity, locking, data security. Do you understand the complexity in designing and coding such a system?"The man was awestruck; quite like a child at a planetarium.This was something big and beyond his imagination. "You design and code such things.""I used to," Vivek paused for effect, "but now I am the Project Manager." "Oh!" sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, "so your life is easy now." This was like the last straw for Vivek. He retorted, "Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work.Design and coding! That is the easier part. Now I do not do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality. To tell you about the pressures, there is the customer at one end, always changing his requirements, the user at the other, wanting something else, and your boss, always expecting you to have finished it yesterday."Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with self-realization.What he had said, was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth. "My friend," he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the Line of Fire".

The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization. When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.

"I know sir, I know what it is to be in the Line of Fire." He was staring blankly, as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time."There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the Tricolour at the top only 4 of us were alive."

"You are a...?"

"I am Subedar Sushant from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil.They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a soft assignment.But, tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier. On the dawn of that capture, one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety. But my captain sahib (Captain Batra) refused me permission and went ahead himself. He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded,his own personal safety came last, always and every time."

"He was killed as he shielded and brought that injured soldier into the bunker. Every morning thereafter, as we stood guard, I could see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir....I know,what it is to be in the Line of Fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of how to respond. Abruptly, he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a Word document in the presence of a man for whom valour and duty was a daily part of life; valour and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to epical heroes.

The train slowed down as it pulled into the station, and Subedar Sushant picked up his bags to alight. "It was nice meeting you sir."

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This hand... had climbed mountains,pressed the trigger, and hoisted the Tricolour. Suddenly, as if by impulse, he stood up at attention and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute.It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

Source - A forwarded email
************************************************************************************

Captain Vikram Batra was awarded the Param Vir Chakra, India's highest military honor on 15 August 1999, the 52nd anniversary of India's independence. His father Mr. G.L. Batra received the honor for his deceased son from the President of India, the late K.R. Narayanan. Captain Vikram Batra, 13 JAK Rifles, and his Delta Company was given the task of recapturing Point 5140. Nicknamed Sher Shah ('Lion King' in Hindi) for his unstinting courage, he decided to lead the rear, as an element of surprise would help stupefy the enemy. He and his men ascended the sheer rock-cliff, but as the group neared the top, the enemy pinned them on the face of the bare cliff with machine gun fire. Captain Batra, along with five of his men, climbed up regardless and after reaching the top, hurled two grenades at the machine gun post. He single-handedly killed three enemy soldiers in close combat. He was seriously injured during this, but insisted on regrouping his men to continue with the mission. Inspired by the courage displayed by Captain Batra, the soldiers of 13 JAK Rifles charged the enemy position and captured Point 5140 at 3:30 a.m. on 20 June 1999. His company is credited with killing at least eight Pakistani soldiers and recovering a heavy machine gun.The capture of Point 5140 set in motion a string of successes, such as Point 5100, Point 4700, Junction Peak and Three Pimples. Along with fellow Captain Anuj Nayyar, Batra led his men to victory with the recapture of Point 4750 and Point 4875. He was killed when he tried to rescue an injured officer during an enemy counterattack against Point 4875 in the early morning hours of 7 July 1999. His last words were, "Jai Mata Di." ('Hail the Divine Mother'). For his sustained display of the most conspicuous personal bravery and leadership of the highest order in the face of the enemy, Captain Vikram Batra was awarded the Param Vir Chakra.

Batra's Yeh Dil Maange More! (My heart asks for more!), erstwhile a popular slogan for a Pepsi commercial, became an iconic battle cry that swept across the country and remains popular with millions of Indians, invoked at patriotic public events, in memory of the war and the soldiers, and as a symbol of the indomitable spirit of Indian patriotism and valor in face of future attacks.

Upon reaching Point 5140, he got into a cheeky radio exchange with an enemy commander, who challenged him by saying, "Why have you come Sher Shah (Vikram’s nick name given by his commanding officer)? You will not go back." Captain Vikram Batra is said to have replied, "We shall see within one hour, who remains on the top."

While dragging Lt. Naveen back under cover, Naveen pleaded to Captain Batra to let him continue the fight in spite the injuries to which Captain Batra replied "Tu baal bachedaar hai!! Hatt jaa peeche," ("You have kids and wife to look after! Get back!").

Batra's last words were the battle-cry "Jai Mata Di!" ("Victory to Mother Durga!")

"Ya toh Tiranga lehrake awunga, ya fir Tirange mein lipta huwa awunga, lekin awunga" (Either I will come back after hoisting the Indian flag, or I will come back wrapped in it, but i will be back for sure).

Source - Wikipedia
************************************************************************************

He was 25 when he sacrificed his life , 10 years ago . I am 25 now . I cannot but only dream of making such a sacrifice and dying such an honourable death .

Image Source - Google Image Search

Jilted Lovers II

2009-06-26T22:36:00.003+05:30

Ladies and Gentle Bloggers , Jilted Lovers is back , courtesy some of my female friends . I must say , had I been at the receiving end of these incredible messages , I would have considered castration or a sex change operation .

Lower your IQ , loosen you belt , and laugh out loud ! My comments in italics . :)

************************************************************************************

hiiii...can be frndzzz do cre to rply...!!!

This guy appears as: I WaNt 2 C MiNe DeATh CerTiFiCaTe:) . I think he needs to see a certificate assuring us of his sound mental health .

Hiii... i i m also a b.tech student in gzb. may v frenzzz...

If only all single and desperate to mingle B.Tech students from the IIT's and the NIT's could use this , life would would be a lot rosier for them .

Hi may i frndshp with u

First you mental-checkup-with-loony-doctor .

hi im .. jst cmpltd Msc, wrking fr a s/w cmpny jst saw ur profile yar its interesting... wanna hav friendship with u.. if willing pl reply...

Screw you , I no longer "do friendship" with Software Engineers . Your market value has crashed . Contact me after 2014 , when the Recession is over .

Hi.i cant ask u to b my frend as u know nothing about me.but wud like to talk to u if u dnt mind as i m also frm aligarh n now working in bangalore

I can be a fiend to you , and to all the other losers from Loony-garh working in Bangalore .

well about me i m n i m from Lucknow and and and i have done my Mass Comm from Aligarh Muslim University and i stay at Bangalore and i like mind
ice-cream with cery and i love my cat, and bla bla bla and n urs like n dislike...! n u r college

He likes “mind ice-cream with cery” ! Very scary . Any relation to Dr. Hannibal Lecter ? And how did he end up at AMU ? He did not learn to communicate with a single person , leave alone the masses . He sounds like a total jackass to me . I wish he gets hired by NDTV or CNN-IBN .

This is Chandan ..Working in Air Force...Looking 4 a Sweet friend...So if u wana interested to fly on the wings of friendship Wid me.....get ready den...I am
ready to take off now......

If you friendship is anything like the MiG's , fly solo .

Very soon, i will at bangalore............

You will what , crash land ?

plz do reply ..Waiting for ur positive response...bye...take care

Here is my response > + respone ! :P

This the gem , the master piece , the best and the brightest of the lot -

AND 1 THING FOR GALS PLZZ...
never think dat i m d type of guy(like oders)who likes 2 talk 2 every gal only bcoz of d reason dat she is a gal....i realy respect gud gals a lot..but today
most of d gals do not understand d diference b/w becoming a modern gal n a vulgar gal.....so if u r a gud gal den u r most welcome..if not, den stay away 4m
me as i just cant tolerate such shameless gals..(so such gals... dnt send me a frend request..it wil never b accepted).....so only dose gals(strangers) wil b
geting frend request from my side who seems 2 b gud....dont take me in wrong way....i know how 2 behave wid gals..but 1st become such dat i feel proud 2 say
dat i have a frend who deserves 2 b call a GIRL. now ur wish.......sorry if i hurt anyone....(i know most of d gals wnt like al dis n wil not talk 2 me bcoz
of al dat stuff writen dere....but i also know wat type of gals dose wud b...so it dnst effect me..as i realy luv being hated by such gals..)

Boy oh Boy ! I am stumped . His audacity ! The stink of MCP-ness coming from him . He loves to be hated by "vulgar gals" . He wants "good gals" in his good books, so that he can be proud of them . Is he a member of the SRS ? I think the PCC should be re-launched just to smother him with pink panties .

hiiiiii can u add me ass frdf????????????

How honest of him ! He accepts that he is an ass . "me - ass" !

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

""friendly 4u"" (_sexy4u@yahoo.com)

He is friendly . He is sexy . And the extra i's in his Hi account for the number of incompetent idiots he is worth . The number of exclamation marks are the
number of times he was hit on the head with a big fat stick , by some well wisher of his , to knock some sense into him . Did it help ?

"can't we be frnds kya yaar plzz do let me know abut this plzzz

hi hw r u doing?hey can't we be frnds yaar plzz do reply me........will wait for ur reply.

hi hw r u doing?????????can we be frnds????????"

He had been poisoned . The anti-dote to the poison is a chemical called stupidomorphin , which is released when he sends friend requests to random girls . The more loserish he sounds , the more chemicals his body secretes , the longer he lives . Inspired from Crank .

hi dear..new n orkut.......welcum buddy...........!!!!!!!!!!!!

His handle was PJ . He has been appointed as the HR/PR/Liaison officer for Orkut , to welcome new members and make them feel welcome . It would be shame of
somebody was friendless even after joining a social networking website , wouldn't it ?

serial kisser - photography is my passion

Yes , his handle is serial kisser ! Need I say more ?

hi friend how r u aur batao kaisi ho aur kya kar rahi ho

Your friend is cursing the day she decided to join this particular social networking website .

hiiiiiiiiii can we be friends

This message was sent by “i am alone... want to be alone”. He is alone , no surprises there . And he wants to be alone, then why does he need friends ?

The Hot chocolate boy

He thinks his handle makes him hot and a boy with chocolatey looks . I think it can also mean a hot chocolate – boy , bole to , one who serves or sells hot chocolate . I bet he didn't think of that .

can v b afrnd?

No comments here

When you are feeling all alone Down-hearted, sad and blue,And you think that there's just no one

Actually , I thought there are no more fools like you , the Universe must have run out of your kind . But I was wrong . And that is why I am blue, sad and down hearted . Alone , waiting for intelligent life on Orkut .

The Necessary Evil

2009-06-19T22:45:00.004+05:30

Neo would not have appeared as awe inspiring, had Agent Smith been a weaker character, a lesser sentient being (The Matrix). Had there been no Joker , Gotham City would have never realized the huge sacrifice Batman made (The Dark Knight). The greatness of the Dark Knight would not have been revealed; and it is in proportion to how great a character the Joker himself was. Frodo, Aragorn and Gandalf needed Sauron to sustain their goodness (The Lord of the Rings), just as Ergaon needs Galbatorix . And where would my dear Sherlock Holmes be without Professor Moriarity ?

The analogies I have employed are borrowed mostly from books and movies, but they would make sense to you, if you are familiar with them.

What would have been the stature of Gandhi in the absence of an evil British Empire? Would we ever know what sweet is without tasting bitter? Would good be perceived as good, if there was no evil? I think not.

We need Evil, to realize what good is all about. It is not there to punish us or make us worship or pray to the tall man in flowing robes with a white beard and a booming voice holding a staff of gold out of fear or reverence , but rather to complete the picture , and balance the system . Good and evil are the two sides of the same coin. Evil is like the force of friction , which slows down a wheel; but will the wheel ever turn and move forward if there was no friction ? It is as much an integral part of the vicious Cycle as Good is. I can never imagine a state of where humanity is either all evil or all good. That is why World Peace is nothing but a Utopian dream.

The wholeness of any entity in this world is dependent upon an entity opposite to it, one which either complements or negates it, be it the nature, physical attributes or quality. Man and Woman, Yin and Yang, a proton and an electron, they all come in pairs, as does Good and Evil. While on one hand , it is disappointing the existence of good is dependent upon evil , that even when everything appears to be as sunny as it could ever be, there is darkness lurking by ; on the other hand, even the darkest of clouds have a silver king , the most evil of men will be conquered by the forces of Good, happiness will follow sadness . Once again, they complement each other in philosophical reasoning as well.

Good needs Evil. How can one bask in the warmth emanated by goodness, if one has never felt the soul freezing chill of Evil? Dostoevsky's words come to my mind. "It is easier to denounce evil, than to understand it". A villainous character will be swore at , but if you step out of the system , then you realize that the bad man , actually is a major player in the chain of events that unfolded, due to which the World is the way it is . If he is removed a little too early or a little too late, the consequences would be disastrous for sure. Remove Adolf Hitler out of the historical picture , and the EU and the UN would disappear as well. In fact, so would the technological revolution which was ushered during and after the WW II. Imagine, if mankind was oblivious of the abstract notions of good and evil, try and contemplate as to what would have happened. I see inertness. I see no life. For can the process of creation be actually initiated in the absence of destruction?

This balance between good and evil also attempts to explain God, as to something which is not dependent on an opposite, to be in its natural form or a state ; something neither good or evil or encompassing both good and evil . If I confused you , please ponder over it. From this definition of God, consciousness, the life force within living beings, can be explained as an entity which is just there, neither created nor destroyed, purest form of energy ; and it just changes its host environment. From the body a house-fly to body a mighty human. Imagine, a super consciousness, which is made up of such innumerable consciousnesses. Imagine, if you could, a being, which is made up these minuscule life-forces, the way our bodies are made up of cells. And think about what you really are, an organism who struts around the Earth with a puffed chest, when the spark inside you and a humble ant, is the same. If mankind, and all the living species were perishable toys , then the consciousness is like the battery powering it .

All of a sudden, the existence of Aghories make sense.

A mosquito irritates and bites us, and sometimes infects us with a virus that may even cause death. Doesn’t that make it an evil creature, one befitting death and elimination? Hail All-Out, eh? But what is it doing, if nothing but merely what it was designed to do? Suck blood. And what are we designed to do? Suck the planet dry, for one. But also, we are here to survive, and we do so in a multitude of ways. So while we are doing our duty as a species, so is the mosquito. And that is why we need to break free of the system, which has us trapped in, moving in circles, on many different levels. Cycles of life and death, of sickness and health, of happiness and sadness, of rags and riches, of the different states of existence, as a mosquito or a man, an ant or an elephant. A system which presents us with a picture so bright and beautiful, that we often fail to ask the right question “who painted it and why”? A fruit so tempting and delicious to look at, touch,feel and eat, that we forget about the tree. A design which creates an ingenious Virtual Reality. Evil is just doing its job; to be a bad ass, and kick the Good guys whenever and wherever they can. Denouncing it is just not enough, an effort to understand it is important as well, for the truer and clearer picture to emerge. This might give a clue to the meaning of existence, the purpose of life. And that is why I think, that Evil is a manifestation of that very Supreme consciousness .

"Evil is not simply the contradiction of good that can be avoided by goodness; instead it is an aspect of good itself that we have separated from good so that the other side may continue to exist as good" - Source Unknown

“There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it.” - Buddha

p.s. What I have written is based on my own negligible understanding of why things are the way are . This is neither the first word , nor the final one .

The Traveler,The Peasant and The Brahmin

2009-06-16T02:56:00.002+05:30

A traveler, Muslim by faith, passing through a predominantly Hindu village, pleaded for shelter to a peasant of moderate affluence. The peasant was aware of the difference in their faiths, he knew that stranger standing before him was a beef-eater, one who called him a kaafir and prayed to his Allah. But he also saw a hungry man; he could relate to his tiredness as someone who has plowed his own fields, the traveler’s weariness was no stranger to him as one who was at the mercy of agents beyond his influence, factors beyond his control. The drooping beard, the disheveled hair and the pangs of hunger on his sweaty face appealed to the human in him. In his heart of hearts, he wanted to help this man. But he was hesitant. So, he decided to consult the priest of the village, a shrewd and learned Brahmin. The Brahmin scoffed at the idea of him helping a musalman and threatened him with dire consequences if he did so. He used his learning and eloquence to explain what a grave sin he was going to commit. He reasoned with the peasant, whether he actually wanted to give shelter to a cow-killer? The Brahmin smiled, inwardly, when the peasant left with a squarer jaw and a flinty look in his eyes. The Mohammedan was given the boot, no surprises there. The Hindu was saved from desecrating his dharma. He was happy, even proud, of his actions, considering it a step closer to Heaven.

Now, why did the Brahmin inspire the peasant in such a way? It was not because he actually believed in what he preached. Oh No! He was well versed in his shastras, he was aware of his first and foremost duty as a human, as a member of the family this World is. Vasudeva kutumbam was what his sacred texts had taught him. Had he been in a similar pickle, he would have actually cooked for the poor traveler, as he knew that, Atithi Devo Bhava. He had no objection to his being a Muslim, for he truly believed in Sarva Dharma Sambhava. But his knowledge did not deter him from doing what he did. Because it did not help him. The good will that the peasant would have earned was of no use to him. The control he had over the peasant, and his kind, was more important and beneficial to him. If the peasant somehow came to know, that his natural instincts and his common sense kept him on the morally and ethically right path, that he did not need the Brahmin’s wisdom, for what Life taught him was through its myriad ways was enough for him to live with his head held high, that he could reject the Brahmin’s wisdom if it did not appear wise to him; the Brahmin would lose the power he wielded over him, and subsequently the others. In an indirect fashion, the priest also influenced the Muslim’s lives, by ensuring that he was not sheltered. His one word could have been the difference between life and death for the traveler. Power was the most sinful delicacy the Brahmin had ever tasted.

But he forgot, that the power he acquired through gaining the good will of such Hindu peasants and Muslim travelers was purer, whiter and not easy to vanquish, as compared to what he wielded through control, deception and obfuscation. The surrender of the peasant and traveler to his will may or may not be a natural result, unwilling and half-hearted, but the good will of a fellow man cannot be forced out of him.

We all condemn Divide-and-Rule, but we all indulge in it, I think, if not consciously, then sub or un consciously. We all have been the Brahmin, the Peasant or the Muslim once.

The Brahmin could have been a Mullah,a Padri and the traveler a Hindu or a Sikh. It would all be the same. Humanity is so hell bent bickering , waging wars against each other , fellow species and Mother Nature , that it forgets why we are humans in the first place . An intelligent life form must have a higher purpose other than mere existence , at least not the way we exist now . Is it too much to expect this from Gaya's most intelligent child , to live with all the possible imperfections , but in a way which ensures that life itself is not threatened ?

Creative Disclaimer - No disrespect or mal intent intended towards Muslims , Non Brahmin Hindu peasants or Brahmins , in general . It is just a story , please treat it like one .

Black Box of Secularism

2009-06-12T02:19:00.002+05:30

I mentioned something called a BBS in this post, The Case for our next PM . So here it goes , the BS about a BBS !

Black box is a technical term for a device, system or object when it is viewed in terms of its input, output and transfer characteristics without any knowledge required of its internal workings. Almost anything might occasionally be referred to as a black box: a transistor, an algorithm, humans, the Internet, the way political parties in India function and interpret Secularism (I added the last one). The opposite of a black box is a system where the inner components or logic are available for inspection (such as a free software/open source program), which is sometimes known as a white box, a glass box, or a clear box.

Secularism is the assertion that governmental practices or institutions should exist separately from religion and/or religious beliefs. In one sense, secularism may assert the right to be free from religious rule and teachings, and freedom from the government imposition of religion upon the people, within a state that is neutral on matters of belief, and gives no state privileges or subsidies to religions. In another sense, it refers to the view that human activities and decisions, especially political ones, should be based on evidence and fact unbiased by religious influence.

So why is the BBS, a black box? Well, it says it is secular, but you don't know what the hell is going on inside. You expect it to be secular in all contexts and in all the four dimensions, but it chooses its environment selectively. You expect it to be secular, the way secularism is defined, but it follows its own pattern, as if a very highly evolved AI controls it. Unlike the communal forces of India, who are openly communal, it is mystery as to how those who claim to be secular are so? As I said, you don’t know what goes inside the bloody black box. You are not supposed to know. The result is computed on the basis of the input. You have to kill your curiosity about how was it actually computed, and be content with the result.

Being black, it absorbs all the negative communal energy and radiates positive secular energy. The BBS is incredibly effective in blocking out saffron rays. Say, you are getting irritated by the pakhandi baba who is preaching about the benefits of sanyas, perched on a plush cushion in an air-conditioned room, just take out the mini black box. First it will drain the colour out of his robes, and subsequently, his energy. But we must tell you, the designers of this black box were targeting a specific kind of communal crowd. This device absorbs the harmful communal energy emanated by the Saffron brigade only. So if any you thought that air dropping thousands of these over Pakistan or Afghanistan would be the perfect solution, BOO HOO, it is NOT. And neither will it work on the Khalistanis or the aggressively proselytizing Missionaries.

As some we buffoons in the software industry say, “In God we trust, everything else we test”. Even this ingenious device was tested exhaustively, after the development of the first prototype. It was tested on one of the popular leaders of Uttar Pradesh who is, or rather was a key conspirator in the Babri Masjid demolition. To assess its actual effectiveness, it was done without his active knowledge, and lo-and-behold, he turned secular. He switched from a clearly communal party to an absolutely secular party. It was the single-most greatest moment for the Scientists who worked on this project. There have been numerous other success stories as well. One recent incident involved the questioning the circumstances of the death of a super cop, and giving it a Hindutva angle. In this case, certain political leaders, political activists and sections of the media were under the influence. A famous author, who writes about God, small things and how India asks for attacks like 26/11, has had one of her kidneys replaced with a BBS. It is not well known, that a noted film maker who recently came out with a movie on one of the most infamous riots in India, attached a mini-BBS as an appendage to the cameras that were used to shoot the movie. Many political leaders, who rant about what happened in this 02, and forget about what happened in 84, are wearing lockets which have a micro-BBS’s in its chamber. It is quite possible that this could be the reason why the cause of the Kashmiri Pundits goes unnoticed. A key ally of the NDA, which switched sides in the recent elections, did so because a multi-million MW BBS was installed in their party HQ. The terrorist-cum-politician, one of the key suspects in the Coimbatore bomb blasts, was under the influence of the BBS when he apologized for his “misdemeanor”. This is an anomaly, for we did not expect the BBS to work on this kind of communalism .Our other similar attempts have failed, as the design dictates they should (Saffron only). And this is a wild shot, and though it has never been questioned, my gut says the BBS had a role here. Remember the day one of the prominent communal leaders and PM-aspirant in the 09 Elections showered praised on the man who divided India? It could have been the result of the telescopic BBS gun, which is still in its infancy. I have my doubts, but I am willing to bet on it.

While I am not sure, but I think that the communal forces have developed a prototype to reverse the secular and induce the communal effect. This project is still in its experimental stages, and given the rate at which indigenous technology is developed in India, it will take a while for it to be fully successful. Of all the test subjects I am aware of, the only one it worked on was the brother of a politician from Kashmir, who is going to be inducted as Minister in this Government. He, and I heard on this TV, did not disapprove of the Babri Masjid demolition. Yes. Believe it or not. Apparently, places of prayer should not be built upon disputed sites; hence the demolition was actually a favour to the minority community. I concur that the fundamental principle of the device may be right, but the implementation needs a lot more R&D.

Coming back to BS, err, I mean BBS . The key element used in the BBS is Secularium. It has a variable half life, and depends on the object it is acting on. (The half-life of a quantity whose value decreases with time is the interval required for the quantity to decay to half of its initial value). For instance, a strong willed person might wipe out all trace of this element from his system, if he had to gain something under the guise of being communal. Say, you are not happy with the Secular party for not getting a ticket, you can suddenly start screaming “Hindutva!” , buy a trident , start wearing t shirts with Om on it, beat up a few women, rant and rave about Bhartiya or Hindu sanskriti , and then join the Communal party . But as I said, you need to be strong willed. Spineless, yet strong willed.

1 sJ (Secular-Joule) is the amount of energy radiated by the BBS, to bring about a tiny change in an individual, comparable to secularizing one cell, subject to the condition that the person has not been exposed to communal energies for more than an year. The amount of energy needed to bring about the desired change, is directly proportional to the period and degree of exposure. I think Varun Gandhi can be brought back into the secular fold. Praveen Togadia is a lost case, unless we explode the thermonuclear BBS device.

It has been found, that similar to nuclear radiation, over exposure to the BBS may induce cancerous growth in your body, which will reject everything saffron or some close shade of it. So say bye bye to Fanta, Mirinda, Mangoes, Orange Rasgullas and Halwa-with-Kesar in it. One of the test subjects, who was given a more liberal dose, reacted very violently when a triangular shaped saffron flag was waved in front of him. It was worse than when a bull sees red. (*Brainwave* A new phrase, instead of a “bull sees red”, a “secular sees saffron”). Another test subject with a similar high level of Secularium in his blood stream, who had just helped himself to six large helpings of Spanish paella valenciana, suffered from diarrhea and vomiting, and the team had to struggle hard to save him.

Under the influence of BSS, one might just perceive the world, especially India, into shades of communal and secular. So, one is either of the two, and the rest of the factors be damned. For instance, the junta of Delhi is secular because they voted for Sheila Deikshit, but those of Chhattisgarh or MP are communal as they voted back BJP. Also, the current victory of the UPA is a victory of secularism over communalism, no other variables involved.

The full scope of the BBS is yet to be discovered. One of our scientists, while on a break, put a mini-BBS prototype on a TV. What he observed was that only a certain number of news channels could be viewed, the ones which seem to favour a particular political party of India. What was even more interesting was that the voice and arguments of their famous journalists became louder, stronger and shriller. For the communal one, that might cause an ear bleed, or a brain hemorrhage. The BBS could be a potential weapon, an insidious and deadly one.

The BBS has, as its key components, certain sensors, of a very special kind, the element Secularium, intricate circuitry, and a flawless software. My apologies for not divulging more information. How the hell will it be a black box if you know everything about it? More importantly, the understanding of such a device is beyond your plebian intelligence. By the way, the software was not written by TCS, we will have you know. TCS->Tata->Ratan Tata->Nano->Gujarat, get the drift. Back to the BBS, it is a devious machine. Say, a person is standing near it. This machine sends electrical signals, similar to the ones that are generated in your brain when you think, which produces a thought in his mind. A Sample – Should Afzal Guru be hanged? The BBS then gauges the response from the person, by reading the output, the resulting electrical signals generated. If the answer indicates that the person is communal in nature, the Secularium swings into action. Simple, yet very effective.

The BBS comes in many shapes, sizes and strengths . We might come up with a USB compatible BBS drive , for curing communal bloggers , the author of Orange, for instance.

That's all folks. So far, this product has been a classified one. Soon, we plan to mass produce it, launch a massive media campaign and popularize it. Obviously, the English Media would help us, because they themselves are patrons of Indian Secularism. We hope to accomplish this before the communal forces develop a fully functional GCB (Glass Box of Communalism) prototype. We have come with the name of the company which will be selling this engineering marvel, INC. And please, I know what some of you communal idiots must have thought; INC stands for Indian-Neutralizer-of-Communalism. We are looking for a kickass slogan. If you have an idea, please mail it to secular_till_India_dies@INC.co.in . The winner gets a trip to Italy.

The following is the script of the advertisement we plan to air sometime in the future. All characters in the following idea-of-an-Ad are fictitious. Any resemblance to a person living or dead, is purely co-incidental

Rahul and Varun are two estranged brothers. Due to communal company, and over-saffronization, Varun is dying in a hospital, battling for his life, when in a moment of excruciation, he forgets all his differences, and shouts out a loud and resonant, “Bhaiyyaaaaaaaaaa”. Mean while, our hero, the super secular brother Rahul, is sipping green tea about 37 miles away, when his windows shatter, and he hears his younger brother's wail. He knows what he has to do. With a grim determination, he straps on a duffle bag with a BBS, and kick-starts his Ducati Monster. As he revs the hell out of the bike, he screams out a loud “Main as raha hoon chote”. The crows start cawing, and windows and glass objects, shatter, again. In a flash, he is off. It is a race against time. He rode as never before. He drives through orange orchards, draining the fruits of their juice, and nukkad-jalebi shops, draining the sweet of its syrup. Sanyasis sitting under trees are struck by a sudden de-saffronization of their apparel, reminding one of the many Tide ads. Like a juggernaut, our Ducati-driving-Dude reaches the hospital, and rushes to the ward where his sick cousin (pun intended) lies. He takes of the BBS, and places it on the heaving chest of Varun. And then, they all hold their breath. Varun screams, and then becomes lifeless, the monitor shows no pulse, the sickening sound of death in the air. But, this is India, the land of Hindi Cinema. As Rahul starts staring at the ceiling, and was about to deliver a heavy dialogue for God's benefit, Varun springs back to life. The BBS had done its magic. In a calm and secular voice, with a beatific smile on his face, he says, “Bhaiyya, aap aa gaye”. “Haan chote, tu bulaye aur main na aaon”, says Rahul. And then, Varun avows to sever all ties with anything Saffron and its close shades. They hug tightly, as the clouds make way for the shining sun.

A BBS, to save your dying brother – Expensive (as your brother was very very communal)
A Ducati Monster, made in Italy, to get you to your dying brother – Very Expensive
Bringing back your long lost brother into the secular fold – Priceless

That is the power, of a Black Box of Secularism.

The End

p.s. Do I have to say that this is a satire ? This is my way of protesting against the twisted,perverted version of Secularism that the Political Parties practice . Some make no pretense about not being secular , some claim to be secular and are not and some follow their own brand of it . WTF !

Great Indian Leader

2009-06-05T15:12:00.005+05:30

This a short story, inspired by Wag the Dog and the brouhaha over Obama's victory , followed by the quest for and debates over an Indian Obama. This is a figment of my twisted imagination , the seed was sown years ago, but it bore fruit now .

About the movie – It is based on 'American Hero', a 1993 satirical conspiracy theory novel written by Larry Beinhart . It speculated that Operation DESERT STORM had been scripted and choreographed as a ploy to get George H.W. Bush reelected to a second term (taking their cues from Margaret Thatcher's similar invasion of the Falkland Islands), while at the same time analyzing exactly why that conflict had been so popular. Starring Robert De Niro and Dustin Hoffman, the movie is about a Washington spin doctor who distracts the electorate from a U.S. presidential sex scandal by hiring a Hollywood producer, played by Dustin Hoffman, to construct a fake war with Albania. The scheme enlists the musician Willie Nelson (who creates a theme song for the 'war').
( Source – Wikipedia)

Wag the dog - To cause a desired result by means other than the obvious or rational method. Imagine you want a dog to wag it's tail. You should make the dog happy, and the tail will wag. If you can't or won't make the dog happy, you can get the tail to wag by "wagging the dog".

“When the college saw that black students were failing Calculus at a disproportionately high rate to their enrollment, they decided to wag the dog by making the tests less difficult.”

*************************************************************************************

Great Indian Leader

With the aid of a media , how a man of moderate charisma and mediocre talents, as selfish and self-absorbed as the average person, was turned into a magnanimous and magnificent human , a Great Indian Leader . It started of as a bold and imaginative experiment , how a chosen candidate , who had all the right credentials and appearances , was decided upon by the Council to be projected as the next Great Indian Leader . They had nothing to lose if this venture failed , for they would go back to their old barbaric ways, fighting like dogs for votes. This Council comprised not only politicians of the same party , but rather included all the major ones , those who could sway the masses and effectively divide and rule. This may sound strange, but up there, it did not matter who ruled or who did not , they all wielded power and were beyond the rules of a democratic system. They had enough of infighting and fighting amongst each other . It was unanimously decided that the autocracy, anarchy, monarchy and dynasticism that had crept into their system must go . A common goal was agreed upon, a unified vision projected; to introduce an internal democracy. A new constitution which treated each politician equally , which bestowed upon them the right , to share the fruits of the exploit of the masses in proportion of political experience, seniority and the size of the vote bank they controlled . A democracy which would ensure the safety,longevity and security of their lives and political careers, and of their children as well, so that they could go on sucking the blood and life of the populace. The time had come for them to coalesce as a single political unit, driven by their mutual lust for power, they had to evolve for their survival. And the first stage of this process, was this elaborate scheme, a political and sociological experiment . Thus began 'Operation Bharat' . The irony of the name does not do unnoticed.

After an intensive and exhaustive research , after rejecting saffron , green and white candidates , they decided upon one who had none of these, no colour of his own, no personal ideology . They decided to camouflage him so , that to one it would appear saffron , to another green . And some also might see in him , a shade of red . His character was given a design , a diabolical and a genius one . His words and actions were so brilliantly crafted . They had a team of self-styled analysts and 'omniscient' experts to defend his every aspect , who, though professed and preached very differently , yet were on the payroll of the council . They argued and counter argued over whether he was secular or communal , liberal or authoritarian , but in the end they all concurred on his national character , as an agreed upon concession . They created a beautiful multi-hued haze through deception,obfuscation and inveigling, which kept the masses fooled and misled ; while the truth lay hidden comfortably behind the smoke screen . The objective was not at all simple , it was intricate and involved many variables ; to keep the public fooled enough so that they never see him for what he really was , a good-looking and fluent-speaking non-entity , with no flair or flamboyance , no charisma , in fact , nothing extraordinary, and a willing puppet . Through clever campaigning and media management , they made that dog wag* , rather than the tail . His meticulously planned moves ensured that he was in the right place and among right people, at the right time . His popularity was surging , he was headed the right way . He appeared as a messiah for all of them. Suddenly , after a very long time, the people of this land were united , and backed one man , their new Great Indian Leader . It was not as if a few did not see through this mother of all lies, this gigantic farce , but then what can a David do to a hundred Goliaths . The few that rose against them were crushed , their names and reputations destroyed , and they did not hesitate from resorting to brute force, if and when their other methods failed. By hook and by crook , they eliminated their enemies and the rebels. Gradually, they built this seemingly benign Frankenstein, with larger-than-life pieces.

Their Experiment had passed all the tests , now was the time for the acid one , and the strategy employed was unique . Although the GIL was the brainchild of the Council, they decided to launch a political offensive against him , as they would have done against a genuine political opponent .The parties of the council other than the one which fielded this candidate, declared war against him. There was a rhyme and reason behind it. For their efforts to bear fruition, even this impostor had to survive the harshest , had to temper himself in the hell-fire that is the Indian Election , learn how to dance, and make others as well, to the tune of this vibrating democracy. They had never hoped that this would go on forever , but they wanted it to last long enough , to enjoy undisputed , unchallenged power till they possibly could. They were pragmatic realists , and knew greater truths and wisdom than the lies they usually preached and the venom they occasionally spewed . This was the ultimate challenge ,the final hurdle the GIL had to jump , the crux of the entire masquerade . Political Alliances can barely make 5 years , charismatic leaders have made 10 ; if they managed to guarantee even a 15 or 20 year rule , they would be on cloud nine with a rainbow around their shoulders , for a while.

And as it has always happened for this nation , it went the other way . He won . It was a juggernaut. Calling it a landslide would not suffice at all. A single party government , with an overwhelming majority of 400 plus . He was in , and had immortalized himself in the annals of History. The greatest heist of all times had been pulled off, with such suaveness and sophistication, that it would not be even known as one, for a very long time. And considering an average depreciation of a loss of 10% of the seats every year , he had a theoretical shelf life of 25 years . Power breeds power, and the council was confident of stretching this when the time came. After all , they knew all the tricks of this trade. Short of a direct divine intervention, life would be a bed of roses for them, with the occasional thorn .

Politicians - 1 . One fifth of the Humanity - 0 . May be this what the Kali yuga is all about .

*************************************************************************************

Please feel free to criticize my attempt . And to get back in a lighter mood , read this absolutely KICKASS comical post , News at Nine , by mere azeez dost , Child_of_Adam .It is an awesome read .

Solilo's Switcheroo Tag

2009-06-03T18:51:00.009+05:30

This has to be the toughest tag ever . I would not have minded doing something called 99 things you didn't know about me or 999 things you hate . But I do not want to incur the wrath of the BLOD by refusing to fulfill my duty as a conscientious blogger , once explicitly tagged . This tag asks you do a switcheroo , and write down the names of 5 men you would have liked/loved/drooled over , if you were a woman . Boy oh Boy ! I tried and I tried hard , but I couldn't come up with the names of men I would like, that way . So , for the sake of making it easier for me , I made the following assumption . How would I like to look , if I had to ensure that women around me drop like flies . Things got easier then . So , if women in general would like them , then so would I , if I were one . And I have included different kinds as well . You know, Caucasians , Africans , Indians and a multiethnic one as well . So here it goes , and try not to laugh .

1.Rock Hudson – He just struck me as a very handsome man .

2.Josh Holloway – I liked his character in Lost , cocky and cocksure , with a mellifluous Southern accent .

3.Hrithik Roshan – I admire him for he has worked hard to be where he is . He used to stutter as a child , he overcame that . He built his body and took dancing lessons , he is a hard worker . I genuinely respect him . His choice of movies are not that great though . I think he is going to be the next Aamir Khan of Hindi Cinema .

4.Will Smith – He can act , and in different ways too . Bad Boys , Hitch , I am Legend and the Pursuit of Happyness. Versatile actor . And he has a very high CQ – Cool Quotient .

5.Rahul Baba :D The super neta of India . PM in 2014 . Any woman who ties the knot with him can breathe easy, the future of the generations after her would be secure . Need I say more ?

P.S. Solilo , you just wait . I will think of a really difficult tag for you . And I tried really really hard , but could not , include SRK and Farhan Akhtar . My apologies .

P.P.S. I was kidding about Rahul Baba . I couldn't think of the fifth one , it was either him or me . I chose him . You won't cringe when you look at his "cute" face . He is multiethnic. And I won't be labeled a narcissist . :)

Credits for the images goes to Google Image Search .

Die Hard , Bloggers !

2009-05-31T21:28:00.002+05:30

Ladies and Gentle-Bloggers(in a booming voice) , I give you, a guest post by, Zivana ( said - Zeee vaa na !). She is not a blogger, but has quite a few things to say about us. So without much ado, scroll down, read the post and comment, for the love of the BLOD (BLogging-gOD – is it too cheesy? ) .

******************************************************************************

I spilled soda on my table. As I started to worry about the sticky mess and then fret over how I would I clean it and further worry that I may not have that super duper cleaning liquid that instantly washes away the stain, keeping it “So clean that you can eat off the floor! Look, no germs! I don’t see those black little buggers scurrying about on the floor, crawling all over”. By the by, who has a hospital floor at home? (Remember Lizol?) I mean that spotless white, cold floor doesn’t exactly say home sweet home, if you know what I mean.

To come back to my spilt soda, I was then reminded of how many friends have kept warning me not to succumb to my OCD. I am compulsive because it gives me control over a few things in my life. However, it is stuff like this that controls me.

The sarcasm I want to dole out to blogging:

That topic suddenly got boring, so I want to switch to something more interesting. Should I blog? Not sure really. I have always detested blogging. Stupid people from the middle class who think it’s a great talent to waste server capacity dumping their tonnes of crappy opinions on just about anything and everything, from the color of their coffee spoiling their day to feminism and why a certain Mr. I_am_a_whipped_PM has got what it takes to run a country that, well, half the population gives a crap about. And these bloggers come under that section. Not all, but I’m sure, quite a few. Then enthusiastic bloggers (read: idle mind is the blogger’s workshop) go over the stuff, dish out their opinions and again, waste space on the internet. And then, they congratulate one and other on being the real enlightened Buddhas of India and hope one day, that all will spare more time to listen to their ranting and raving. Oh puhleeeeez!! So lame.

Why, oh why do you talk? Barring a few bloggers, who have actually taken their blog to the next level and put it to use, the rest are simply content with their 15 microseconds of internet fame. In this sense, I can call it a rat race of restricted rats; the rats who think they’re not rats.

One look at the average blogger’s page will tell you just how much the human mind can trick its unfortunate owner into thinking how much self importance one can build around oneself. Let’s take a tour, shall we? On the top, you have the title. Nice and catchy. This blog is all about expressing yourself, but let’s face it, we care how others view us, don’t we? Please make way for all the impressive awards people! Now, these are given out ( generously) by other fellow bloggers in recognition of their comrade’s talent, or maybe because their frequencies match, or because its free and they need to feel good about themselves from time to time. Aww, you guys!

One must never forget the power of hyperlinks. You find them jammed into the columns along with the other long, winding text and you wonder why you are even trying to make sense of it. It’s like an obstacle course for your eyes and a marathon for your brain. Perhaps its because of the colours and sizes. Sprint past the black text, jump over the big white link, then again slide again, dropping down to the next paragraph, where, if you were stupid enough to get lost in that wormhole of a link, it will be some eons before you can find your way back.

Some people think it’s cool to dish out fancy words when they give an opinion. Others choose to kiss ass the blogger, saying “oh my, you took the words right out of my mouth!” And then, to themselves “Wow I actually have the same mindset as this guy who’s got 100+ comments so far. So then, they’ll come and read mine too! Yippee! I shall be the next King BIG_BLOG_UGA_UGA.” What a load of humbug and hogwash!

Stunned ? Shocked ? Aghast , as to how can some what hate benign blogging ? Hurt ? Embarrassed ? Introspective , trying to figure the reason why you started blogging , and the reason why you do it now ? Agitated ? Indignated ? Pursed-lips-frowny-face-condescending-look-ated ? Furious ? Murderous ? Picturing yourself , shooting or stabbing Poor Zivana ? Suicidal ? I hope not ! Hold your horses , it ain't over yet !

The good things about blogging:

Ok, so I haven’t been fair about the little guys. So I will scratch the thingy that is my brain and come up with something good on the bloggers. Why, in spite of all that is mentioned above, they are still good for society ( I choose to say society and not India because that ain’t gonna happen anytime in the next century).

As I have said, most of these people are from the middle class, which is the backbone of the country. These are the most progressive thinking section in any country. Their success and school of thought is crucial to push forward the nation . When you see opinions like theirs made public for anyone in the world to see, you get a glimpse of what the future looks like for India.

Blogging is a creative outlet, where you can totally conceal your identity and bare your soul at the same time. Thank God for technology! What I’m saying is, it is a vent. You can give vent to your bottled up emotions that have crushed and melted inside like the onion broth in my pressure cooker. You hold it in for as long as you can. Then the pressure starts to build up. And oops, there it goes, you have unleashed the torrents of demons in you. Jesus would be proud indeed.

Better (and healthier ) than that is to blog. You are put in touch with millions of other lost souls, searching for meaning just like you. Then there are people who just want to be listened to. And believe it or not, people do listen J Yup, you’d be amazed at just how many people can give two hoots to their monotonous lives and read about something in your life. You’d be further surprised at how many more will reach out to you. “Dude, I so totally know how you feel. I’m so worried that because of everybody’s bad karma, we will be obliterated and I’ll be reincarnated into a spider with a giant brain and hairy legs.” (hairier than my own L).

“ Oh honey, I’ve been there. I remember this guy I used to have the hots for in high school and he wouldn’t go out with me because I had tiny tits! Boo hoo.”

“I wanted to commit suicide because I was so fat. I broke the swings. I got stuck halfway on the slides. Each day I got depressed, I just ate. When I hit rock bottom, I wanted to eat my dog. I am with you. Hang in there, girl.”

Or you can even talk about issues that affect a nation as a whole, which is what one of my friends does. He talks about feminism, patriotism, incumbent governments, the right wing, the left wing , all kinds of wings, relationship with the U.S, threat from China, how we need to beat the crap out of Pakistan, corruption, criticizing certain politicians because they aren’t fully Indian, dynasticism, philosophy, discussing his quirks, the beauty and hope for humanity, while degrading it at the same time.

I can go on and on but instead of boring myself, I will say, “Get the drift?”

Just post your thoughts up there and wait and pray. Then, a marvelous phenomenon I’d like to call the Oh_blogger_where_art_thou effect, happens. Across the globe, they come. From far off servers, they come, first in small groups, then larger and larger until its like fireflies hovering around a tree, or bees to nectar or drug addicts to drugs or simply, fellow brethren/sistren ( ha ha) to thy fellow Blog soul in need.

(The number of bloggers frolicking in your blog-o-yard is directly proportional to the popularity and fame(or infamy) of your blog )

(By the way , does anyone feel that the gender of English is male? Here’s an example. Sistren was used in the middle ages, but fell out of use. Personally, I always thought Spanish had a feminine quality to it. )

The next phenomenon involves the generation of intense energy and emotion, exceeding millions of joules that transcends human mind, body, boundary and shoots up to the cosmos. You see Physics and Chemistry at its very best. It touches every blogger who has come into contact with your post. It infects everyone like a putrid fever and for the few seconds that this happens, comments after comments are generated.

And finally, to fulfill Newton’s third law, oh and let’s include Bohr, or he’ll feel left out: Everyone is fully discharged and returns back to ground state, retreating into the shadows, just as strangely as they had come. You think to yourself, “ Was this all a dream?” . But no it isn’t. For lo and behold, they have left behind comments for you, which you are expected to love and cherish like the Ten commandments. The only proof that there is life out there in World Wide Web! Now don’t you agree with me on the mystical and nonsensical power of Blogging?

All crap aside and on a more serious note: I read once that a young girl, who was sexually abused by her father for more than 7 years, finally got the courage to get help and get that perverted bastard of a father arrested. Where did she get it from? She kept a blog page, and it was one of her followers who told her that she should talk to the police. She acknowledges that this was the only thing that prevented her from committing suicide.

So what can we conclude from this? Blogging is good. If you have a great idea, share it. You never know who else out there has it too. If you need help, confide in that anonymous friend. You might be given a new life. If you think you’re cool, please blog. You might end up feeling like you need a new personality. If you disagree with the government, do blog. You will be arrested and charged with being a left or right winger. Then all the news channels reach out to you and SPLAT!! You are on every front page and every T.V screen. People will hold candle light marches for you. They will make T shirts and cards and friendship bands in your name. While these card corporations profit, one of the media people will let it slip that you don’t like the government. After some time, when dust settles on everything, you will be released and people will have erased you from their minds.

Still indifferent ? Happy ? Elated ? Ecstatic ? Socially Elevated ( Cause you are back to being cool , an educated blogger )? Just-touched-head-to-check-for-a-halo-ated ? Levitated ? Still-not-ready-to-come-back-to-Earth-ated ? :D Maga , Chill Madi . And back to Zivana :)

But that’s not the moral. The moral is: Why the heck are you listening to me? Follow your heart. Do what you want. I’m just writing for my own joy J

Credits: This is the result of a fever and mood swings and an unsatisfied wish to pick a fight.

With love , from the Land Down Under

2009-05-29T14:57:00.006+05:30

This post is dedicated to one of my closest friends, Ishan , who is studying in Melbourne . This guy has managed to turn around his life , from the disordered state it was in , and is now on the road to success many will envy . He has battled quite a few challenges in his life , and emerged victorious . He has taken decisions , audacious ones , that some of us can only contemplate about and then dismiss dejectedly . And I know , the tough guy he is , he will face racism and any other ism thrown his way , and come out on the top . Kudos to you buddy . I have never told you this , but I am proud of what you have achieved so far , and you are an inspiration to me . I mean it man .

This post is inspired by the recent racist attacks on Indian students in Australia . As per the news reports , 4 students have been attacked so far , and 1 is battling for his life . I emailed my buddy , to inquire about his well being , and a general WTF-is-going-on-there . The contents of our conversation have been sanitized for you , as the original was peppered with slangs and swear words liberally employed by both of us . This is what he said -

"I am good man . We plan to protest in the heart of the city in some time . The venue has not been decided as yet . You would not believe that one of my friends and I were actually planning to do so , before the attacks took place. So far, there are 10 students who are willing to join this movement. But, there must be like 200 students in the university. Most of these Indians are cowards. That is the reason these goras get them so easily. They dare not attack the Asians cause they know they will get their asses kicked. Not even the Pakistanis or Afghanis , who are lesser in number, as compared to Indians. Some of these attackers are on drugs and/or unemployed. They have no jobs and no money , and that is the prime reason. A side-effect of recession , may be. Indians have been staying in Australia for the last two decades, but this usually does not happen as compared to States . This place is quiet . Only a few suburbs are notorious infested by these crazy guys. I have made some posters and I am putting it on the university notice board. I have taken permission from the dean to organize a protest of sorts. Let me see how many call or contact me . I need at least 50 student to be there for at least 4 hour so that the media can cover them. That is all I want, the whole world must know that we are not happy. Even I have my exams and project work , yet , I have taken the initiative ."

My advice to my friend, "Do it Gandhi style" . I am ashamed and aghast at the response of these Indians . I think , If you try and reason with them , they will come up with excuses like "We are here to study" , "You can't help it , this is part and parcel of life here" and "Stay low on the radar and avoid getting into confrontation" . I bet if the father of this nation had some similar thoughts , he would not have been the father of this nation . My question here is , for how long should one tolerate and bear with racial or any other discrimination ? There must be a threshold, and I think the line has been crossed. These Indians did not go there uninvited . They are not illegal immigrants . The bloody Aussies thronged all over Indian cities , holding road shows and what not , to attract foreign students . And now , they are bearing the brunt of being brown, in the White man's land . I am not saying that these students should pick up hockey-sticks and start fighting . But they must protest . They must shout out loud , that they won't be discriminated against. Can you imagine , living a in a foreign land , thousands of miles away from home , in a country “supposed to be the First World” , and yet , feel threatened and insecure . I hope some of them muster the courage to protest . I cannot envision a multi-polar World Order , with India as one of the poles, if its citizens swallow their pride and be humiliated , for being Indian, and not white . We need to get over the White Man syndrome .

Just imagine how different things would have been, had it been the other way round. A white person getting killed raped or mugged in India. First of all, I think even our own media would give it more attention, well, because they are ass-lickers in general, and what is better than kissing the White Man’s ass? Secondly, their respective government, French, German, English or American would be at the Indian Government’s throats, demanding an explanation, not merely expressing “apallment at the horrendous incident”. And thirdly, they wouldn’t hesitate at labeling India as not safe enough for their citizens to travel, if it came to that. It is a reflection of how they value the life of their citizens, and not just consider them a source of votes. If you remember the Graham Staines murder, which was not racist, but equally or more bad considering the reason, you would get an idea. The furor created by these attacks are not even close. You might think I am getting agitated over nothing, as in the Staines case, 3 people were burnt alive, and in the Aussie one, the students were brutally beaten and no one has died so far. But for how long, before the beatings turn into murders? And when you stab someone, the intent is not exactly benign. And is this just limited to Australia ? I don’t need to embark on narrating the tale of Air France VS Indian Passenger.

Respect is earned , or fought for, it is not handed out as an alm .

p.s. No disrespect intended toward those who were attacked, and are living in fear. I hope this ordeal ends as soon as possible . I am sure a lot of our fellow country men are praying for them .

p.p.s I wonder what Andrew Symmonds has to say about this .

Edited to add : Stay away from Australia , says Bajinder Singh

The case for our next PM

2009-05-22T20:12:00.008+05:30

Super Blogger and hyper commentator (Is it the right word?), Ms. Awesome Indyeah wrote a kickass post on why she loves Rahul Gandhi. The super vella aadmi I am these days(Thank you Recession), I couldn't help but make some observations on that blog in the form of comments, which got me a few smileys and ROFLs. That inspired me to put them together, and some more in this post. So here it goes. Pardon me for those who have already read and laughed (hopefully) at my comments, some of the points are repeated here. My apologies if my zany humour offends your sense of humour .

(Rahul is in the air, ta ra rum pum, ta ra rum pum, Raaa-hoool is in the air !)

***********************************************************************************

So , you think Rahul Gandhi should not be the PM , in the near future(2014), eh ?

1. First of all, get off that dope you are smoking, injecting or snorting. It is making you "communal”. Who sold it to you? A guy in khakee shorts? He said he was some kind of a volunteer? Hmmm. Disturbing. It’s getting saffron-er everyday. No wonder you are talking through you black topi, err, I mean hat. You are living in denial. Once you clear your brain of all the saffron cobwebs , you will start seeing day light. That is the first stage of acceptance.

2. Did you even know that geneticists have come up with a fit-to-be-the-PM-of-India gene, and the descendants of Nehru family have it? No kidding! I swear on INC. Apparently, there is a gene for everything. For believing in God, believing in your Nation, and may be, and this is a very wild guess, for being communal as well. On a side note, if the communal gene thingy does come out to be true, then all the sanghies plaguing the landscape of India need your help. The rabid, Hindutva-hailing, minority-haters will have to be cured of this virulent disease. We would have to install giant BBS's in every saffron infested corner of this country. What is a BBS? Dumbass! Claims to be secular and doesn't even know that. How would you know, you bloody MCP (Malevolent Communal Pig)? I will tell you about it in detail later, for the time being, know that it stands for Black Box of Secularism. Enough digressing! So, I dare you not to question why shouldn’t Rahul Andhi, bole to, Gandhi be the PM-in-waiting, just toe the line like everyone else.

3.Rahul baba is half-a-gora. That is half the reason why he should be the PM, the other half being the sur name. And I will tell you why . It is sad, that some of you ARE willing to let go of your colonial hang over. Absolutely pathetic, makes me want to weep. Did you forget the glorious days of our Gora sahibs? The ones who gave us trains, telephones, English, our nation and an inferiority complex. Do not speak of the millions who died during the process (The Bengal Famine). How dare you question the intention of such white, benevolent and magnanimous people, you brown bugger? They did even have to use any fairness cream for their complexion. *The moron gasps in awe* Goras rock, they kick ass! And DO NOT, under any circumstances, let go of that colonial hangover. For the Love of secularism and India, drink some more of that "white" wine. “White English” wine has been found to very beneficial to a brown sahib's health. If your communal-dope addled brain raises any objection, then try some other liquor, anything European will do. If you have anything Indian, it will taste nothing better than tharra (country made liquor); and God knows, that after your West-influenced education, you have no taste for it. Only pseudo-Hindutva-followers drink Indian-made, because the actual-Hindutva-followers do not drink at all. If the booze is not Western (preferably European), you will puke your guts out. So, in short, you just cannot let go of that hang over.Always be willing to acknowledge and accept the fact, that only a White can rule us, for they are way superior . It would be awesome if someone from England could come over, but Italy is not a bad option. May be France as well, we can ask Sarkozy after he retires. I propose a round robin algorithm, with all the European countries, and USA involved.What say you?

4.Terrorism will be done with in 15 minutes in his reign - “I am confident that this country can take on terrorism. Defeating it is no problem. If we empower those people in villages, we can sit back, relax and we will destroy terrorism in 15 minutes," . Terrorism and terrorists , Gone . Poof . It will do the Vanishing Act . Houdini and P C Sarkar would be proud of him . And empower people ? I say we arm them all to the teeth . Get in touch with the NRA , and Kalashnikov-ize the country . That would solve a lot of problems . On a side note , if you remember the day when a crazy Korean killed his fellow students , the NRA had actually said that had every student on that campus been armed, somebody or the other would have shot him soon enough.

5.For his awesome General Knowledge – Gujarat is larger than UK*, said the great man . I do not know whether he implied area or population, or both . I think some one who can shoot out “facts” like these , for some one who has traveled nationally and internationally and is apparently very educated , it is a clear indication . If only BQC had started when he was younger !

6.This is what I hope we will get from his Columbian connection , Weed and Coke. That is marijuana and cocaine . It will surely make some urban voters very happy. Don't you get the connection? How can you, you dope. And I won’t tell you , find out on your own. After all, you were living on non-secular drugs; it will be a while before you realize the merits of brand Columbia. The World knows how good it is. Hollywood swears by it , even Bollywood, you can ask Fardeen if you don’t believe me. Did you even know that Pablo Escobar, the Columbian Drug Lord , was listed as the seventh richest man ? How would that be even possible if his product was not world class? May the good Lord grant this great man some peace. I am looking forward to the movie that is being made on him, so that he can inspire me, and after imbibing a few of his qualities, I may start my own business and never ever code again for a living.

The above are the reasons why he should be the PM. The following are the possible perks I could come up with, when the “Indiano-Italiano” ties are strengthened and given a new dimension by this gentleman.Pardon my loopiness. :)

1. Football. Yes you fool. Football. Italian coaches and players. Our third rate Indian team will get trained by, say someone like Marcello Lippi, and get a chance to play with the Italians in their leagues. They will have a shot in the International arena. I say this, as honestly as possible and as an upcoming football fan, if Rahul Gandhi promises to make this possible, I will vote for him once. And yes, in case the Indian team does not make it to the Top 32, we will be supporting Italy, business as usual(2006 WC France-Italy Final , Congress workers were rooting for apni Italy).

2. Free trips to Italy and other European countries - Why not? All Rahul Baba fans have a right to visit the country, where a part of his roots are from (nanihal). All Sonia Madam fans have the right to visit the place she is from (mayka). Wouldn't you as a fan, of any great soul, want to visit or explore the place that person was born at, raised in or frequented. So why should the fans of the current Gandhi family be denied the same? It would be an almost religious experience, and Ambika Soni can be the tour guide. And while you are in the neighborhood, have a dekko at the other European countries as well. After all, one must know where one's masters came and are coming from. Get a swig, straight from the flask, that hang over will last for a very long time.

3. An IIT and IIM in Italy - May be. Who knows? But it will be cool, huh? I hope the IIM thing happened soon. I am too poor to go abroad for an MBA. This can be the only shot the likes of me can have at getting a phoren education. Yes, I see the obvious flaw, the fly in this ointment, how will I ever make it to an IIM? I don't know, let me try . Will changing my name to Kislay Gandhi do the magic ?

4. God father 4, 5& 6 will be shot in India. An alternative scenario, where Vito Corleone immigrates to India instead of the US, where he fights and conquers the communal forces and establishes a secular yet criminal business empire. Just imagine, you can boast of this to your non-Indian friends, that the new "God-father trilogy was a shot in a India”, with hand motions and an acquired Italian accent(which could become a new fad and replace American). If you have seen Russell Peters, you will know what I am saying. You can also brag about the fact, that a filmmaker can envision a secular criminal empire , only in India. Yes sire . Bery bery sickular ( Try saying that with the Russell-Peters-Indian accent).

5.Cheaper Olives and Italian Food. For once my dream of going to expensive and exquisite Italian restaurants might come true. I mean, wouldn't spaghetti with meat-balls and pene pasta be more popular and cheaply available? I am pretty sure most Congress workers/members will change their diet. I picture myself, seated in Little Italy, savoring Pasta Paprika and sipping Rosso di Montalcino. And your cocktails and desi-italian recipes will never run out of Olives or Olive Oil. My dream of making Vodka Martinis (as James Bond drinks it in Casino Royale, also called a Vesper) the national beverage might just come true.

And last, but not the least by any measure , his name .

His first name is Rahul .Do any of you dimwitted dunderheads even know what Rahul means? My source , is Wikipedia .

a. Conqueror of all miseries, according to some Upanishad. You bet your saffron ass, he is. He will end our miseries by wiping out the Communal forces.Three cheers for Secularatva !

b. The later use of the word is attributed to the Buddha, who named his son Rahul as he felt that family ties could be an obstacle in the path to renunciation and nirvana. If Grade a Columbian Stuff does not get you nirvana, and helps you renounce this world , (temporarily), nothing else will. While I am not sure whether he would renounce the world, the new era ushered in by him will ensure that others will have a stab at it , provided the Columbian connection is not lost.

c. Rahul also means Moon, Able/efficient in Sanskrit. We all saw how efficient and able he is, the 21-seats-in-UP feat that he pulled off “entirely” on his own speaks for that. And isn't he cute as a moon? And before you jump to any conclusion, let me just tell you that I am still straight. I say that as a neutral and not neutered observer. The girls (not all of them) do go gaga over him.

His last name is Gandhi .Need I explain as to why is that important, you nincompoop numbskull? Seriously, the dope that those khakee shorts guys sold have fucked you up pretty bad! It is the most powerful name in this nation, quite possibly in the World. And the irony is that original bearer has no idea, how his name has been (mis)used and milked in this country. It happens only in India. By Gawd, something suddenly struck me ! If the scientific community (even the tiny one we have) was steeped in this very dynasticism, can you imagine what would have happened ? The family members of tthe Nobel Laureate Sir C. V. Raman banking on the fact the top job of IISc is theirs for the next few generations ! Did a shiver run down your spine ?

Rahul bhai, sure is one lucky guy. Good Education, good Looks, greatest possible name, soon will have a great job. I think we can start using the phrase "as lucky as Rahul”.

A possible repercussion of his becoming the PM - Thousands, may be lacs of kids, born after 2014 will be named either Rahul (firtsname) or Gandhi (lastname). I might name my male child on those lines, if a woman agrees to marry me in or before 2012. So, you won't be able to throw a brick without hitting a Rahul or a Gandhi. Get ready for it. What did you say? BJP? Why can't they come to power in 2014? You jackass, how the hell do you think that will happen? They will be almost wiped out by then, a ghost of their former saffron suffused self. *Brainwave* Unless, they rename their party. From BJP to, wait for it , and it is going to be legendary, the BGP. Ha! How is that? *Visible Halo around yours truly*. And I swear on everything that is holy and sacred to me , if you ask me what the G in BGP stands for , I will %@$#^@&%#&@&#&@ !!!!! If you still don't get it, then I think you need a red and burning mark on your cheek , in the shape of a hand . Jai Ho !

*************************************************************************************

This is a satire, if somebody missed on that. I hate nepotism as many other people do, but I do not hate Rahul Gandhi, at least not now. I hate the fact that the helm of the affairs of this country will be handed out to him, way before he actually proves himself worthy of it. That does not mean that I won't support him if he does appear to me as the next Great Indian Leader. Most importantly, he does not need my support,permission or respect , I want him to accomplish things that will make me respect and support him , or any other person who aspires to be the Prime Minister of this country. To all the die-hard dynasty fans, and RG lovers, my apologies, if you were offended. Chicas of the Delhi University who apparently have an orgasm at the sight of RG , please don't curse me that I never have one ( I actually saw a female DU student scream a out loud and quite orgasmic "Rahul ! I love you! " ) . And read Mr. Vinod Sharma's analysis . He has taken into account his past and present actions and statements , which do not paint him in the same light as the very unbiased Media houses in our country are doing .

* Gujarat is smaller than the UK , both area and population wise .

Edited to add : I was wondering about Rahul baba , and I actually want some one to do an exclusive post on him , biographical in nature , and tell me what his achievements have been so far , and where did he go wrong . I want to know why do people think that he is a ray of hope , and good enough to don the PM's robes in the near future. Seriously , what has he done , and this is a question, not a sarcastic remark . And on the same note , if him then why not Priyanka ? Priyanka's interview

A story about Gender Discrimination

2009-05-18T17:48:00.002+05:30

The not very unlikely juxtaposition of a quote from Solilo's post and a conversation with a friend of mine sowed the seed of thought for this post. This is the quote from Solilo's blog post “Brusque” –

"Do not keep quiet in the face of injustice and gender bias. Those who knowingly keep quiet are as guilty as the perpetrators of injustice”.

And how are they related? Well, they are related because my friend is a woman, working in a reputable multinational software company has been the victim of sexual discrimination. This MNC tries hard to maintain a decent sex-ratio, and I guess it is because of some tax incentive they get. Now my friend, let's call her Mridul (she is very polite), and her colleague and friend, let's call her Aparajita (she is very spunky), have together faced the brunt. Their victimization has been so subtle, nondescript, and insidious, that even they failed to notice it. Or, they did sense it, but did nothing about it, because as a woman, you are used to facing a more than average resistance than your average man faces. They, being the decent and helpful creatures (and confound them for being nice), have been facing a slew of shit since the day they joined their team. Before I start telling you their story, let me tell you, that it suddenly dawned upon me ; what they have been facing is not just due to the misfortune of working in a software company in recession hit times as a fresher, but a significant portion of this "crap" has been dumped upon them on account of their sex. In one moment of epiphany, all the stories I heard over the past 5 months fell in place, illustrating the real picture. And it is ugly, sad and absolutely preposterous.

Here is the scenario - Mridul and Aparajita are freshers as I told you, and they were on bench for quite some time. For those fortunate enough never to have heard this term before, let me tell you what it means. It means that you are rusting. Your company has no work for you. And in these times, the axe may fall anytime. So these girls , along with another guy , one of the protagonists of our bitter-and-real life story , whom I shall name Mahamoorkh Chapanduk Pakhandi ( A big fool - A duffer - A hypocrite ) , i.e. M.C.P. , were grouped informally as a team , to be trained for the particular project soon-to-be-their team was working on. They were not formally allocated , but rather on their way to allocation. That is a like a state of limbo, between heaven and hell, neither here nor there.

So the three of them started their training. This involved mastering a technology, by doing and learning. And these three, as unofficial members of the team, had no access to individual computers, but rather had to share one. Three people - One computer. That is shocking on an altogether different level, for the MNC is multi-billion dollar company. Anyway, I think you all get an idea of what happened. One computer shared by three people, all of whom were supposed to practice their theory. Clashes were imminent and unavoidable. But after the initial unrest, the girls worked out things between them. But then, one computer, shared by two girls and one M.C.Pakhandi. This jackass, instead of being a gentleman and a professional, and trying to adapt to the situation, eventually turned out to be a pukka MCP, one that would make any other MCP proud. Like a wolf in a sheep’s clothing, eventually he showed his true ugly colors. Now, Shreeman Pakhandi , hogged the computer , rarely offered them the one chair they all had to share or relinquished control of the mouse/keyboard .He went through the material they all had to study together at his own pace. If he ever did offer any help and/or the computer, it was more out of condescension, rather than a genuine sense of fair play and team spirit. It was a gesture of magnanimity, doled out to make the other feel small and insignificant. Whenever these girls expressed their difficulty in grasping some concept or the other, it emanated a smile from him, one which said “You dumb girls”, the emphasis being more on 'girl' than 'dumb'.

A completely unrelated, and yet, a significant incident. There is a quiz where you have to write the name of girl, the first one that comes to your mind. Now the jackass who came up with this quiz, was probably banking upon the fact , that like him , most other males would also write the name of the girl they are secretly or openly in love with. The purpose of this charade being to ascertain the name of your love, so that your friends can have a nice time pulling your leg. So our friend, Mahamoorkh, in the presence of Mridul and Aparajita, wrote a name. And as expected, the girls started teasing. And can you take a shot in the dark, and think up what his response was?

“I do not think of her like that. She is NOT beautiful”. Now you call me a loon, but this gives an insight into his character. Had the words been “I am not attracted to her”, it would have been no more than a blip on the radar. But the ones that actually came out suggest that, to him, Love is a by-product of sexual attraction. From that, I conclude that either he is sees woman as sex-objects, and only those beautiful or hot enough are worthy of his love. I may be wrong. I hope I am.

Our friend, M.C.Pakhandi, then ganged up with a fellow pig, lets call him Sidekick Swine (Pigs are in the air, eh?) , and two of them together, then made fun of the girls. Now, a very interesting observation is that, in this entire episode, he has never passed a single lewd remark, or made any obscene gesture. He has done nothing, which can actually be construed as actual sexual harassment. But, even this is sexual harassment. And I do not need a pair of ovaries, and a dose of estrogen to come to this conclusion. In the events that have unfolded in the past 5 months, the actions of MCP and his two bit sidekick, SS, have been more or less influenced by the fact, they Mridul and Aparajita are two girls, normal girls, neither bitchy nor meek. He behaves so, because, maybe, he sees them as not worthy of competing against him, or his bloated ego cannot digest a challenge from the fairer and apparently weaker sex.

This was one man. Now for some more.

In this team, all the girls, the ones who were lucky enough to get allocated got testing, as compared to the guys, who got development. Testing is commonly perceived as a job beneath the dignity of any coder worth his salt. But in a company, where most of the employees have not studied CS as their major, most of them are not coders. So the assignment should be done purely on the basis of their performance in the training program, and not on their sex. But, the girls get testing, not because they are not good at coding, but because they are girls

What some guys actually think about the role of the female members the team – To act as a stress buster, for the overworked male colleague, by letting them flirt with them anytime they want, objects to practice their macho act on and an interesting way to engage yourself when at leisure.

There was a team meeting in which the members were supposed to write down suggestions and ideas to improve the performance of the project. Our troika attended that meeting as well, even though they were not contributing towards the project. As they had no idea about what actually was going on, Mridul and Aparajita, could not have possibly come up with any idea or suggestion. So while they stared at their blank post-its, it caught the attention of senior male colleague. Initially, he coaxed them to write something. And soon it turned into a game, where another team member joined them, and unloaded a pile of post-its. They took verbal jabs at them, had fun at their expense, and shared this awesome in-joke. And guess what, M.C. Pakhandi, and S. Swine were nowhere around. Sexist? Or I am over imaginative?

Personally, I would thrash guys like MCP and SS within inches of their lives, but that would not do anyone any good. His complex, his antagonism towards woman, in general or particular would only increase. I just don't how can people like these be cured.

Now that the story is over, some of you may challenge the neutrality of the story teller, i.e. yours truly. For the past 5 months, whenever I heard their stories, Mr. Pakhandi was never the villain. He was just a male colleague, sometimes very irritating and obnoxious, and un-co-operative, but never the enemy. The girls never saw him in that light till I pointed it out, and they gave an unbiased account, telling it as it happened . As I said before, the realization that something sexist was going on was sudden, and hence, the story.

It is high time the girls kicked some serious MCP ass. I hope they get his balls as a trophy.

The Idea of a Nation

2009-05-11T17:36:00.003+05:30

It started of at Nita's blog , on her latest post , "Kashmir through the eyes of a Kashmiris" . where a gentleman said so -

"This may seem uncomfortable, but I think India should not only give away Kashmir but also let go of North Eastern states if they want independence. Who are we to impose our rule on them? Actually I don’t even know why India is even one country. Our states have less in common with each other than the countries in EU do. What’s with this artificial sense of national identity, forced language (Hindi) and fashionable talk of secularism (asking Hindus to be secular is a mockery).To begin with, the BIMARU states should be let to go. These states can go screw themselves as they have been doing all this time. Enough of taking money from Maharashtra, Gujarat, Punjab, TN and other states."

There other such comments as well , questioning the Oneness of India , and the incredulity expressed at it being one country without having a common language, culture or religion . And I came across a new definition of nationalism . Nationalism , it seems , "is nothing but the regionalism of the Hindi imperialist north Indians" . So the martyrs of 26/11 , Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan , a Keralite , Hemant Karkare , Ashok Kamte , Vijay Salaskar and Tukaram Omble , all Marathi's , were not Indians , but rather a Keralite and Marathis defending Mumbai for their own selfish interests . Irrefutable logic . Yes , Hindi was imposed , the imposition of was not fair . Even so , the mere imposition of Hindi , making the official language of India does not imply that Nationalism is Regionalism of Hindi Imperialist " North-Indians" . In one stroke, I have been reduced to an "imperialist" and a "North-Indian". And this is just an interesting tit-bit , V D Savarkar , who was a true blue Marathi and a Nationalist ( I beg of you not to drag the assassination angle), wanted Hindi to be the National Language . Shocking , right ? I cannot comprehend why . Once again , I do not suggest that it should be . If it were up to me , I would have a common script(Sanskrit's script could be the best) for all Indian languages , and make English and some-other-unanimously-decided-upon-language , as the official ones .

The concept of a nation is not just born out of a common language or culture . Diversity cloaks everything, without fail . This planet does not have one species , one climate or one vegetation . Should life on Earth cease to exists just because all the living beings have nothing in common apart from being alive ? I see India as a microcosm of the World . A rather big one though . You have different languages , religions and cultures . You have different , or rather a mixed race as well . So if we, cannot survive together , tolerate each other , then I have no hope for humanity . If we cannot learn to exist within the realms of diversity , then we will either perish or live very tumultuous lives. A common language/religion/culture may seem the ideal way , but sooner or later , some other issue would crop up . People following the same religion fight over caste and sect . Brahman and Dalit, Forward and Backward , Gujjar and Meena . Shia and Sunni . Protestant , Catholic , Baptist and Syrian . People following the same language ay start arguing over dialects . Hell, you have blonde , brunette and red-headed Caucasians, and even that could be turned into an burning issue by some diabolical genius. And if that doesn't brew up anything, you can always bank on : Communism Vs Capitalism . Male Chauvinist Pigs 's Vs Feminists . Straight Vs Gay .Maybe Vegans vs Non-Vegetarians . The question here is , to what extent are you willing to tolerate the differences between you and the people around you ? Do you want to live with people who look,talk,eat,pray,copulate exactly like you ? Ever come across a jungle with just tigers or rabbits living in it ? Humanity will never be short of reasons to fight over . The trick is to try and keep it to a minimum .

And it is not just race or language or religion , but also shared historical experiences which is important , for nationhood . I bet people were not wondering whether we were one or not in 1962 . It seems as if you need a common enemy to unite everyone , even if not for long . It reminds me of the movie Watchmen , where Dr. Manhattan takes the blame for the nuked New York , unites the World, and de-escalates the tension between US and Russia, who are shown to be on the brink of all-out nuclear missile shooting match . It is fictitious , but makes a lot of sense . So some day , if a hostile alien ship is found hovering above Earth , I guess Chavez , Bush and Osama would also come together . How do you unite people even in the absence of a common enemy ? How do you pull off something like what Hitler did with Germany , without the Jewish fixation ?

The children of a mother may have nothing in common , but that doesn't nullify their bond, does it ? Diving people into smaller and smaller groups, on some nonsensical “common” ground , might be a good short term solution , but in the long term , it will come back and bite us in the ass . It is very easy to crib about how India is divided , how we constantly fight amongst ourselves , how there is not even a semblance of unity . Well , first of all define One . If you expect a nation of 1.15 Billion people to sway in unison over every damn thing , get off the dope you are smoking . That is only going to happen , when , as I said , there is a grave external threat , say , China attacks again . And in the absence of that , you need good leaders to bring out that united "Aye" . And secondly , you are one , if you want to be one . You need the collective will of the people to be a nation. It is like living a big joint family , it seems like a nuisance , but has its advantages . I have said this before , the mass of humanity is a force , if tapped the right way . And yes, it can be mother of all chaos as well . I bet the Nagas , the Tamils , the Kashmiris will be ecstatic to secede . It will be good for a while , until the next despotic dickhead decides to add them to his empire or exploit them for it . And the smaller you are the weaker you are . Gone are the days of nations like Sparta , where 300 held off an army of thousands , may be millions . The concept of India as a nation comes at a price , are you willing to pay for it ? It is an idea ,a bold and imaginative , and it won't be that easy to materialize completely . For those "love-lorn" Indians living in the US who disparage it , please read American History . The US of A came at a price , after a lot of struggle and blood-shed , but that is what makes it strong , among other things . They had a Civil War . May be , even for us , a good spell lies ahead , after the turbulence settles down . Don't we all love be to Global citizens , and rant about Globalization , and how boundaries are created by shallow selfish power-crazed politicians . Well , if you can learn to be a citizen of India , it will teach you everything you need to be a good global citizen .

Indians need validation from the West . So , take a look at a huge chunk of the West , Europe . What is the European Union all about ? They are trying to bring down the walls, after fighting amongst themselves since ages, coalescing themselves as a single unit . Why the hell are they doing that ? Aren't they a bunch of fools, falling for “united we stand,divide we fall, even if the unity involves diversity” ?

Quite a while ago , I had written this as a comment on IHM's blog . What does patriotism mean to me ? It is an extension of the feeling I have for my family . You love it unconditionally . And why do I feel that way ? May be I was born like that. May be there is a gene for it , you can trust the geneticists to come up with something like that . My up-brining is responsible , yes . My grandfather taught me that the motherland comes before religion , or anything else . And education . Not the crap I learned in school . The NCERT History that is taught in our schools is very clean and very guarded. I bet if they added the parts about the creation of Jan Sangh and RSS , it will create a furore . I heard about a man called Deen Dayal Upadhaya through chance, when we all should have heard about him through school books . His words -

"We are pledged to the service not of any particular community or section but of the entire nation. Every countryman is blood of our blood and flesh of our flesh. We shall not rest till we are able to give to every one of them a sense of pride that they are able to give to every one of them a sense of pride that they are children of Bharatmata. We shall make Mother India Sujala, Suphala (overflowing with water and laden with fruits) in the real sense of these words. As Dashapraharana Dharini Durga (Goddess Durga with her 10 weapons) she would be able to vanquish evil; as Lakshmi she would be able to disburse prosperity all over and as Saraswati she would dispel the gloom of ignorance and spread the radiance of knowledge all around her. With faith in ultimate victory, let us dedicate ourselves to this task."

His is the kind we need . And he died under mysterious circumstances .

The above , like many other historical facts, I learned on my own . Through observation and by quetsioning things . From the left,right and center angle . I think if you want the complete picture about a Historical event , you should read about it from the different kinds of Historians . You know , Saffron,Secular,Marxist etc . Then , a semblance of the truth might emerge from it . I use "semblance" and "might" , as this is just a theory . It took me a while to realize that History , is his(or her) story , and not just a cold,unbiased and unemotional assortment of facts . And that it only acted as a soporific while I had to mug to score , in school . :)

I wonder what scares the custodians of History in this country from writing as it was , as humanly as possible . Why can't the coming generations be trusted with the tales of the past , even if they are full of blood , gore and pain . Are they afraid of creating a rift ? I think the absence of truthful historical accounts would create it instead , when one fine day , you suddenly discover what happened , and you feel cheated , and suddenly , all of it seems like a conspiracy directed against , you / your kind / community . I think we just not need to teach the right History , but we also need to teach how to assimilate it the right way . If India was invaded by Mughal/Arab rulers and thousands of Hindu heads rolled in their bloody quest , that does imply that Muslims in India , today , be held accountable for that . I have read about the hundreds or may be thousands of temples destroyed by the Muslim invaders , and kings like Aurangzeb , and that makes my blood boil . But , I am not picking up my demolition kit , and going to destroy mosques in turn . Isn't the study of History , our past , supposed to teach us a lesson for our present and future ? But how will that happen , when those lessons are doctored by the people in power , to suit their ideology ?

Coming back to patriotism, a few days ago, after reading a fellow bloggers comment , I question myself . Why am I patriot ? Why does the motherland mean so much to me ? Am I patriotic because I am a Hindu , one who has been not faced any caste-based discrimination ? A Hindi speaking one ? Is it so , because so far , this nation has not been unkind to me , as could be said in the case of all Kashmiri Pundits or certain parts of the Muslim and Sikh populace , or Dalits ? Does this feeling of patriotism stem out of your association with this land , or is it measured in terms of your net gain as a citizen of this country ? Discrimination or denial of rights alone could be held responsible for having an apathetic attitude towards your nation . I have known quite a few affluent Hindus , who would ditch Mother India , in a jiffy for the land of milk and honey . And I don't think I am patriotic because I am a religious Hindu , cause once again , I think there are thousands of this kind , who will and have gone abroad , but still look up to India as the Holy Land . And if religion alone is the reason to fuel one's love for motherland , than shame on such a patriot . Love for one's country should flow naturally , and without reason , as does your love for your own mother . If the change is one's faith leads to a change in the loyalty for your country , then shame on you , and shame on that faith as well . The prime reason behind my love for my country is that I was born here , and I belong to this place; by virtue of birth and history is this land my motherland . And I can say that his sense of belonging can only be discovered and realized on your own .

Edited to add :

"The human hand is very different from the leg , as the kidney is from the heart , but together they are one functioning entity , and the soul , the consciousness resides in that body , not in the limbs and organs that make it up . And when you chop off a piece of that body , it may live , but in pain . And if you keep hacking off pieces from it , one day , it will die for sure. My sense of patriotism directs me to respect and revere the entire body as that of Mother India , and establish a bond with her soul . "

Evolution -> Aham Brahmasmi

2009-05-05T20:42:00.005+05:30

This is my friend, DJ. I have known this genius for about 14 years now. And he wrote this incredible post "Aham Brahmasmi“. And that made me think, no surprises there. :) All I do is waste my time thinking on everything under the sun except those subjects, the diligent study of which might bring me some moolah. :D Anyways, without much ado, what I thought of was Evolution.

The very concept of evolution is so beautiful, bold, brilliant, and terrifying. It is in sync with the ubiquitous cyclic universal phenomenon around, Change. Evolution is a direct product of change. And change, is brought about by Evolution. They are so symmetrically in tune, balancing each other. And I call evolution terrifying, because things can go horribly wrong as well. When the change brought about is disharmonious, like a self destructive defense mechanism, evolution leads to oblivion. Remember Dinosaurs? And Evolution is in the Blueprint of this Universe, intricately embedded. And by Evolution , I am not just implying the biological changes that the millions of species have gone though , but the process in which everything passes by degrees to a different stage (especially a more advanced or mature stage) . The eternal cycle (my favourite phrase) of birth-death, creation-preservation-destruction of every entity composed of what we perceive as matter, which, I think is one of innumerable iterations of the process; one of the uncountable spokes in the wheel, of Evolution. That is the real Intelligent Design. Not the creationist bunkum about a creature bearing the appearances of a man, in a fit of benevolence, deciding to make mankind out of clay or whatever it was. Moving on , we , our species , have climbed quite a few rungs on the evolutionary ladder, from one celled organisms , to , well , I don't know how to describe the complex organism we are now . It is the world's best machine. It is perfect. It has a BRAIN! And what lies ahead? What do we evolve to now? A super-species, taller, stronger, faster, maybe smarter? Maybe, maybe not. What I think is that, the next evolutionary hurdle, for a human who is truly evolved so far, would try to grapple with the Reality. The Real Reality. To escape the pull of this Virtual World. The moth and the Maya. The delusion we call Worldly Life. To achieve a state of super consciousness, where we resonate with the universal spirit. Where you, in not a very human way, realize, that you are the universal spirit. There is no I or You. Where you become the part of the giant web of pure energy permeating the entirety.

That is what "Aham Brahmasmi" is all about, I guess. That is what I understood of it. That seems like the ultimate Evolutionary jump to me. And what happens next? I think that state would be beyond the 4 dimensions of space and time, so there would be no next. Again , just a speculation . Thank you, Dj. gave me some good food for thought. And everyone, please feel free to correct or supplement my understanding of “Aham Brahmasmi”.

Things(supposed to be ten) That Make Me Emotional

2009-04-23T19:58:00.006+05:30

This is a tag, by IHM. I was supposed to write about 10 things, in brief, I guess, that make me emotional. But I went berserk and wrote about everything that makes emotional, sentimental, angry and mental. These are the things that make me cry, and make me gnash my teeth.

1. There are 1.15 Billion people in India. That is one huge number. That is one fifth of humanity. If those 1.15 were to even shout in unison, once, it would deafen everyone, maybe trigger quakes. It would not just be a force to reckon with, it would be The Force, with or without nuclear weapons. We are yet to see that day. Prime reason to be emotional.

2. Bharat Mata makes me emotional. A mother who has children, so eager and willing to desecrate her. A mother who is not even considered as their mother by quite a few. A mother who was hacked into pieces once, and if things don't change, will get hacked into a few more.

3. The Political Leaders - Especially when the elections are around. Once in every 5 years you get to see what a wonderful and vibrating democracy you are a part of. The Political Circus cum World War, all gunning for Power. Forgetting the real issues, and making up fake ones. About PM's to be from a list of people, who are too old, too foreign, too meek or too corrupt and uncouth to do justice to it. And the latest addition to this beautiful and bright bunch of desh-ka-netaa’s is our very Gandhigiri-walla Munnabhai, who has lost it, completely. The wife. The Political Party. The Public Speeches. What next? I hope the Late Sunil Dutt jee's soul is at peace.

4. Mahapurush Bhagat Singh and the Other Lost Heroes of India. Chanakya. Swami Vivekananda. Netaji Bose. Aurobindo Ghosh. When we not busy singing and dancing over Gandhijee, who it seems, was the only great person to have been born on this land, we can also try and study these heroes as well, who might have been less in stature but were no less great.

5. Riots - It is not a war, it has no rules, there is no Geneva Convention, and it is just a clash between two groups, no holds barred and barbaric. And it brings shame, infamy, unrest to the country, and power to the corrupt.

6. Secularism, the way it is practiced in India, makes me emotional. The twisted, contorted, I-will-use-it-as-it-suits-me form of it. The Madani and Pragya Singh kind. The Karunanidhi,Vaiko,Raj Thackeray and Varun Gandhi kind . If one deserves the NSA, then so do the others, or at least something similar. No political party is secular. If you ask for votes on the basis of religion, caste or language, or race (Aryan-Dravidian bull shit), how can you claim to be secular? What gets my goat is that some get away with this hypocrisy. This bandying with “secular” and “communal” is funny at times.

7. Aryan-Dravidian, North-South, Illad & Ghati & Bhaiiya and Chinki make me emotional. That people think that North Indians are descendants of Aryans and South Indians are Dravidians . Do I fucking look like an Aryan descendant to any one ? I am 5 feet 8 inches tall. I have black hair and brown eyes. And if I had not been afraid of getting a tan, I would have gone out in the sun more, and been darker. The concept of a race, once again, Western, that has been imposed on the Indian mind. How will we have one race, and by race I mean a group of people with common features. India is so diverse from its tip to toe, and people change accordingly. The Kashmiris will be fairer, and the Keralites will be darker on an average. When the body is subjected to more heat, it shrinks in size, and that could be the reason why the people from Haryana or Punjab are taller. We do not have been one religion, race, or language to be one nation, but one in spirit.

“Race does not make an Indian, religion does not make me an Indian, but history does, and in the long run, it is History which counts” – Ruskin Bond

8. Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, 26/11 and the entire episode. There was this banner with the images of the brave men who died, and Major Sandeep was one of them. And every time, I looked at it while walking to work, it made me cry. It was hard controlling my tears in public, I used to hide behind my handkerchief and bite my tongue. Every time, without fail. I don't know why, but it seems as if I lost someone who was close to me. Someone I had never heard of, had never seen before, but still was like a brother. That makes me very emotional and sentimental. It makes me cry and wince that He was martyred and his father had to face that AcchuthNandan. The fact that almost 5 months have gone by and yet nothing concrete has taken place. The fact that on 26th November 2010 , a bunch of fools led by Ms. Sar-kha, literally, eat-my-head(I dare not use her actual name, lest I am sued as well) would light multicoloured scented candles for those who died , sing patriotic songs , air this on the 24/7 Crap Spewing News Channels, and then carry on with their lives . And I would wring my hands, curse in the choicest expletives and write another post.

9. Rape, the Indian sex ratio and the plight of Women
Why do men rape? Why do they eve tease? Why do they molest? Why do they resort to acid attacks? Why do they burn their woman for dowry? Why do they want sons alone? Who will those sons marry (if those poor guys become gay out of frustration, may be they will be lynched or ostracized for being so)? Why do they beat their wives? Why do they kill their daughters? What honour does it bring to a man when he takes the life of a woman who is her own flesh and blood? What dishonour does a woman bring to her family when she is the victim of some twisted bastard's uncontrollable lust?

I wonder whether being a father of daughters would be good idea at all. I would rather be childless than raise a daughter in this hell hole of a world .Where at every step, and every moment, you have to be on guard. WTF do we do about it? This world cannot exist without women. The Indian sex ratio suggests that woman kind is a like fast depleting natural resource, and I say resource, because that is the way most of the existing ones are treated like. The subject of family honour, the object of sexual desire and so on and so forth.

I remember reading about the rape of that Girl in Delhi by a gang of 10 or so scum bags, and how incensed and agitated was I. And now you have this TISS episode. I have often asked this question, and never found a real answer. I have often tried to analyse the psyche of a rapist, and never could arrive at a concrete conclusion. And I still cannot fathom, why? Why do men rape? What is it that manifests itself into an inspiration to rape? And if the reason is pent up sexual energy or sexual frustration, then why not go to a prostitute, which inspire of being illegal, is in every nook and corner of the country. And about prostitution, the leaders have all the time to be secular and communal, and preserve culture and language, but they have no time for these women. Even theirs is a lost cause, like the Kashmiri Pundits.

The things I would like to do, personally, to a rapist would definitely get me certified as a psycho. So I won't mention it.

This episode of South Park,Eat,Pray,Queef , sends a very subtle message. It is very disgusting and will gross most of you out, but the underlying message is about the discrimination between men and women. That is the brilliance of South Park. It shocks, and awes. Read the plot, if you can’t bear to watch the entire episode.

10. The plethora of brain dead and stupid TV shows, the 24/7 news channel, advertisements and movies, reality TV - The incredibly stupid advertisements brimming with corniness, the mass of brain-cell-killing movies that is thrown at us in the name of entertainment. Are we brain dead? Do they want us to be brain dead?

The apple of MTV’s eyes – Roadies and Splits Villa! It never ceases to amaze me, as to how dumb can people get. What makes me sad that it is so immensely popular. The kind of young people that participate in it make me even sadder. They are the youth of this country , my peers , my generation . Is the brain a vestigial organ for them, for this Pepsi sponsored Youngistaan ? And I have never come across a stupider coined term . Youngistaan? What the hell is that ! And it seems that the more you abuse and cuss in these shows, the more they get to bleep it and the cool quotient increases tremendously. It all becomes so "real", doesn't it? What the BLEEP!

And the news channels, with their pretentious holier-than-thou anchors. What the hell do they think of themselves? They so clearly are sided with political parties. It seems as if they are running a propaganda campaign of their own. Remember what Karunandhi said about Ram, “Who is this guy? Which engineering college did he go to?” Now let us substitute Karunandhi with Modi and the religious character with Jesus or the Prophet? What do you think will happen? Sarkha, Turdesai and Sadi-garika would go medieval on Modi, or any leader who dares say that. There will be a huge hullaballoo about how intolerant and the communal is the party in question. May be, one of these brilliant anchors might take a telephonic interview of Sarkozy, who will air his views on religious intolerance in India.

Every time I switch on my TV, I find it very hard not to fling a brick at it. The truly idiot box makes me intensely emotional.

p.s. How do I know so much about the dumb shows aired on MTV? Thanks to my flatmates, Anshuman and Ankit (names changed), are stuck to the TV set like moths to a flame, when those shows are on. One of them ogles at the women, while the other cries when their favourite fool is about to get the boot. They metamorphosize into a dumber and shallower versions of themselves!

11. Ramayana and Mahabharata – I have done some research over it, and I think it is a part of our History, and not mythology. It is a very personal belief, and I do not expect everyone to endorse my views. And my research on it is far from over. Even if you don’t consider it as History, it is a part of our heritage and culture. There are so many valuable lessons to be learned from it.

A parallel, I think that would make some sense. Imagine that India, through some stroke of luck, gets a truly great leader, who is popular across the length and the breadth, a leader of the masses, and one who is a good human being as well. Now, the family of this Great Indian Leader is taken hostage by a group of terrorists (who do not belong to any religion). And unless their demands are met, you know what happens. So, what do you think should our GIL do? Should he sacrifice his family for the Nation, or should he take the risk of fulfilling the terrorist's demands, and hope for the best? What would you do? Would you be a great leader or a good husband ?

I think this is the kind of choice Shree Ram had to face, when he had to banish Sita Mata at the behest of a two bit washer-man. But then, that is what Ram Rajya signifies, I guess. The King throws away his own wife, whose purity is unquestionable, to appease one of his "praja”, a mere washer-man. Personally, I would say this to the washer-man, "GFY”. But that does not mean the Ramayana has nothing to teach us. And the same goes for Mahabharata. The injustices Karna and Sita had to face do not imply that all is bad. No, all is well that ends well, and it is not a perfect world. Dismissing these two as mere mythology is not fair. It is quite possible, that Krishna and Ram were not avatars of Vishnu, but just two very great men who walked this Earth. Quite possibly, a few of the accounts could be exaggerated. I think it is history, even if blown out of proportion. I think it is quite possible they had technology; for even Robert Oppenheimer believed so (I had to quote a Westerner's name to make it more credible). Knowledge is cyclic, and not linear. And most importantly, I would rather put a question mark than dismiss it as BS.

12. The Rise of China. It is the single largest threat to India. And we are busy pretending to be secular, gyrating with our ever vibrating democracy, while those Red Devils are heading towards Global Supremacy. We are not even strong enough to be an Asian Power, and yet, every now and then, some educated ostentatious fool would come up with an article propounding how we have become a power or soon will be. What a load of crap. We will never be a power with Naxalite in our yard. We will never be a power with riots and terrorist attacks. And, the worst of all, China might do a 62 again, and we won’t even know what hit us.

13. Regional Parties - There are so bloody many of them. The more they are lesser the chances of a stable government. Each with their own ideology cut-out, their pretence to be secular or communal, their quest for the rights of “their” people. You may think otherwise, but I think it reflects that we are becoming an even more divided society. If only we could have a bi or a tri party system.

14. Saviours /Critics of Hindu Dharma – People who misunderstand and misinterpret Hindu culture, Hindu Religion , Hindu Philosophy and Hindutva(the elements of being a Hindu) , and use it to their advantage to win some votes or popularity , by either pretending to be the protectors or by criticizing it incessantly . I despise both the kind.

15. Religious Intolerance – I am not a kaffir. I am not a heathen. Neither is my religion the best, nor is yours. I won’t convert. I won’t let you proselytize. And never will I ask you to convert to mine. If you believe in God, then I am his child as you are. Even if you don’t, I am still a human, as you are.

16. Humanity. Yes. We, People, the homosapiens, this species make me emotional and angry. "Oooo, we are humans, we cook our food, and sleep on beds, live in houses, use technology at the drop of a hat and speak intelligible languages. We have a societal structure and we are smart. And that makes us better than the rest of species. We are so precious. " . And yet we kill, we murder, we never run out of reasons to fight over, are raping this planet every instance of our existence. Yes, we are intelligent, but what the fuck is that good for? Is our evolution and development in sync with our natural environment? How much of our technology is green? Our pretence of being better than the so called lesser species is farcical, and we should not be allowed to compare the lesser of our own species to animals. You know, phrases like "worse than an animal" or "animal like behaviour”. Animals are way better than us. I guess it is the curse of having a much more evolved brain. It should come with a statutory warning "The actions undertaken by the individual under the influence of this organ may be injurious to the planet”.

17. Casteism - How dumb do you have to be, to engage in a battle over caste? The differences of race and religion are visible, but what about those of caste? You can say that certain castes are forward and certain backward, because of their financial standing, but even that is not the case always. Poverty strikes all. And yet, we vote, we fight, we marry and we socialize on the basis of caste. May be urban India does not do it that much, but this DOES go on in rural India, and not just in the BIMARU states, but throughought the nation.

As IHM said, there are quite a few things which make me angry. And instead of 10, I got 17, so far. :) They make my blood boil and BP soar so much, that at times I think, living in the world as a regular person would make me lose it someday. I should move to the Himalayas, and start my "vanprastha" and take a stab at "moksha". ;) Okay, even if I don't do that, it would still keep me cooler and saner. I guess I have said it all, or rather most of it. So if I die in a terrorist attack or a riot, I would have the satisfaction that I ranted most of it out.

The Footballer and The Physicist

2009-04-19T20:39:00.005+05:30

A Physicist explaining football to his son

"It is a very interesting game son . Specially from the point of classical mechanics . 22 Human bodies and 1 spherical object, in a system , not to mention , the supposedly neutral entities called the referees . So many different variables . The speed of the wind, the moisture content, the sound energy disseminated by the cheering fans, what an incredibly dynamic and chaotic system. And amidst all this, the genius of football , the men chasing down a ball , which , to be at the precise moment, has to be in a trajectory towards the goal, such that the paths of the two bodies involved in 3 dimensional motion , namely the goalie and the ball, do not intersect each other, and the goal gets home. It is such marvelous sight, the ball entering the goal in an environment having so many different, dynamic and some times totally independent variables.If you look at it mathematically, the probability that a goal occurs, when you take into account the number of different mutually inclusive and exclusive events, is astounding . That is why my son, Football kicks ass . Everything fits together with such precision . It is an absolute delight for the senses of an individual with a logical and analytical brain , and a keen observation . It is a drug for the brain , the way it makes my brain throb with joy , my child ."

A footballer explaining football to his son

"It is magic my boy . The feel of wind in your face . The roar of the fans . The smell of sweat and dust . The touch of leather against your skin . The clashing bodies . The adrenaline rush . The blood, the crash and the thump . The high of a goal . And the low of a miss . It is almost pulsating with its own life . And at the end of the day, as you strut around the arena like a modern day gladiator , with your opponents bowing, and your fans and team-mates howling with joy, almost orgasmic , it is one of the most wonderful experiences . Every important win and loss, is a triumph of your spirit over life or losing a bit of yourself . It is heavenly, and extremely intoxicating. The best high you can ever get . It is so pure,pristine and beautiful . It is a drug for the heart, the way it makes it soar with joy , son ."

This is how I perceive two people, a footballer and a physicist might explain the game of football to their :
- son
- daughter
- randomStrangerWhoMightExpressInterestInFootball

Two very different perspectives .

And now replace physicists and footballers with Theists/Atheists/Priests/Rabbis/Scientists/Preachers of Different Faiths. And football would be God,the omnipresent,omniscient,omnipotent, entity, the parody of which is the flying_spaghetti_monster , the white bearded gentleman with a big booming voice wearing white robes and a staff of Gold, Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty, the Universal Spirit , the Guy some think is not there , the Guy some think is there but not listening , the Guy whom you guys think wants you to fight over whose way of dialing the Guys number is the best , the Guy who could actually be a Gal OR the Guy who is neither a Guy or a Gal but beyond the triviality of names,images,forms and sex, and yet you still make a big deal of it .

How crazy does it really sound ?

Empty Spaces

2009-04-04T19:33:00.002+05:30

Empty houses
Empty schools
Empty parks
Empty temples
Empty graveyards
Empty roads
Empty streets
I see the world empty.
Is it really empty
Or am I deluded.
Even if I am,
But what about our hearts?
I feel a void there created by us
When we lied and didn't repent,
When we stole and didn't repent,
When we raped and didn't repent,
When we killed and didn't repent,
When we turned our motherland into abattoirs,
For all the" good reasons"
Of course we didn't repent then
After all it was done for a "good reason"
Place a mirror.
Which one is the object ?
Which one is the reflection?
What is reality ?
What is illusion?
Empty world or empty heart?
Is emptiness engulfing us
or are we engulfing the emptiness?
I feel empty
I feel full,
Empty of goodness
Full of evil.

p.s I did NOT write this poem . She did . And I am proud of her . :)

Riot

2009-03-27T14:59:00.004+05:30

The comments (including mine) on this post by Nita sparked off these thoughts. What good does a riot do? Bad for the stability, bad for the economy, bad for the image of the nation. And we bloggers get a new subject to rant about. Group A intends to humiliate or crush the spirit of Group B, they go medieval on them. Well then, after a while some one or the other from Group B will be plotting for revenge, and the whole shebang will start off again. The debate on the post was on Firaaq, an (Pakistani) award winning movie which depicts the suffering of the Muslim community in the Godhra riots. Many, including me, said that the movie is one-sided, and should have included the mention of the train burning incident as well. The others ranted on, how a riot, is not about the faith, but the death of innocent beings. So on and so forth. Read the rest to get a better idea. But then, is a riot, a contest of some sorts? Is it so, that the community which loses more members is to be sympathized with more, or the community to bear the brunt first gets a justification for the brutality with which they descended upon the others. Do we keep a score, and use that to settle the argument? Movies like Firaaq do not justice to tragedies like Godhra. What you need is objectivity. We need to look beyond who started or ended it, the blame game. We need to condemn the action and the reaction equally. A truly great and sensible movie would be one, which showed you everything, told the story in its entirety. It wouldn’t appeal too many, the pseudo-seculars or the minority-bashers, and it won’t get an award from Pakistan for sure, but that would do justice to it. A fellow blogger remarked, “You don’t need to belong to a particular community to speak truth. Nandita Das is a hindu and she bothered to empathize”. But then, if you are empathizing/sympathizing on the basis of religion, then it is not true empathy or sympathy. How different is the grief of a mother whose child was burnt from that of a one, whose child was hacked to pieces? Rioters and the inciters of those riots should be doled the harshest possible punishment, irrespective of the cause and effect; these episodes spread sociological cancer. And if being rational while analyzing such incidents makes me a “dhobi ka kutta” (thank you Indyeah), neither here nor there, then so be it.

Remember the movie, Desh Drohi? How a “North-Indian” comes to Mumbai, gets his ass whopped, how he kicks Marathi ass back, and all that crap. That again, is one hell of a flawed movie, and lame as well. If I were to ever make a movie on that subject, I would start off with the root cause, the non-development of UP/Bihar. How the “great leaders” of UP and Bihar let the states rot. How they are the front runners in the BIMARU group. And then move on to Mumbai and blame the likes of Thackeray. I am a Bihari, but an Indian first and foremost, and in that spirit, it would not be fair to put all the blame on one man and his party. It is not a black and white world. This is not just a Marathi or a Bihari problem, but an Indian one, and it should treated objectively.

People lose their rationality and sense of objectivity when it comes to their own. Their “own” could be their religion, language, caste, colour, city, state or sexual-preference, possibly everything except their nation. For me, India is my own. If not, then how can I claim to be a true Indian?

A poem I wrote as a teen, years ago, after the Godhra aftermath.

A riot broke in my land
Blood flowed and flooded,
through every hand,
Man slaughtered man, and,
in vengeance was butchered by him.
A father and son were amongst those,
One perished, the other vowed revenge.
But when the time to kill came,
He heard the cries of a weeping mother,
All around him were grieving losers,
Their cries pierced the depths of heart,
The tears were many, the anguish same,
His hands froze, the malevolence maimed,
In death, he saw us all as one,
For they had no religion, once they were gone.

p.s. Someday, I will make a movie on the Kashmiri Pandits, and then fast until death if the Pakistani Government refuses to acclaim,accredit and award that movie. I am banking on the fact that :-

1. I will win a lottery to finance the movie, and cast Nandita Das .
2. There will be a few Pandits left by then .
3. The Land-of-Pure would still be on the face of this Earth .

The Obama Deception

2009-03-17T00:13:00.005+05:30

The Obama Deception is a movie , made by a guy called Alex Jones , famous for being a conspiracy theorist . I was curious when I saw the title , even more after watching the trailer , and stunned when I started watching it . It is one hell of a shocker . For instance , Obama said that there would be a cap($500,000) on the salary of those executives , whose companies have been bailed out by the Government . The movie says that this rule is applicable for those companies only which are growing and coming up , i.e. no cap for those which have already been bailed out . Apparently , this was in the fine print. This movie is full of whoppers . God knows what the truth is . Just watch it , even if to get a few kicks out of it . Now I shall go , finish the movie , and go gaga over it . :)

Random Thought #7 : Gift of God

2009-03-09T00:06:00.003+05:30

I read a joke. Here it goes .

The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed and again the congregation approved the increase. Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expenses. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister. Finally, the minister stood up and shouted "Having children is an Act of God!" An older man in the back stood and shouted back "So are rain and snow, but we wear rubbers for them!"

The joke sparked off these thoughts. Many a times have I come across these words - "Bacche to Bhagwan/Allah/Whatever-name-you-use-for-your-God ki den hai", and the ones who say it have a dozen kids, give or take a few ; and it suddenly struck me, are they? Really? Maybe, for a childless couple who have been trying too hard too long, it can be looked upon a great gift. Personally, the birth of twin daughters to millions of families in India would be one hell of a gift for India, given the seemingly FUBAR-ed sex-ratio. But for the rest of the cases, I say BS. What a load of crap! WTF , literally . A horny husband wants to do it, may be the wife does not let him that often, so he decides to cook up a solid excuse for it. Quite possibly his priest/padre/imam/rabbi helped him figure out a good one. "Woman, children are the gift of God, and refusing a gift from God is blasphemy”. Take that. Irrefutable logic. The magical wand of God/Religion was waved over it,and lo and behold, you have a football team. But that was then. One might say, that people were encouraged to have a lot of children , in the name of God , as the infant mortality rate was higher , and the average life expectancy lower . But then again , no longer true , relatively speaking . 6.5 Billion people and counting ! We should thank God for contraceptives. All I have to say is, please feel free to engage in this activity as much as you want to , but don't call it an act of God , and the by-product , His gift . But if men can kill in the name of the Merciful One, why not this?

On a side note, I remember reading about the Chinese manufacturing/distributing very cheap TV sets, for/to the masses, as a population-controlling measure. You know, keep the guys entertained through other means, as for most of them, being poor, it is the only recreational activity. Interesting, eh? But will that work in India, given that most of the shows/movies aired do not necessitate a functioning brain. So ultimately, the blood of the male animal will not stay up there. Just a silly thought. :D

Corny jokes apart, we are heading towards some very tough times, given that we already are 6.5 Billion strong, and that number won’t go south short of WW III or the Yellowstone going boom. It seems to me, that most of the problems we face today are somehow related to the mass of the humanity that occupies earth. If the people inhabiting this planet were in sustainable numbers, who could have been fed, clothed and sheltered, then those who want to wage wars using religion, caste, creed, colour,nationality,race or their own asinine ideology would be out of a lot of soldiers. We think we are evolving , as a civilization, but are we? Leave alone the jackasses who want to go back to medieval times, what about the rest of us. Our technology, is mostly un-green, it makes our life easier, but creates a mess as well. It sounds very pessimistic, but nothing other than a disaster of biblical proportions, either natural or man-made, would restore the balance.

A thought provoking movie – Children of Men. Maybe, this what Mother Nature has in mind for us.

Source for the joke

We,the Foolish

2009-03-01T13:35:00.001+05:30

1: One bunch of fools burns an idol (Kali Maa, for instance)/attacks a church/desecrates the Koran/insults the 10th Guru/spews venom about a language or region or religion/you-get-my-drift, inspired by some insanely foolish idea/thought/ideology/man/I-hope-you-get-my-drift.

2: The second bunch of fools, who could and should do something about it, do nothing. Maybe, their hands are proverbially tied.

3: The third bunch of fools, who shouldn’t be doing something drastic, irrespective of their proximity with the Zone where the incident took place, attack/burn (living and non-living entities)/rape the people belonging to the community of Bunch 1, who, in all likelihood had nothing to do with the incident.

4: The fourth bunch of fools, who wield the power, and are elected by all the other fools, sit-on-their-asses, wait and watch , spell check the speech they will deliver once the blood-and-the-dust settles down , ruminate over how can it be used to gain some political mileage . I speculate.

5: The fifth bunch of fools do some Live-Action-Reporting , preferably in English , present a one-sided story , unequivocally condemn the other-side , bandy with words like freedom,democracy,secularism,Gandhi,truth, non-violence, constitution etc., have open air/closed room debates on it , air their own opinions , go blah,blah and blah till your ears bleed and file a law-suit or two if anybody dare criticize their incessant idiotic rant. These bunch of fools, apparently, no nothing about investigative journalism (my personal opinion).

6: Bunch 3 and Bunch 4 swing into action. They go blah, blah and blah this time, count the dead bodies, start the blame game, declare compensatory packages, justify the actions of Bunch 1 or 2 depending upon their ideology and appoint another bunch of fools, which go by the name of “an enquiry commission”.

7: Bunch 6 , the enquiring bunch , fools around , digs up some stuff , makes-up the rest(Once again, I speculate) , presents a report , hopefully in a few years time from the incident . This report does nothing but makes a fool out of you. By this time, either Bunch 1 or Bunch 2 has swung into action again. So all this tom-foolery starts again.

8 : Bunch 7 , everybody else(you and I included) , who have been fooled through 1 to 7 in varying degrees and different ways, scratch their head , wonder what the hell the truth is , question the who,why,where,how and what of the now years old incident, talk about it , may be blog about it , and sigh dejectedly . :(

Bunch 5, is still going on and on and on. I loathe Bunch 5. If I were a cannibal, I would munch that bunch. I wish I was rich enough to fling a brick at my TV every time one of them came on. I wish I was even richer to start my own TV channel , and hire Russel Peters to make fun of them , 24/7 . Why don't they shut up ?

Fool me once , shame on you , fool me twice , shame on me , fool me so bloody many times that I have lost count , Welcome to India .

The Machinations of the MSM

2009-02-27T04:39:00.006+05:30

Something bad happened in Barak Valley, Assam in January. Some miscreants belonging to a particular faith barged in to a place of worship of a different faith, and desecrated it. The inspiration for this atrocity being religious conversion .Now what does come to your mind? Did you jump to the conclusion that it was BD or its kind who were the desecrating miscreants? Ha, you are SO wrong. And the reason is very obvious. If it had been these Hindu terrorists, you would have heard about it, without fail. The Main-Stream-Media would never ever let go of such a juicy episode like this, they would have milked it till it was dry, and then milked some more. You would have seen the symbol of Om against the backdrop of something visually disturbing, with a two-bit sinister score as well. But do you remember anything like that? I, for sure don’t. Once again, as in the case of the KVS logo change episode, may be, I missed it again. But then, my twisted mind tells me that this is could not have escaped the radars of the MSM had it been the Hail-Hindutva boys. So what really happened? Well, some missionaries burnt the idol of Goddess Kali and damaged the temple as well. Shocking incident. Very disturbing. And yet, it was nowhere in the news. I googled it and I could not come up with any article by any major news vendor. And I concluded this:-

1.Was this given a miss-in-the-baulk, on account of it taking place in Assam, a state of the North-East, land of the “Chinkies”, about which , we don’t give a rat’s ass, it seems ?

2.Was this not reported by the MSM because the aggressors were Christians and not the vile and virulent Hindus?

The fact that the only source of available information is either a blog/site associated with Hinduism/Hindutva/Right-wing or one of rather unknown origins, does question the credibility of the information. But about all the sources I have seen so far, report the same thing. May be they tried a little of Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V. But assuming everything crazy that I have suggested so far is true, why the hell was this NOT reported? In the spirit of fairness and truthfulness, every attack on every religion should get the same attention by the media. I am not gnashing my teeth in anger, as I still have my doubts. And there is only reason I could come up in the favour of it not being reported. They would have sparked off riots for sure. If the murder of a man could, then the apparent murder of a Goddess would have caused all hell to break loose. Which creates a moral/ethical dilemma. Is it right to filter out events like these in the larger interests of the nation? Or will covering them up ultimately result in more mayhem eventually? And, can this entire episode be labeled as a machination of the main stream media? The more I look for answers, the more questions arise.

Sources - 1 , 2 , 3 and 4

Belated WTF

2009-02-23T20:31:00.013+05:30

This happened the last year. And I found about it now . Apparently , caste based reservation was just not enough for dear old Arjun Singh jee, he had to do this as well . Although it is a trivial matter , to me it appears to be a reflection of the bickering political mindset . This is the old logo of the Kendriya Vidyalay Sansthan .

And this is the spanking new one , courtsey , the Union Minister for HRD .

Where did the Lotus and the Rising Sun go ? A sane mind wouldn't bother much , but then , I am not sane . :) Why was the logo changed ? Did the old one not reflect the spirit of KVS ?

"But when a board headed by Human Resource Development (HRD) Minister Arjun Singh decides to omit the ‘lotus’ symbol — also the BJP party symbol — from the emblem to enable a “broader reflection of the national ethos”, it’s hard not to see any politics in the act. This new emblem, say officials, was chosen from amongst several proposed by the art teachers of various KVs and after a close selection in which HRD minister Arjun Singh is said to have taken keen interest"

We can't even call it De-saffronisation . The fact that KV's logo had a lotus and a rising sun had nothing to with the BJP , KVS was founded in 1965 , and there was no BJP then .

“'We have retained the Sanskrit motto taken from the Upanishads and that is very much reflective of the Indian culture. The new logo was decided upon after several deliberations and keeping in mind the present spirit of education and the scientific temper and globalization of education besides the changed National Curriculum Framework (NCF) that has broadened horizons and also focused on computer education 'said Dr. U.N. Singh, Joint Commissioner (Academics) - KVs "

By what rationale is the lotus and the rising sun not a part of Indian culture , if a Sanskrit shloka from the Upanishadas is ? I think even that motto could have been stricken off , citing that it does not reflect the secular nature of our country . So what comes next ? Changing its slogan from "Vidya sarvate shobhte" to something stupid in Italian or Latin to please the Mistress ? Banning the symbolic use of lotus altogether , as it is used by their political rivals as a party symbol ?

This is a very small and seemingly insignificant matter , that most of us won't even give it a second thought . But I couldn't help uttering a WTF, albeit a belated one . And given that in a country like ours, where almost everything sparks off a controversy , why did this not ? Why ? I am genuinely very surprised . This is just the kind of excuse any hard-working right-winger would need to create a furore . Was I in a comatose state that I missed the media mention , if any ? And am I making a mountain out of a molehill ? On a side note , what if it had been the other way round , the BJP removing some symbol associated(directly or indirectly) with the Congress ; what do you think would have happened then ?

"Dr U N Singh says that the organisation would rather steer clear of political controversies and pointed out that the BoG had as members not only eminent educationists, officials from various state Governments, directors of both CBSE and NCERT, but also members of the Opposition parties and the logo change was a 'collective decision' arrived at considering the dynamic nature of education."

What if the Minister Sahib had decided to put his foot down ,issued a "farman" that the symbol had to go , and asked his sub-ordinates to cook up a credible enough reason for it . In all fairness , it is quite possible that this was not politically inspired . In all fairness , it is quite possible that I have lost it . But my twisted mind cannot get over the fact that Politics had something to do with it . The way the Congress,the BJP, the Communists etc. are always at each others' throats, no wonder why I cannot digest this easily . It sometimes appears as if they are waging wars against each other , and not against the abstract and the physical enemies of this nation . And elections are around the corner, so it is political World War time . The saddest part is that is that in this war, the face of the enemies within are not clear . A very sad WTF . :(

Image Source - 1 and 2
News Source - Indian Express and Yahoo

Jilted Lovers

2009-02-22T20:23:00.006+05:30

This is a fun post, or rather, supposed to be one. The credit for the contents goes to all the frustrated/desperate/bored super cerebral boys/men who hit on girls with their incredible one/two/three liners, ONLINE. This is dedicated to all the ladies who have received scraps, friend requests, sms’s, emails etc. etc. of the following nature; you have my sympathy . I am afraid I cannot offer any empathy . :) And thanks to the lady who provided me with these gems .

hi...incedent came across 2 ur profile....i like the way u desc. ur self...and nice pics 2...

Was this guy going for indecent? And desc? Desecrate yourself?

....well i stay near Nestle Apt....Opposite Mindspace......so cutie how u doin.....wat do u do....will love to know more ab u..........

I think his mind is full of empty space.

Hey seems to b an imprsve profile while relating to the choice of communities...

As they say , a woman on a social networking website, is known by the communities she keeps .

hi .......how ru ......
ur beautiful.......
how can i leave net. u r online yaar...he he

Well, he definitely took leave of his senses.

why !!! are the other passive faces in your inbox sleeping..... well at least you decided to scrap back... let see how far this goes

I will be damned. This one has a decent command over the English language. But still corny.

hii i am mohsin how are you.hiiiii atually theres nohing to say but would love to b ur frnd......

He should have reminded himself that he had nothing to say when he was typing that.

Hey listen....i just want to check u would like make new PALS??

Two people were asking me about u,
I gave them Ur address and cell no.
They will b visiting u soon.
Their names r Joy n Happiness.
Good Morning................
Have a day

Super duper corny and cheesy .

hello ..m into exports..mumbai..wanna be friendz??

Did he accidentally export his wits/common sense/intelligence to Timbuctoo?

hi there.
mary chritmas.

Poor Mother Mary! :(

Hi friends ....how r u?really ur pic is very beautifull.......I am shock to see u

Hell yeah. And I was shocked when I read this.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii h r u ' be friend ( guy with Dhoni profile pic)

Awesome! A very considerate gentleman. He wants to make sure that the girl doesn’t get lost on her way to his profile. And he chose such a rare picture as well.

hi.........
I KNOW ITS PREETY UNUSUAL TO WRITE SOME ONE A SCRAP..
TO WHOM U HAVENT EVEN SAID HI B4...
BUT DONT KNOW WHETHER ITS UR GORGEOUS FACE....
OR SOMTHIN WRONG WITH MY BROWSER'S BACK BUTTON
IT DOSENT LET ME MOV BACK WITHOUT GIVIN U A COMPLIMENT...

He started off in style. And then got carried away screwed it up. And why blame it on the poor browser when it was your own bheja ?

hello my dear how r u u took that photo from your window

And I bet his brain grew a pair of wings, and flew out of that a window. Must have been a very bored brain too.

Hi Miss
Wat r u doin in Manipal.
Its a gr8 place to chill out at Udupis beach.
Gr8 university u r studying in which.
Miss can v frnds
Trust me slowly and ur trust will never end

Manipal ROCKS, of course . How does one Trust slowly? And if she did that, I bet her self respect would have ended it self .

really its a pleasure to hv a friend like u who looks so simple and sober by her face and just hv concerntrations towards goal nt hving time for extra bakwas activities
happy holi belated to you bye
just keep me in ur mind that is only u give me

Apparently, he has a lot of time for bakwaas activities. And what the hell does “just keep me in ur mind that is only u give me” mean ?

hi manipal...................wanna be friends

But Manipal doesn’t want to be friends with dumbasses like you.

oohhhh!!! a gal visiting my pro ...its rare !!! ..I saw ur pro ur frm MIT ..WOW!!! me too have studied in MIT Electrical !!! right now in bangalore honeywell !!! wat abt u ?????

No wonder a girl visiting his profile is rare.

hey....ssup ....saw ur profile...u luk lyk sum1 who wud b fun 2 kno....n dat makes ME give U a chance 2 get 2 kno ME bettr....as when v seek 2 discover da best in others...v somehow brin out da best in ourselves....lets see if ur fr REAL!

Philosopher cum philanderer. And a fool, of course. But he does have one talent. One look and he will tell you whether you are fun or not.

If i say hi.......u may say whoz this.... if i ask for chat....u may say why??.... if i ask u for a coffee.....u may say wt rubbish.... if i say i liked ur profile......u may say m flattering u..... if i ask for frnship.......u may say m flirting...... so can u plz suggest me hw to start wid a new relation.........???? till u reply i am trying wid a request.........".....m here looking for friends .....wat do u say?

I say that you are a demented dim-witted dumbass. The best way to start a new relation is to ensure that both the parties are of a sound mind. But he clearly needs a trip to the loony bin.

hi, it is nice to be friend of unknown!!!
i don't meet you unless you deserve .

Friend of unknown, eh? I think he is interested in befriending a supernatural being, a ghost of some sorts. And he won't meet unless "she deserves" . Bole to , attitude , huh ?

If I were stranded on a desert island, I wouldn't need three things - I'd just take you
I would probably commit suicide.

I am hungry for real gf, you like??

I think his imaginary girl friend dumped him. And no guesses why. That is why the poor soul is haunting the net, looking for a flesh-and-blood one.

Seriously, how can any guy even think of wooing a girl, or impressing her enough to grant his friend request on any social networking website, with the aid of these super crappy, most corny messages . Was there any blood in their brain when they came up with these masterpieces? And most of these losers also managed to murder/molest/maim the English language as well. It is the curse of the digital age, I guess. But, I did have a good laugh out of them.

p.s. To all the ladies who read this , please feel free to add something from your own experience , if you have had any . :)

Random Thought #6 : In all fairness

2009-02-19T00:03:00.002+05:30

Who came up with the concept of fairness and equality? Who thought of an egalitarian society? From what I know of, this fundamentally flawed world has never been fair or equal, and I don’t think it ever will be. Quite often we use the phrase “double standards” ,contemptuously, but, when in fact , that is what the normal standard are like . It seems as if the tendency to not use the same yardstick (within the right context) for everyone/everything is in every human being. We all are partial; some exhibit that trait consciously, some subconsciously; everyone has his/her own axe to grind. Time to revise the definition, I guess. We have on side, a set of people fighting for fairness, justice and equality , and then those, who are unwilling to level the field. It is like a never ending tug of war .There are times when words like objectivity, impartiality, etc. seem like nothing more than foolish Utopian ideas. Once again, the dichotomy. It is like a pattern. Always there, in almost everything. Why?

Prem Mahotsav

2009-02-11T21:32:00.006+05:30

This is a tag. By Ajit. Write a story on the 6th picture of your 6th folder. Well, I didn’t have 6 folders in my Pictures folder, but this is the 6th picture. I use it as a wall-paper.

And these are my thoughts, and not a story. Under normal circumstance, looking at this picture inspires me to think about Hindu Philosophy, the Big Bang and what-not. These days, it made me think about the people who claim to protect and preserve my religion and culture. The saviours of Sanatana Dharma, if I may. So what defines a culture, in particular Hindu culture? What makes it mine, and not yours? And do we have to delineate? If yes then how do we do that? Would not that process of delineation vary from person to person, as per her/his weltanschauung? Is acting on one's common sense and using one's intelligence a part of it or not? From the eyes of an Indian and a Hindu, culture for me is a living-breathing organism, which is ever evolving. It is a product of the environment it exists in, and it contributes to it as well. And Hinduism, I believe, is designed to survive the worst. It’s all encompassing nature shall ensure that. That is why we still have Hindus living in India and in large numbers too. That is why it is the Santana Dharma. And you cannot dictate terms of evolution to an organism. The process of evolution has no rules except one. To survive the test of time. And it will have to purge itself every now and then, to ensure its existence. But the moment we put a cap on it, we will stunt its growth. I say this as objectively as possible- Valentine’s Day is not a part of Hindu culture. But Love is. A very significant and immutable part of it. One word, Krishna, says it all. And that is why, in an indirect manner, it does become a part of it. V - Day is supposed celebration of love after all . This day never meant a lot to me, as it is more a marketing orgy for the card-chocolate-roses selling kind of corporations, a hallmark holiday. Most of the damned cards are dripping with red and pink and laced with extremely sugar coated quotations, that makes me want to throw up. All the hype and hoopla on V-day is nothing but one giant load of sappy crap to me, if you want to celebrate love, and then why not do it all year round as compared to one particular day? But thanks to Shree Ram Sena, it does mean more to me now. As IHM says, this year, it is more about liberty and freedom, than love. If India is a free country , then the choice to celebrate it is mine and mine alone .

On a side note, I hope all this Moral Police VS V-Day battle is not a part of some secret marketing strategy with the aim of pushing the sales of V-Day related products. Just a stupid thought, no offence to the women who got hurt intended. And in the same-crazy-line-of-thought, I hope Muthalik and his gang were not miffed by Hallmark or Archies, that they decided to, take it out on V-day.

As far as drinking is concerned, I will be damned if somebody says that it is not a part of Indian culture. Going to pubs to drink may be not. But somras and madeera-pan are. And most importantly, isn't drinking a vice and vice alone? Why make a crime out of it? If these guys are so anti-alcohol, then why don't they call for a making India one huge dry country? And why take it out on women alone? Why not men? It is the same liver, isn't it? And why drinking? Why the hell not smoking, which is far more dangerous and deadly than consumption of alcohol? What about prostitution? We know it is illegal in India, and we all know about red-light areas that exist in every bloody city. What about the upliftment of those poor souls, many of whom I believe were forced by circumstances in to the flesh trade. Which just strengthens my belief that what a pathetic charade all this is, to preserve Indian/Hindu culture. By their demented logic, a Hindu celebrating a non-Hindu festival would be against the ethos they are hollering about as well. And they would never dare campaign against banning alcohol or tobacco for sure. The powers that be would not allow them, because alcohol and tobacco together are one the largest sources of revenue. No matter what, “baap bada na bhaiya, sabse bada rupiya” does hold true.

Back to the favourite festival of India now. How this is for an idea, fuse the concept of Valentine’s Day and Krishna, and Indianise it? Make it more spiritual and less commercial. We can call it "Prem Mahotsav" and make Lord Krishna the patron God of it, and lo-and-behold, it is a part of our Sanskriti. And this could be a celebration of love across genders or relationships, sans stupid cards or overpriced chocolates. Pure, pious and pristine Love. What say, the-hoodlums-who-think-they-are-the-Moral Police? And I must add that I do not say this in jest . To all the children of my beloved Bharat Maata , Prem Mahotsav ki hardik shubhkamnayein . :)

A couple of interesting reads

1. Kanchan Gupta
2. The Rational Fool

Tagged !

2009-02-07T00:20:00.010+05:30

Tagged once more. By Miss Indyeah , first name Awesome . :) My apologies Madam , for I haven’t used a lot of personal pictures . So without much more ado , I hereby end my blogging moratorium .

1.The age I will be on my next birthday

Why oh Why ? Why ! Why the Hell ! Why am I not Benjamin Button . While most people celebrate their birthdays , for me it is a sad reminder of the fact that I am getting older . If only I could be 22 for the rest of my life . *SIGH* And the fateful day is March 22nd .

2.A place you would like to travel

That’s a tough one. I would like to travel the Entire world, and go on a space tour as well. To name one, I would like to see the Himalayas. The place doesn’t matter.

3.My favourite food and drink

Hmmm. I am a foodie. I like all kinds of food. I am always ready to take my taste buds on an adventurous trip. But to name one, off the top of my head, Rice and chicken curry . Favourite drink, for now , would a beer called Guinness . It is Irish . And I am sorry if it is against Indian culture, and the moral police de damned, but I like to down one , every now and then . As Harivansh Rai Bachchan jee said , “Hindu aur musalman do , ek magar unka pyaala, bair karati mandir masjid, mel karati madhushala” . Cheers . :)

4.Favourite pet

Dogs . Any given day. Anytime . Loyal, faithful, playful . What else do you need ? And horses would be a second .

And that is Kaara . She is with my family back home . And I miss her . :(

5.Favourite place

Manipal. For ever. I wish I could get that tattooed on my body . I studied there and it was the best time of my life. And I shall love it till the day I die .

That is End point . It was one of my favourite places .

6.Favourite color combination

7.Favourite piece of clothing

Birthday suit. I wish I could wear that every day , every time . Preferably with a leaf or two covering you-know-what . ;) And no picture for this one . But when I am my normal self, trying not to be a misfit of an outcast , I prefer a t-shirt and shorts . And barefoot .

8. Favourite songs .

It is this one .
Click Madi
:D And please do tell me what your reaction was .

Jokes apart , I don’t have on absolute all time favourite . So pardon me for the excesses , I will name a few .

Mad World – Gary Jules
Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin
Behind Blue Eyes – The Who
The Unforgiven – Metallica
Coming back to life – Pink Floyd
Dance of Death – Iron Maiden
Braveheart Theme Song – Enya
Play with fire – The Rolling Stones
Riders on the Storm – The Doors
Maa Tujhe Salaam - A R Rehman

I have named quite a few, so I will stop now .

9. Favourite TV Show(s)

10. Full Name of my significant other .

Hmmm . Her first name would be - Crazy-enough-to-fall-for-me . Her middle name would be - Patient-enough-to-bear-me And the last name - Brave-enough-to-take-the-plunge . Time alone shall tell who turns out to be my better half . I hope she turns out to be better , and not bitter .

11. City I live in - Bengaluru/Bangalore . Garden city . IT . Pubs ( :P to the Moral Police ) .

12. Screen name / nick name - Kislay . Always been Kislay . Except while playing Counter Strike , I am always me .

13. First job - Software Engineer . Always wanted to code since I was a kid .

14 . Dream Job - President of the Indian Moral Police Force . :D I shall ban everything directly or indirectly related to the WEST . There shall no more be a direction called West . Manage with three for the love of our Indian culture . The westerlies shall not blow as well . They hamper the digestion of Indian food , lead to constipation, and there fore are detrimental to our bhartiya sanskriti . I would even ban the letters W-E-S-T . Take that !

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life " . That would be my dream job .

15. Bad habits I have .

Day-dreaming . Sleeping . Lazing around . To name a few . I have many . :) I am a bad boy .

16. My Worst fear

I fear that I will turn against my own principles some day .

17. The one thing I would like to do before I die .

A re-union road-trip to Om beach , Gokarna with my close friends .

18. The first thing I would buy with $ 1 Million

My freedom . From the vicious cycle of materialistic pursuits . I will ensure that I never have to worry about food,clothing or shelter ever again . So that I will be free to pursue any interest of mine .

19. My Favorite credo(s)

Sab moh-maya hai . :)
Eat , drink and be merry . :D
Live and LET live . :-|

20. Time to be creative . I will add one of my own . If you were to get a tattoo , what would it be , and where would it be ?

I would get 4 . A barcode on the back of my neck , for fun . An Om on right arm . A Pi on my left . The symbol of my faith on my left arm , and the symbol of my Science on my right . And one swastika , NOT the Nazi one , on my chest . Smeared in saffron,white and green . Yes Mesdames and Messiurs, I shall wear my love on my chest .

Time to pass the baton . I don't think someone ever took it from me , except once . So , instead of naming people , I will just tag my entire blogroll . If your name is on it , you are tagged . If you are game enough , do the work . :)

Virginity

2009-01-12T00:14:00.005+05:30

Losing it is a big deal. For men, it is a matter of pride, even if they are not married, for nobody is ever going to find out. It is something you boast about, and describe to your friends in a vainglorious fashion. And celebrate it. But not for the ladies I guess, at least in India . The perfect woman stays a virgin till she is married. That is what the society dictates to her. And why is that? What I think is that this conditioning process was initiated just to prevent unwanted pregnancies. You got a daughter, she is young, and but not yet married (read, conveniently disposed off), so you fill her head with stories of virtuousness and chastity, not for the rights reasons but the wrong ones, so that she doesn’t do something which will make you lose face. It is all about that. Isn’t that why the phrase “mooh kaala karwa diya” exists ? I do not think it has anything to do with the ethics or morality associated with premarital sex .May be a little. But definitely much more about the girl getting pregnant and bringing “dishonor” to her family . I don’t remember getting any lecture on staying away from premarital sex. But I sure do know of parents who would indoctrinate their daughter on this issue. And this appears to be one reason. The other apparent reason being, that a non-virgin girl is not pure/pious/pristine enough to get married too. “Real men” want their goods in perfect and un-tampered condition. And how do you ensure that ? By ingraining the belief that virginity is a virtue. And I bet this must be one of the reasons why sons are in more demand. I remember reading this somewhere – In some damned village or the other, on the morning following the ceremonial wedding night, the sheets were checked for blood stains. If there were none, the accursed girl would be beaten/tortured/humiliated to reveal the name of her lover. This would go on till she named someone, even if she was actually a virgin . And now the lover boy, whether he was or not does not matter, had to shell out some moolah as an emollient for the wounded ego/honour of the groom and his family . An absolute win-win for the in-laws of the bride. If the dowry was the cake, this would be the cherry on the top.

Moral of the rant- Do not have daughters. And make sure that those who do, keep them chaste; for your sons. And the honour of the family comes before the life and liberty of a woman. Three cheers to “Man”-kind !

A good movie - Juno. Those who haven’t , do watch it . And a regular but interesting one - Saved.

p.s. A promiscuous woman is more affectionately called a slut . What is the synonymous term for a promiscuous man ?

Random Thought #5 : A Grey Zone

2009-01-03T01:32:00.005+05:30

The World, as I perceive it, is one huge grey zone. No absolutes. Nothing in black and white. I think that no individual can be held completely accountable for his/her actions, and that they are influenced by factors, some quite out of our hands, and some even out of the realms of our sensory perception. A vicious and mystical cycle of cause and effect, where one cause gives rise to an effect, which further creates another cause, and so on. But it would be too chaotic a world to live in, if we did not delineate, defined right and wrong, guilty and innocent, a crime and its punishment, and penalized those who dared to cross over, no matter what the reason was. The societal structure would surely crumble, if we take away that. We obviously do not have a right to decide who lives and who doesn’t, but then, creating societal rules pertaining to that, gives us a false sense of power and security, and may be, even righteousness. And that, I guess, makes it seem less chaotic. But still, born in this world, have to live in this one. We need to have “cut-offs”. To carry on with this madness called life. To serve our biological purpose and die. And to give fools like me fodder for rumination. Three cheers to Anarchism ;)

Nothing is easier than to denounce the evil doer; Nothing more difficult than understanding him." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

A thought provoking movie - The Grey Zone , and song – Behind Blue Eyes by The Who

An Angry Indian - II

2008-12-28T03:37:00.007+05:30

This is partly a response to a comment by Yaamyn on my last post “saveajmalkasab.org”, and partly, my demented droning.

Thank you. I appreciate your candour. But I do not expect my views to be endorsed by anyone. Nor do I expect any empathy from anyone, about how I feel or how badly I am hurt. These are just words; they do not portray my true emotions. I think the friends I live with wonder whether I need psychiatric help or not. One may think that how come an individual who was not even in the proximity of Mumbai attacks or its after effects can feel so bad, but then, that is me, I take it personally. I did not lose anyone personally in this attack , or the countless other attacks in the past 20 years or so ; but I have shed tears , experienced anguish and most importantly , I have lost my fellow Indians , who I foolishly think of as my own .

Maybe, Suzanne Arundhati Roy is a good social activist. She could be the secular humanist that she claims to be. But her latest article is a like the invective of the mother-sister type to my motherland. She has more or less justified the attacks on the Indian soil. And that is my problem. And to be fair, if she is the secular humanist she claims to be, where was she when Kashmiri Pandits were being butchered and driven out of the valley? This is an honest question and I do not know the answer to it. India, at this hour, needs hard-core nationalists, brimming with patriotism, and no other mother-effing "ism" would suffice.

Ajmal Kasab is NOT an Indian. Therefore he should not be defended by one. I bet the law states otherwise, but in the light of what he has done to India, I stick to what I said. Ask the Pakistanis to do it. Or he can defend himself, if no one comes forward. But treat him like the war criminal / enemy combatant he is. That would be FAIR. No Indian should represent him. For me, the legal aid given to Kasab by Indian citizens would constitute an act of utmost disrespect to those who lost their lives. In all fairness, you can be fair only to a limit , a line has to be drawn somewhere .

"The hallmark of an egalitarian society is to provide equal norms and procedures of justice to EVERYONE. Even a Kasab." - It would NOT be egalitarian in the context of 200-400 people who lost their lives. There are exceptions to every rule, and this has to be treated as one .

The fact that some of my fellow Indians object to his not being represented by an Indian is reflection of the sad state of affairs in this country. Even when in dire straits, this nation, which has the hopes of being a superpower, cannot unite and its reaction appears frayed. I strongly feel that those who died are history with just a month gone since that terrible day, and there are many amongst the educated us who are too keen on projecting themselves as democratic and civilized, by making an issue of this. They want to be saints , while all I want is for us to be human , and with the many flaws a human has , say NO , in one loud UNITED voice , to all the goddamned BULL-SHIT that has been going on . I want them to stop being politically correct and learn to call a spade a spade. Quoting Gandhiji and talking about "Truth and Non-Violence" is not good enough. Though I have indirectly suggested that Kasab should be shot like a rabid dog, it is not what I want. That was just a heat-of-the-movement remark. I want him tried, but not defended by an Indian, and then hanged, as he deserves it. I pity the bloody fool, and I pity his accursed parents even more. To be brainwashed to such an extent that one would kill just about anyone, in cold blood. And I often wonder what his parents must be going through. But that does not make me blind to the cold, hard facts that stare you into the face. And I wish people would see that, instead of ranting incessantly about "secularism and democracy" and "truth and non-violence”. And I do not think I have to spell it out for anyone what I am talking about. If you don’t get it, I don’t give a damn. If you do get it and are offended by it, I still don’t give a damn. The others, please, do give a damn!

A thousand curses and eternal damnation to the Antulay’s,Achuthnandan’s and Patil's of India. They reaffirm my faith in the fact that politics has stooped to unimaginably low levels. Ditto to the Roy’s. Does social activism involve cursing your own country and showing it in a bad light to the World? World Citizen my ass! Indian first. One fifth of the entire humanity first. And the way our Government is acting, I feel more like eunuch with each passing day. I pray that I am proved wrong. But then again, the cynic in me says that we will be back to square one soon, peace talks, cricket matches and exchanging artists and culture, and the media will be the co-instigator of this charade. Pakistan will get away with it, and India would have been smelly-middle-fingered again. When a nation could not punish a country as weak and pathetic like Bangladesh for killing and mutilating the bodies of her soldiers, what hope is there? And the BJP was in power in that time. I wonder why “they” did not do anything.

I want peace , and equality , and justice for all , because that is what my "dharma" is all about , BUT , at what price ? The honour of my Mother India? Never! How can I dream about World Peace when my own home is far from peaceful ? We need a Chanakya and "sam,dam,dand,bhed" more than ever . And if you think I am a right-winder as my rants might suggest , let me just tell you , I don't give a fuck about any of the so called "wings" . I am an Indian, a proud, crazy, somewhat jingoistic Indian, and that is where it begins and ends. Long live my Motherland!

"saveajmalkasab.org"

2008-12-21T22:50:00.006+05:30

"saveajmalkasab.org" - A web-site dedicated to ensure and safe guard the rights of Mohammed Ajmal Kasab. The plan is still in the pipelines. My inspiration for this proposed website is "saveafzalguru.org”. My twisted mind says that if a man convicted for attacking the Indian Parliament and the death of mere 7 people is still alive , then why not him ? Let me explain. Afzal Guru is a Kahmiri, right (not a Kashmiri Pandit, who gives a damn about them anyways), and he has suffered a lot under the “Indian Occupation forces”. So that eventually led him to plan and execute that attack. So put your imagination to test , and try and fathom as to how much Kasab , and his compatriots must have suffered , being Pakistanis , which has been the” victim of terror” since its inception, that resulted in them getting involved in Mumbai,26/11 ? That is precisely why our fellow sickular, dhimmi and human-rights activist Arundhati Roy , wrote that 8 pages long article, which more or less justifies terrorist attacks on Indian soil. On a side-note, “we sympathize with those who lost their lives, strongly condemn the attack, and reiterate that Terrorism has no religion”(Sorry, but we had to bore you with all this BS to preserve our image). If this poor and downtrodden man is denied his rights and killed in a public like a rabid dog, it would be the gravest possible act of injustice. So I beg of you my fellow Indians , I implore that you not listen to the “right” side of your brain , but your left one . (Linear reasoning and language functions such as grammar and vocabulary often are lateralized to the left hemisphere of the brain. Is that why right-wingers come off as a bunch of fools? ) . Well, I apologize for cracking that insane PJ. I must say that normal, patriotic, "right"-minded citizens of the democratic republic of India may disagree with me on this one, but my fellow sickular, dhimmi and "human"-rights activists will definitely agree with me. And whether you like it or not, there are quite a few of us around. And our voices are HEARD! So :P to all the others , and three cheers to Roy,Haskar and Setalvad. Here is list of my or should I say our(sickular,dhmmi and human-rights activists) demands.

1. To provide him with scrumptious non-vegetarian food , prepared by the best chef's of our 5 star and 7 star hotels . The fact that he nearly destroyed on the best hotels of India , should be overlooked , as it was just a minor part of the Great Conspiracy hatched by some evil men , whose nationality we are not sure of (We hope it turns out to be the Axis of Evil, India-Israel-USA) . To do otherwise i.e. force veggie food down his throat, would be a further violation of "human rights" of this "HUMAN" . It would be tantamount to persecution of a member of the minority group , as vegetarianism is somewhat of a Hindu thing . And if and when , terrorists hijack some plane or the other , and demand his release , how would an emaciated Kasab resume his duties of being the "Butcher" he is ? The hijackers might even scratch the deal on account of this. And handling an Ak-47 on a vegetarian diet , is no mean feat , nearly impossible . Ask any Pakistani, ooops , I mean anyone who has handled one .

2.A narco-analysis , brain-mapping and every other similar test should be conducted on him . God willing , he may say the truth we all are itching and dying to hear : "Fooled you suckers! I am a Hindu born hate-mongering Hindutva-hailing right-winger . The VHP brainwashed me . The RSS trained me . And I am the brain child of the BJP . Three cheers to Hindutva . Long live Hindu-Zionism". Now this is just a wild guess , but if it were possible to borrow that latest technology from the Japanese , and try and read Kasab's mind , I guess the 2 pictures that are bound to come up is :
1 . One saffron Om in his right-side of the brain
2. One star of the David in the left side
(I apologize again for this was a PJ as well)
Which would conclusively prove what our peace loving neighbour's (led by Zaid Hamid)have been saying all along , he is Hindu-Zionist(Remember the sacred thread on his wrist ?) . In that case, my fellow sickular, dhmmi and human-right-activists will drop vociferating for his cause instantly, and let him fend for himself.

On a side note, we are quite willing to overlook, give it a complete miss-in-the-baulk, if he is subjected to third/fourth/fifth, any degree of torture to make him say that the death of Mr. Karkare and the others was not a co-incidence, but a part of the elaborate and diabolical conspiracy hatched by the Axis of Evil .We would still drop his case, but it would make us and Mr.Antulay, ecstatic for sure.

3. To let him enjoy what he was going to enjoy if he had not been captured alive. The 72 virgins! We should first ascertain what his sexual preferences are, and then cater to it accordingly. Personally, I would be glad if it turned out that he swings the other way. India has a skewed-up sex ratio. We can do without having to share 72 of our best and beautiful with Kasab. But then again, as our good old PM said, the minorities have the first right to our resources (even the human resources), so maybe he deserves even more. Make it 144!

4. Legal Aid. Ajmal Kasab is NOT a Pakistani. We still are not sure of his nationality. There is NO concrete evidence in the favour of this argument. Hell, how can the President of a “peaceful, democratic, victim-of-terrorism” nation like Pakistan lie? If he says he is not a Pakistani, then he is NOT. He is NOT an enemy combatant, caught killing the civilians of India, red-handed. He is NOT an enemy alien. How can he be an alien? India and Pakistan were one nation 61 years ago, right ? He is more like our estranged brother, or cousin. He is just a poor, misled, brain-washed youth, who was also hypnotized and drugged by some evil men (hopefully, the masterminds of the Axis of Evil), to spray bullets till he died. He deserves nothing but the very best of Legal Brains of India. And those legal brains, who agree to help him, need not worry about one thing for sure. For the rest of their lives, no matter what they do, they will be hailed as the true defenders of secularism and human rights. As good as getting it tattooed on your forehead. So go for it lawyers.

5. Ban the VHP/BJP/RSS and every other organization related to them. Why are you surprised? I know it is not directly related to this issue, but what the hell, how we can let go of any opportunity for hollering that? And who knows, it is not out of the realms of possibility that they are directly or indirectly responsible for what happened. After all, they are the Devil's own on this planet and in some known and some unknown ways, responsible for every damn thing that is wrong with this country.

By the way, we won't mind at all if this demand is never met. I mean what will my sickular, dhimmi and human-rights activists brethren and I do, if these devils go out of business. Don't you think Superman will get bored if Lex Luthor stops being bad. We angels do need to keep ourselves busy and in the "right" frame of mind. I mean, isn't an empty mind a devil's workshop?

And if the domain name "saveajmalkasab.org" has not already been registered, please ,my fellow sickular, dhimmi and human-rights activists, get it done ASAP. Long live our kind , may our tribe increase, and death to Hindu-Zionism!

p.s. This is a satire, a seething one, if somebody failed to get it. My apologies if my lunatic ranting, my angry diatribe, hurt any Indian’s sentiments’. I guess I have been more disturbed by 26/11 then I thought . And this is the only way I can express my anger and indignation for what has been going on since that ill fated day. I still cannot understand as to how can someone equate Kasab and his kind to a human? Maybe the definition of “human” has changed. I guess the definition of an Indian has changed as well. Mr. Antulay and his kind could be classified as Indians then.

Random Thought #4 : Mother Earth

2008-12-10T04:04:00.004+05:30

If only every human being could look at our world from above, literally. If only it were possible for each of us to stare at the pale blue dot pulsating with the force of life, as we define it, in the vast universal emptiness. If only, each one of use could see how utterly insignificant are the issues over which we maim and murder, and realize that our homes are not characterized by the languages we speak, religions we follow, or the way we look, but the blob of blue , all alone as we know so far, in this universe. If only we could just be Humans , and nothing else . If only we could see our mother, our planet, our only home, the embodiment of Gaia through our own ocular senses. I bet it would bring tears to the hardest souls. Wishful thinking ? I guess it is even beyond that . Doomsday , where art thou ?

" If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate " - Elbert Hubbard

A Lost Cause

2008-11-28T04:30:00.011+05:30

India is a secular and democratic nation. At least that is what the founding fathers wanted it to be. Somewhere down the line, religion became too big an issue for it to be as secular as it should have been. But what the hell, we still are. It is a good thing, certainly something to be proud of. And I am .But then, every now and then, the secular image takes a beating, and a bad one. The history of India is checkered with incidents of riots sparked off for reasons, from mundane to macabre. I cannot quote statistics to back me up on this, but I guess it is the minorities who are usually at the receiving end, more so than the majority. I feel sorry for them. Genuinely. For I do not think that the systematic rape of a woman of the minority community, commencing with the invocation of Mahadev, does service to my religion. I was aghast when I learnt about Abhinav Bharat. I still do not see any rhyme or reason in their actions. If they plan to blow up the terror camps in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Bangladesh or in India (if there are any), I am all for it. But I do not think bombing Muslim-populated areas would serve any true purpose, other than creating more soldiers for Jihad. What happened in Gujarat was atrocious indeed. I concur. I am not denying that it happened, and on a gruesome scale too. And now comes my bone of contention with the media, the liberals, the intellectuals, the human rights activists and the champions of secularism and democracy.

What greater hypocrisy can there be when anything even remotely associated with oppression of minorities by the Hindu masses makes news, but the Kashmiri Pundits, who have been actually deracinated, and killed by thousands, doesn’t nowadays . Does the sole responsibility of the media and the human rights activists is to act as a watch dog for the minorities alone? Does being in the majority automatically warrants of not being at the receiving end? Kashmiri Pandits, who ethnically, culturally and religiously as well, belong to Kashmir, are living like refugees in their own country. They are rotting in the refugee camps. Quite a few of them died of sun stroke as they were so accustomed to the cold climate of Kashmir that they could bear the heat of northern plains. But all this is too old and too stale, devoid of sensationalism and not TRP-worthy. Maybe it is because of the fact that the number of pundit votes generated won’t be enough to quench the thirst of the blood-thirsty bastards scavenging for votes, that they do not make an issue out of it. If only the pundits could have thrown family planning to the wind and produced at least a dozen kids per family!

“Those to whom evil is done do evil in return”, as said W H Auden. But how many of the Pandits took to terrorism in retaliation? As if this was not bad enough, the UN decided to give some crappy human rights award to Benazir Bhutto. What definition of human is the UN following these days? How does the Bhutto bitch get an award when she so clearly instigated the “ethnic-cleansing” of Kashmiris?

There is so much hue and cry over Kashmir. And how can I forget the recent Amarnath land row? Fuck the Kashmir issue. Kashmir be damned. I don’t give a rat’s ass whether we Indians ever get the land known as PoK back. If it were up to me, I would call truce and settle for the LoC as the International Border. But I do care about the Kashmiri Pandits. Because theirs is a truly lost cause. For a culture as old as the concept of Bharata Varsha and Sanatan Dharma, for my fellow Indians who are as integral a part of this nation and its culture as anyone can ever be, for them my heart weeps. Shame on us. They have been sidelined because they are not in numbers large enough to be on the election manifesto. They do not have enough representation on any level .I guess even the Hail-Hindutva-Hardliners have forgotten them. While they are bellowing over Ayodhya and Ram-Sethu Sundaram, why don’t they holler about the Pandits, and the other religious minorities, who have been the brunt of unbridled and systematic violence, the body of which is Pakistan and the ideological source, Islam. Oops! I said the unmentionable. My true colours are out. I am a venom-spewing, minority bashing, jingoistic, right winger! As if I give a damn.

The p-sec’s (thank you Krishna Aradhi, it is an awesome term), who usually are hoarse from crying out murder and foul, even when a brave man legitimately loses his life battling terrorists, why don’t you shed your tears for these poor souls as well ? On a side-note, I often wonder, whether those who suspect the authenticity of the encounter in which Mr. M C Sharma was martyred really think that we all have been hoodwinked, and in actuality, Mr. Sharma is alive, and somewhere in the Bahamas? I mean WTF! A man lost his life, how can that be fake ? Coming back to the p-sec’s , what do the mother-effing pseudo-secularist liberal assholes have to say ? What do the Teesta Setalvad’s and the Arundhati Roys have to say ? Where were the liberals,intellectuals,leaders,human right activists when there was an actual “ethnic” cleansing taking place ? I don’t think they will ever take a stand on this issue, because vociferating for the rights of an ethnically and religiously Hindu group would automatically make a right-winger out of them.

What happened to Kashmiri’s is now happening to the Bodo’s in Assam. They face a similar threat, and if the Bangladeshi plan pan’s out, we will have another Kashmir at our hand . But even that is not good enough. Because a) they are from the north-east , which is not deemed worthy of attention , b) they are Hindus practicing Brahma Dharma and c) Some jackasses want to bestow Indian citizenship upon the illegal immigrants to get some more votes. Why don’t these morons whore out their own mother’s and daughter’s instead? A more direct approach to grab votes. And it will work. Once again, no self respecting “truly” secular liberal would touch their issue with a ten foot pole. Alas, only saffronized to the hilt right-wingers can sympathize with their cause .

I am a Hindu, a proud one, and I leave no occasion to say it out loud. I am not proud of the fact that of lately, certain Hindu organizations , for the right or wrong reasons, have instigated violence against minorities. I am not proud of casteism, dowry system and a host of other crap like that, which is a part of it. But that is not the extent of Hinduism. That’s the flawed part. I am a proud Hindu because of its rich philosophy. Because it says “Sarva Dharma Sambhava” and “Vasudev Kutumbam” . There so many different schools of thought, from theistic, agnostic to even atheistic. I am proud of it because there has been no major Hindu evangelical movement, which indirectly lends weight to the Hindu principle of “Sarva Dharma Sambhava” . And I will never be ashamed of it. And a thousand curses and eternal damnation to those who try to belittle my culture and faith without even attempting to understand it.

I guess self-flagellation is a incredibly satisfying vocation. If I ever get a chance to go abroad, and hold an audience, I would make sure that I tell them what a hell hole India is , and how many atrocities are committed by the intolerant and chauvinistic Hindus on a daily basis . Boy oh boy, wouldn’t that win me a whole lot of brownie points !I would be the toast of the civilized society, if things worked out for me.

All I want to hear is a spade, being called a spade . I shall never ever proclaim what happened in Gujarat to be even remotely right or justified. But why did it happen ? Did the train burning incident was conjured up or state-sponsored as well. Why does being Hindu in India is not good enough for the English media and the liberals and secularists. BD made news, for the wrong reasons. It was right. They did something unimaginably evil. They raped a nun. But what about the bloody New Life Activists who had painted an extremely biased, inaccurate and evil picture of Hinduism through their pamphlets. Why don’t they face the heat? I know of quite a few politicians and social activists who are champions of secularism and defenders of minority rights. Are there any Muslim activists for Kashmiri pundits or Bodo’s ? This is a cheap shot, but what the hell, I am a right-winger now, aren’t I ? I would just like to know. I am not implying that there cannot be . Anyone know a name or two, do tell me . The same goes for conversions and shit. Are there any voices of reason who have come out openly against the destructive proselytizing, the one achieved through nefarious means.

I do not believe in chauvinism, linguistic parochialism, communalism, fundamentalism, communism and most of the other –isms. The one –ism I truly believe in is Indian-ism. Religion is secondary. But will I stay truly Indian, or will the farce going one in the name of God and Votes derail me , and leave me as a hollow Hindu, incensed and retributive ? I do not wish to say anything about what happened in Mumbai (26th November 2008). Enough has already been said and nothing has been done. But I would like to know if the red sacred thread worn around one’s wrist by Hindus is proof enough to elicit a response from a renowned journalist and TV-anchor, Rajdeep Sardesai, that they could be “Hindu” terrorists ? Was his train of thought anywhere close to the track ?

I often contemplate on the concept of secularism from an Indian perspective. And I realized this . There are those who are secular to such extreme lengths , that to garner votes/gain popularity among the liberals or to appease their altruistic cravings, will go to any length to appease the minorities. And then, there are the ones who would like dump them in the sea, or something equally horrible . And those are the only two kind who are heard or seen. I guess being neither here or there isn’t good enough to get heard. Isn’t a secular nation supposed to ensure that the rights of all different kinds are protected, but at the same time they are on the same footing . But not here, it’s either, “I will let you climb on my head, and piss” or “I will piss on you “ . And that pisses me off .

There are times when I wonder, whose side do I take, which path do I tread on? But there is none for me, no middle way as Buddha said. I am pro-India, but so are the right-wingers and left-wingers and the secularists, as they claim. They all have their own axes to grind, while the nation gets ground effectually. Meanwhile, all I wonder is, who cries for those are Hindu, and yet have suffered.

A documentary on Kashmiri Pandits